The X's Ex
by SheWritesInCursive
Summary: [Kate/OC] "But who is she kidding, really? Ten years. Ten years since they'd broken up and he can still make her feel like she's floating on clouds just by looking at her." [ Fate has brought them together again. But is fate really on Kate's side? ]
1. Chapter 1

_The X's Ex_

* * *

"Boss!" Almost as soon as Kate enters the pub, she's greeted by the _Hammersley _crew, her own personal welcoming squad. There's a collection of empty glasses in the middle of the table already, despite it being barely past 2000 hours, and 2Dads in particular is smiling and waving as though it has been significantly more than four hours since she'd seen him last. Kate barely suppresses an eyeroll at the overly-enthusiastic greeting - after all, she's not going to begrudge her crew the chance to let of some steam after a month's hard patrol and five guaranteed days of leave.

So she returns the wave and makes her way towards them, wending her way between chairs and tables and taking a seat between Bird and her new XO. Annika Patel has settled well into the _Hammersley_ over the last three months, especially for this being her first posting as an executive officer. Smart, quick-witted, funny and beautiful to boot - Kate's only complaint is that the woman is often quite sullen the first day of every patrol, although with two young boys at home, it's hardly a surprise she is a little upset to leave them behind.

"Ma'am." Annika greets respectfully, smiling kindly. Both her hands are clasped around a steaming mug of hot chocolate - she'd confided in the crew that she didn't drink, much to the crew's general bewilderment. It didn't seem to matter, because she rarely joined them at the pub, unless her family was out. Kate had met her sons at a BBQ last month, although she hadn't had much time to interact with the children as they had spent most of the day waging war against 2Dads with the ice from the esky. Smiling fondly at the memory, Kate smiles at her XO.

"Annika. Good to be home?"

"Oh yes." Annika agrees, dropping a marshmallow into her mug and stirring it slowly with a spoon. "The boys are both at karate at the moment so I thought I'd stop by before picking them up. Then we're headed to the park tomorrow with friends. How was your night?"

Kate opens her mouth to respond but is stopped as 2Dads chimes in. "Yeah!" He calls, leaning across Charge, his words a little slurred. "How was your date?"

Years ago, Kate would have simply silenced any sort of question like that with a glare, but her time with the _Hammersley _crew has softened her, and she simply raises an eyebrow. "And who says I was on a date?" She challenges, but 2Dads appears either too drunk or too curious to care.

"Well, you don't normally wear makeup just for a simple night at the pub with us. _Or _dress this nicely." He points out, grinning. Kate opens her mouth, not sure whether she's going to reprimand him or snap back, but he adds, "You do look lovely, by the way. It's a nice colour on you."

Kate rolls her eyes at the drunken compliment, deciding to let it slide. "Fine. The date was terrible. All he wanted to talk about was _Game of Thrones." _She's glad she's mentioned this little detail, as the crew dissolve into instant chatter as to whether the show is worth the hype or not, and Annika catches her gaze and smiles.

"There you go. They'll be too distracted to talk about you, now." She glances at her watch. "Anyway, I think I'll be off. Hubby will be home soon and I should pick up my boys from their activities. Thanks all for a lovely night." They all wave their farewells and return to their conversations, talking slightly louder as the band begins to play. Kate has just craned her neck to watch, the song oddly familiar, when Bird sighs whimsically.

"She is so nice." She muses, watching Annika's dark plait swishing from view. "And so are you, Boss." She grins cheerily, draining the last of her glass before resting her head on her arms. "Just lovely."

* * *

"So, can we talk about the fact that the guy singing is _totally _checking you out?" Bird squeals, widening her eyes in a pointed manner, before nodding her head in the direction of the stage, her gaze somewhat glassy from the three vodka and orange juices she's finished since Kate's been here. The alcohol seems to have done nothing to dull her enthusiasm. Kate, for her part, is seated at the end of the table, sipping her second glass of wine and watching with a detached sort of interest as the younger members of the crew debate whether the band's original songs are better than the covers. "He keeps looking at you all the time."

"You're being completely absurd." Kate shakes her head, the corners of her mouth twitching. Bird's words seem to have caught the interest of the rest of the crew though, because Charge trails off from his recount of a memorable fishing trip to chime in.

"I don't know." He tips his head slightly, draining the last of his drink before turning a critical eye back towards the lead singer. "Bird's right. Want us to close ranks, Boss? Warn him off? He's practically serenading you."

Dutchy twists around in his chair to investigate, the whole lot of them looking ridiculously un-subtle, Bird even rising into a half-standing position in order to get a better look. "They're right, you know." Dutchy observes. "Doesn't really look like your type though. Too many tattoos."

"How do you guys know what my type is?" Kate scoffs, unable to keep the laughter from her voice. "Actually, no. Don't answer that. You guys are already _way _too knowledgeable about my romantic life."

"Hey, just keen observation." 2Dads chimes in, turning back to the singer. "And for the record that last song he barely took his eyes off you."

Kate's saved the trouble of responding as the man in question finishes his song, speaking into the microphone. "You're a great audience! We're going to take a short break, folks, but don't go anywhere, because we'll be back in fifteen."

"He totally just winked at you!" Bird squeals, speaking slightly louder than normal, so that Kate has to physically restrain herself from clapping a hand over the woman's mouth. "You had to have seen that."

"Okay, okay!" Kate concedes, knowing it's only a matter of time before 2Dads approaches the man. "He's probably just looking at me because... I know him."

"You know him?!" Dutchy repeats incredulously. "I thought we knew all your friends. How?"

"That's... my business." Kate murmurs evasively, before flapping a hand about. "Seriously, haven't you got anything more interesting to talk about?"

"That means they slept together." 2Dads tries to whisper to Charge, even though Kate still catches every word. She clears her throat pointedly and 2Dads gulps. "I'm headed to the bar." He mutters quickly, despite the fact that his glass is still half-full.

"Another wine, thanks." Kate's eyes narrow as she holds up her empty glass. For a moment, 2Dads looks as though he's about to argue but seems to reconsider and nods solemnly.

"And another for me!" Bird calls, raising her glass too.

2Dads scoffs. "Buy your own, Birdie."

Kate turns her attention back to the stage, but the band members have already dispersed, no doubt to buy their own drinks. She finishes her wine, but only has to wait several minutes before 2Dads returns, balancing a tray of drinks with more concentration than she's ever seen him inject into his work before. He places his own drink in front of his chair before depositing Kate's wine and a vibrantly green shot in front of her. "Uh, Boss-" 2Dads hesitates for a moment, then taps the small glass. "Uh, the singer we're not talking about said to give you this." Kate eyes the drink, torn between irritation and amusement. 2Dads frowns as he seems to wrack his brain. "He said... _anniversaries are meant to be celebrated, _and to drink up."

Kate and 2Dads glance back at the bar in time to see the man raise his own matching drink and bring it to his lips. Rolling her eyes, Kate pushes herself to her feet. "Bastard." She mutters.

"Boss?" 2Dads gulps, looking taken aback and half-raising his hands as though preparing to defend himself from attack.

"Not you." Kate dismisses him with a wave of her hand. She makes to walk over to him and then, at the last moment, seems to think better of it and doubles back. Ignoring the curious looks of everyone at the table, she downs the shot in one and moves away once again. He doesn't look surprised to see her approaching him. On the contrary, he gives a cocky grin and taps the bar stool next to him with his foot.

"You're causing a scene." Kate grumbles as she slides onto the stool. "And that stuff is disgusting, Zac." She can feel it burning her throat, but the feeling is oddly comforting as well, giving her a strength she hadn't expected.

"It's good to see you too." Zac flashes a dimpled smile at her and she hates the way she can't help but smile back at his light and conversational tone. "What's it been? Two years?"

"Five at least." Kate scoffs, tapping her fingernail on the bar in front of her.

"Well..." He leans closer, so that his mouth is close to her ear, hot breath ticking her neck. "Happy Anniversary, Kate."

She shakes her head, fingering the chain of her dog-tags. "We got together in July." She points out. And she's not going to fall back into his life, not going to let his charm take over her senses. After all, where had charming men ever gotten her?

Zac shrugs in a nonchalant fashion. "Well, we broke up in May. Ten years ago today if you recall. What's that? Tin? Either way, significantly more successful than our relationship." He winks at her again, downing his own drink. "You going to introduce me to your friends?" He turns his gaze towards the table, and Kate mimics his actions just in time to see several heads ducking. "Wow." He chuckles. "They are all very unsubtle."

"Tell me about it." Kate agrees wearily, wondering vaguely how much alcohol she'll have to buy the rest of the crew so they forget everything about this night. "And I've got to go back to them." She makes to stand up but he reaches out and takes her hand. As she glances at his arms, she sees he's added a few more tattoos to his sleeves. "You turned me into a mermaid." Kate muses, brushing a thumb against the spot where her name had been etched. And, God, it seems like a lifetime ago that she'd watched the delicate letters inked into his flesh, had traced her fingers along them.

He smiles, and the mermaid's tail seems to ripple somewhat. "Was either that or a t-rex on a skateboard. But I figured this suited you better. Always in the water whenever you could be." He catches her gaze and grins. "Stay, Kit. Have a drink with me. My shout."

"And leave your adoring fans to their silence?" Kate quips, nodding to a group of women staring dreamily up at him. He's always been like that, surrounded by gaggles of lust-filled women. And years ago, she'd looked at him like that too.

"For you, anything." He grins, his eyes not wavering from hers. For a moment she's frozen, and she hates how he can still just look at her like _that _and her heart starts to flutter. But then she shakes her head softly.

"It was good to see you, Zac." She smiles sadly. "Go and sing."

* * *

It's been years. Years and years since they'd agreed it was over and gone their separate ways. And yet standing in front of him tonight had made her feel as though no time had passed at all.

But it had always been like that. His charisma and charm had always been dangerous. Had always dragged her in deeper than she'd ever intended to go. Hell, she'd never meant to fall for him in the first place, but that damned smile...

Well, it had drawn her in.

And as Kate stares at her reflection in the warped bathroom mirror she feels her heart flutter unexpectedly. _Damn him, _she thinks. _Damn him for showing up and making me feel this way. _

Peering critically at her reflection, she finds herself digging in her bag for a tube of lipstick. And she's not reapplying her makeup for him - no. It's for her.

But who is she kidding, really? Ten years. Ten years since they'd broken up and he can still make her feel like she's floating on clouds just by looking at her.

"Get a grip, Kate." She mutters to her own reflection, glaring. "Get a hold of yourself."

* * *

She's not looking for him. No. But her gaze _does _happen to pass over the bar and she can't help but notice that Zac is no longer there. For a moment she thinks he's left entirely, and she can't quite figure out how she feels about that. But one glance at the crew has her following their collective gazes and, of course, there he is, standing in a secluded corner of the bar chatting to a leggy brunette.

"So what's the story?" 2Dads presses without preamble as she drags her gaze away and takes a seat, sipping her wine more for something to do rather than any real thirst. "You obviously know the guy!"

"You guys looked so cute together!" Bird squeals in her usual _My Little Pony _level of enthusiasm.

"Yeah, definitely looked like more than an old friend." Charge muses, taking a gulp of his guava mojo.

"Oh my gosh." Kate drags a hand over her face, talking through her fingers. "We dated. Years ago. We were together for... four years, maybe? His name is Zac. And I haven't seen him in years. Does this answer all your questions?" She peels back her hands to attempt her best glare.

"So... he's your X." A wide grin splits 2Dads' face. "He's the X's ex!" He declares excitedly, slurring slightly on the words.

"She's not your X anymore, idiot. She's the boss!" Dutchy points out, slapping a hand over the back of his head.

2Dads shrugs. "Oops. I forgot. Either way. Is it weird, bumping into an ex-boyfriend?"

"Ah..." Kate begins, but she's interrupted by everyone's sudden interest in someone over her shoulder, and she knows even before she's turned around that Zac has taken the stage once more.

"Thank you everyone. I just wanted to do a quick shout out to a very special audience member here with us tonight." Kate feels her face flush and twists around to glare at him darkly, but Zac merely grins even brighter, waving merrily before continuing to talk through the microphone. "She may be my ex wife, but she's also one of my best friends. I've known Kate since she was a nine-year-old arguing with my mates because she wanted to play pirates with us too, and now she is a freaking lieutenant commander in the Navy! That deserves a clap!" Kate feels as though she'd like nothing better than to sink into the floor and disappear. Over the applause and stares of what feels like the entire pub, Kate buries her face in her hands. "Have a good night, everyone! This next song is one of our very own."

As the music starts up and Kate peeks out from behind her fingers, she spots many pairs of eyes on her.

"You were married?" Bird squeals, breaking the shocked silence of the _Hammersley _crew.


	2. Chapter 2

The cool air is sobering as they make their way out of the pub and along the boardwalk. She's far from drunk - just slightly impaired enough to not really care about the curious and knowing looks the crew gives her as she leaves with Zac. However, she's still slightly annoyed with him for accidentally-on-purpose exposing their past marital status.

"You know, I hate other people knowing my business." Kate grumbles as she stumbles slightly in her attempt to remove her heeled sandals from her blistered feet. Zac throws out a helpful hand, steadying her, and the goosebumps are probably just from the cold anyway. Successfully unbuckling the shoes, she slides them off and clasps them tightly in one fist, leading the way along the boardwalk.

"Well, hey, if you were me, wouldn't you want to brag at how you landed _this._" He waves a hand in Kate's general direction. "I mean, regardless of how briefly." He flashes a somewhat apologetic glance. "Will it cause problems with your crew? They didn't exactly seem like the type to mind their own business?"

Her irritation softening, Kate shakes her head. "They'll be fine. They're a good group. And they might out a toe across the line of personal boundaries but... well, for the most part, it doesn't ever go further than that. Though they're probably following us, they're so bloody curious." Kate mutters under her breath, and despite knowing that it probably wouldn't be the case, she can't quite shake the concern that 2Dads and Charge are drunk enough to try. But as she twists around to check behind her, she sees no wayward sailors. The boardwalk is deserted - probably usual for nearly 0100 hours. Just her and Zac. "So, what have you been up to? Aside from flirting with the world, of course?"

He gives a soft chuckle and flashes another winning smile at her. "Oh, you know me. Travelling from place to place."

"You were always so modest." Kate tips her head as she struggles to remember the last news she'd heard about him. "Last I heard, you were in Nepal building schools?"

"I never told you that." He gives her a curious look. "Don't tell me you've been checking up on me?"

"A bit." She concedes. "I sometimes hear from the old group. Fiona and I still chat at least every few weeks or so, and I hear from Max every now and then."

"The Fearsome Four." Zac sums up, flashing another winning smile in Kate's direction. "I heard Max is back teaching at our old school now. And Fee is an interior designer I think. But I haven't really seen either of them for at least four years. It's crazy when you think how bloody inseparable we all were. And you're a Commanding Officer now. I'm proud." As they move closer to a large tree at the end of the path, the loud squawking of bats grows louder. "You know, I remember when you first got your letter of acceptance to ADFA. I'd never seen you look so proud." They both stop and watch for a moment as a bat flies above, silhouetted against a street light. "I always knew I'd lose you to the sea. Water was in your blood."

"That wasn't why we broke up." Kate murmurs softly, scraping her hair into a loose ponytail to stop it blowing around her face. "God, Zac, we used to fight all the time."

"I know." Zac agrees. "I'm not blaming the Navy for how things turned out, Kate. I'm just... reminiscing. In my own depressing way." The clouds shift and the moon emerges, sending a silver glow across their surroundings. "Last I heard you were with that Flynn guy."

Kate smiles sadly. "Who's checking up on who now?" She frowns. It's not as if she's particularly upset he knows; after all, the whole of Cairns Navy had been privy to the failure of that particular relationship. "No, that kind of... fizzled out."

"I never thought I'd be around to here Kate McGregor use the term 'fizzle'." Zac raises an eyebrow.

Kate shrugs, keeping her gaze on her feet. "Well, it's hard to keep a relationship alive when you're hundreds of miles away and barely see each other." The heel of one of her sandals hits her leg and she readjusts them. "It was mostly the Navy keeping us together anyway. We both agreed to end things. And... it's nicer, now. Just being friends. Less pressure. And he's dating someone else now. And they're good together, so..." She trails off and looks up to him. "What about you?"

"No one that I could make stick." He murmurs, nudging at a rock with his toe. "Nah. Could never stop comparing them all to you, Kit." There's a pause, but it's not as awkward as it should have been. She'd always loved that about him; he'd never made her feel awkward or embarrassed or anxious. "Besides. I travel too much."

"So what are you doing in Cairns, anyway?"

"Just here for... a business opportunity, actually." Zac waves a hand. "But you don't want to hear about all that. It's boring as all hell." He turns to look at her. "I'm glad you stayed. At the pub. I know... well, I didn't _really _mean to embarrass you in front of your crew. I just..."

"I get it." Kate interjects. "And... we had fun, Zac. We lived the dream. How many people can say that?"

"We just couldn't make it stick." Zac finishes sadly. Kate feels something against her hand and glances down. It's Zac's fingers, brushing against the back of her hand, and it's easy - oh, so easy - to let him take her hand and squeeze lightly. "I missed you, Kit."

"Yeah, well..." She shrugs lightly before catching sight of him. "I've missed you too, Zac." And it's the truth after all, because part of her will always love Zac Tate. "But you'll be gone soon. Off to... freaking Cambodia or Guatemala or... somewhere barely pronounceable and-"

"Well, you could always come with me." He interjects. Kate stops, feeling the pebbly footpath digging into her feet, and turns to look at him. Zac shrugs. "Come on! You always wanted to travel to the ends of the world. Come with me."

Kate shakes her head, a smile curling at the corners of her mouth as she starts to walk again, gaze back on her feet. "Sure. Do I have time to sell my house first?"

"I'm serious." He murmurs, squeezing her hand. "Come see the world with me. We'll do something crazy. I mean, fate has brought us together and-"

Kate dismisses his words with a scoff of laughter. "I don't believe in fate."

"Yeah you do." He chuckles, shaking his head. "You forget, Kit. I know you."

Kate smiles softly. "I... I concede that there is something in the fact that, out of all the bars you could have been playing at and I could have been drinking at, we happened to find ourselves at the same one. But that doesn't negate that we both decided to get the divorce."

He waves a hand vaguely. "Eh, divorce is just a piece of paper." A wicked grin splits his face. "One I'm sure your mother gloated about non-stop."

"You have no idea." Kate groans at the memory. "I must admit though, I didn't really stay to listen to the full speech."

"Good Ol' Barb. May Satan have mercy on her soul."

"She's still alive." Kate deadpans.

"You're kidding?!" Zac laughs. For a while, they just walk in that meandering fashion with no real destination in mind, Zac's hand warm in hers. The boardwalk is deserted, and as they make their way along it, it almost feels as though they're the only two people in the world.

"You hear much from your family?" Kate breaks the silence, thinking of the family that had opened their arms to her.

"Eh, not really." Zac shrugs. "Dad kicked the bucket two years ago and Mum the year after."

Kate doesn't expect the news to hurt as much as it does. But memories of homecooked meals, of warm hugs and jovial laughter fill her mind. "I'm sorry." She murmurs.

"Thanks." Zac murmurs. "But I still see Sarah and Rach at least once a year. They all love to boss me around, tell me I need to settle down and all that." He shrugs again. "Sisters." They stop at a playground and Zac stops in his path, his eyes lit up. "Come on." He murmurs, tugging gently at her hand and pulling her towards it.

"Oof." Kate stumbles with the change of direction. "Give me a sec. I'm barefoot, here." She tiptoes across the bark-chip and gradually makes her way towards the swingset. "What are we doing?"

"Having fun?" Zac suggests, patting the seat of the swing. "Come on."

"You want me to bloody climb on a swing in the middle of the night?" Kate folds her arms, wondering what her crew would say if they could see her now.

"Eh, it's morning, not night. And you always loved the swings. You used to say it was like flying. So come on." He pats the swing once more. Hesitating for only a moment longer, Kate resigns herself to just roll with it and makes her way to the swing, dropping her shoes in favour of clutching the heavy metal chains.

"And are you going to push me?" She grins widely, leaning her head against one of the chains.

"Nah." Zac grins, sliding into the swing next to her. "Swing yourself." As Kate rolls her eyes and moves into a rhythm, pumping her legs backwards and forwards, Zac speaks again. "Remember that time after Colin Radford's party and we all ended up at the school playground?"

"Oh my gosh. Vaguely." Kate laughs, her last word ending in a shriek as Zac launches his swing sidewards, his hip just nudging hers. "You and Ben Masters got into a pull-up competition and Rowena whatserface and I ended up splitting a bottle of wine up on the fort."

"And I kissed you for the first time." Zac adds.

Kate feels a redness in her cheeks once more and nods. "On the see-saw. I remember."

"I bloody fell over straight after." Zac grumbles. "Come on, Kate, you can't deny we had some fun times."

"I..." She feels her determination falter for a moment. "No. No, I can't deny that."

"What's the problem with having a little fun?" He winks at her, as he bumps her once more with the swing. "Besides..." He grins. "Maybe there's something to be said about Cairns anyway."

* * *

Her bed is wrong. It's the first thought that flows through Kate's head as consciousness slowly dawns upon her, and her eyes fly open almost immediately afterwards, shutting almost instantaneously in an attempt to block out the bright light. "Urgh." She mumbles near-unintelligibly, raising a hand to shield her eyes. "I-"

"Still a sleep-talker, I see." Zac's voice muses drily. As she feels him shift beside her, the events of the previous night come flooding back to her. Zac, singing at the pub. Them leaving together. Walking and talking and the park and kissing, and then-

Well, they'd just made it back to his motel room.

"It's not sleep-talk if you're conscious." Kate grumbles, pressing her face into the pillow for a second.

"But you were jabbering all night." Zac protests, as Kate pulls her face free and turns to look at him. "Something about how devastatingly handsome I am?"

"Oh, piss off." Kate mutters, sweeping a clump of hair from her face. "You always were full of crap."

"That's not how I remember it." Zac grins, before adopting a higher-pitched voice. "_Don't let the loaf of bread into the bathroom. I want to sleep in peace!_"

Kate shoves blindly in the direction she thinks Zac is in and is rewarded with a light 'oof' as he pulls away. Slowly, consciousness returns to her and she sits up, pulling the bed sheet with her. "So... last night?"

"Was... unexpected." Zac finishes. "I mean, I didn't really expect to run into you." Kate nods soberly but he leans closer, adding, "I'm glad I did, though."

"And now I'm sure this will be the talk of the entire boat. I mean, they already know _way _too much about me."

"They seem like a good bunch."

"Yeah, they are." Kate nods solemnly. "They've got my back."

"I'm glad." He murmurs, brushing a thumb over her shoulder-blade. "Hungry? We could head to a cafe for something to eat?"

"I..." Kate hesitates for a moment, knowing that she's throwing herself back into the choppy waters of their previous relationship. But then she nods. "Yeah." She agrees. "That would be good."


	3. Chapter 3

It baffles Kate how a team so adapt at covert operations in the field can be so unsubtle when it comes to her personal life.

_Ridiculously _unsubtle_, _she corrects as she turns around in search of a folder and sees four heads hurriedly look away. It had been like that ever since she'd set foot back on _Hammersley - _conversations breaking up as soon as she enters a room and hushed, guilty silences. She'd let it slide at first. After all, living in each other's pockets, she'd come to expect the curiosity and wonder. But now, her patience was wearing thin.

"Oh, for heaven's sake!" Kate snaps, as 2Dads throws another quick glance her way and hurriedly ducks once more. "Can you all just stop staring at me like I've suddenly joined a cult?" There's a tense silence, broken only by guilty shuffling. "Is it really that interesting, me running into Zac?" There's another exchange of curious looks, and Kate rolls her eyes, barely suppressing the urge to tap her foot and click her tongue. "Does it help to answer if I give you all permission to speak freely?"

"Well..." Dutchy begins tentatively, and the others look more than a little relieved at his apparent 'taking one for the team', even though he seems to be regretting this particular choice as he catches Kate's eye. Of course, they've always had a trusting friendship outside of work and had always spoken, but even Dutchy seems to be uncomfortable as he swallows deliberately before answering. "It's more the fact that you married him. Dating is one thing but... well, marriage is another."

Her eyes flicker over the rest of the crew in time to see Charge and Bird nodding in agreement, though they stop as soon as Kate makes eye contact. "So the fact that I signed a couple of pieces of paper means that work is beyond weird all of a sudden?" She shakes her head, before waving her hand. "Look, I was nineteen when we got married and we split up when I was first deployed. It was years ago so I never mentioned it. It's only that he's back in town that it's suddenly become relevant again."

"And is he staying in town?" Charge questions. Kate flashes a questioning look in his direction and he hastens to add, "Uh… _Ma'am_. I mean, it's your business. We just... we don't want to see you hurt." The unspoken _again _has never sounded louder, because they'd all seen her after Jim's death, not to mention after her ill-fated relationship with Mike. "Just... be careful, okay?"

Kate nods slowly, and 2Dads clears his throat. "Uh... Ma'am, can you help me with the EOD for a second?" The rest of the crew seem to take Kate's walking away as closure of the subject and slowly all head back to their duties.

"What's wrong?" Kate questions under her breath as she reaches 2Dads.

He flashes a small smile. "Nothing." He whispers, so that no one else can hear. "But you looked like you could use the escape."

* * *

It's nearly seven hours later when Kate drags a hand through her hair, wincing as her hand catches on a knot. Returning both hands to the keyboard, she adds a few more words to her email, then frowns and deletes them once more. How can talking to a man in person feel so easy but writing it down be so hard?

Barely keeping in a near-growl of irritation, she closes the inbox and opens a news site, scanning it vaguely without really taking in much. After all, it's all the same sort of staff - a few football and celebrity scandals along with the occasional story promising ten tips to an amazing night sleep (which she doesn't read but is fairly sure they don't involve at least seven coffees a day and your ex-husband suddenly showing up back in town, not to mention the fleet of FFVs currently plaguing their waters). She closes the browser, muttering under her breath.

"Are you okay, Ma'am?" Dutchy frowns. Kate jumps - she hadn't realised anyone else was there. Dutchy holds his hands up apologetically from the doorway as he pauses in his movement towards the computer beside her. "Sorry! Didn't mean to startle you. I can go if you-"

"No, it's okay." Kate pushes the chair back from the desk and clambers to her feet. "Sorry. I was just checking my emails."

"Great minds, eh?" He grins, clicking away. Kate watches him absentmindedly as a smile spreads across his face. He catches her and raises an eyebrow. "What?"

"So you're allowed to quiz me about my life but I see you email smirking over there and suddenly _that's _crossing a line?" Kate clucks, eyes twinkling. "This wouldn't happen to be that woman you were talking to at the bar the other night?"

"Ah, so you _did _see things aside from certain musicians?" Dutchy quips, easily dodging her half-hearted whack on the arm.

"Oi!" She rolls her eyes.

"Well, you'll have the chance to meet her. Having a BBQ at the park when we're back in port." He grins as he taps away at the keys, before smirking at her. "You need a plus one or will Zac be busy?"

Although the smile is still firmly on his lips, there's something in his tone that doesn't quite sit right with Kate. She peers critically at Dutchy, realising as she does so that his smile doesn't quite reach his eyes. "You don't like him." She murmurs in realisation.

"I..." Dutchy looks taken aback. For a few moments he seems to open and close his mouth like a fish. And then he shakes his head. "I just... look, all I know about the guy is that you got divorced. And he sings in pubs. I... I don't really know him." Kate ducks her head and Dutchy adds, "But... bring him. I'm sure once I got to know him..." He trails off. "Asking as a friend... is he staying in town?"

"I don't know." Kate hesitates. "He's planning another relief trip at the moment so I'm sure he'll be off somewhere before long." She can feel Dutchy's pitying gaze on her and she hastens to add, "I'm not looking for... for the white picket fence, Dutchy. But he's..." She hesitates for a moment. "He's comfortable. He's... he's fun. And he's always going to be someone I care about. And... it's kind of nice not to be coming home to an empty house now."

"Wait, he's staying at your place?" Kate raises an eyebrow at the sudden serious tone and he shakes his head. "Sorry. It's... it's your business. It's just..." He sucks in a breath. "Look, he seems like the guy that's not-"

Her watch beeps loudly, sending them both into silence. For a moment, Kate wonders whether she's relieved at the sudden interruption or frustrated that she won't hear the rest of what Dutchy is about to say. _Not what? _She teeters on the verge of questioning him further, but then changes her mind, instead pushing herself to her feet. "I'm on watch." She murmurs, moving towards the door. One hand on the doorframe, though, she turns back. "Trust me, Dutchy. He's not going to hurt me."

* * *

"2Dads, are you reading comics again?" Kate calls out as she hears the tell-tale rustling of paper from 2Dads' lap as he sits, eyes downwards, at the radar.

Predictably, he jumps as if he's suddenly been electrocuted, shaking his head profusely and stuffing something out of sight. "Uh... no Ma'am. Sorry."

Leaning back in her own chair, she can just see the radar 2Dads is seated in front of, completely devoid of anyone but themselves. She can't exactly blame him for finding something to keep himself occupied on this first watch; Kate herself swears her watch has barely moved in the last fifteen minutes, and the mothership they're supposed to be searching for is proving more elusive than Bigfoot. "So what's this one about?" Kate queries, only mildly interested but keen for any topic that will speed this night up. "Zombies? Monsters? Scantily-clad women?"

"Oh... well..." There's an uncharacteristic fidgeting from him. "Uh... all of the above, I guess. You know me."

Kate eyes him suspiciously. "What _are _you reading?" She presses, sitting up a little straighter in the hopes of catching sight of a title. "Don't tell me it's an actual book?!"

"It's nothing. It's..." He hesitates for only a moment longer before quailing under the look she gives him. "Okay. But... don't laugh, okay?" He takes a deep breath. "I... I'm reading up on what I need to do to be a Petty Officer." His shoulders hunch. "Go on. Laugh."

"You want to be a Petty Officer?" Kate begins tentatively, because the confession is the last thing she had expected from 2Dads; truthfully, she'd been concerned the papers he was hiding had been a little more X-rated after his initial hesitance.

"Yeah, I know. It's stupid." He shoves the papers further away from him, and she hears them fall from his lap and hit the floor.

"It's not stupid." Kate tells him, trying to catch his gaze. "It's not stupid at all, 2Dads. I… I think it's a brilliant idea."

"Really?" For a moment, there's a flicker of a hopeful smile across his face. But then he shakes his head. "Look, I know it's not going to happen overnight. But I just... I feel like I actually want this career now. And... I'd like to be more than the screw-up Leading Seaman."

"You're not a screw up, 2Dads! And putting yourself down isn't going to help."

"Yeah, well…" He gestures vaguely towards the papers on the ground, gabbling nervously. "It's going to take more than a few papers to help me. I was hoping Charge might be able to help but he's so busy with Lani every shore leave… with them seeing each other for real and all."

"Well… I can help you?" Kate suggests. 2Dads looks up incredulously. "What? Why is that so bizarre?"

"I…" He hesitates for only a moment longer before he smiles. "That would be awesome. Uh… Ma'am." He can't quite smother his grin as he turns back to the radar. However after a moment his expression turns serious as he leans closer. "I've got a contact."

"Pull it up on the EOD?" Kate presses, moving closer to get a better look. "I think we found our mothership."

* * *

It's two days later that they finally make it to port. The crew are eager to celebrate the four days guaranteed leave, however she can't quite bring herself to join in their eager celebrations as they head towards the pub, knowing that she'll be stuck inside NAVCOM for at least another few hours. Fidgeting slightly with her bun, she digs her phone out of her pocket once more to shoot another message to Zac.

"Been hearing some interesting stories, Kate." Kate jerks her head up and barely smothers an eyeroll as Mike takes a seat next to her. "What's this about a husband?"

"_Ex_-husband." She corrects, cursing Navy gossip. She hates the smug, knowing look on Mike's face, even though she knows that his understanding of all that had happened is slim to none. More to distract Mike from asking any more questions than any real curiosity, Kate adds, "I suppose 2Dads blabbed?"

The smug look on Mike's face stays. "Actually, no. But I'm going to keep my sources secret-"

"So Charge?" Kate deadpans, knowing that he is the only other member of _Hammersley _that regularly kept in contact with Mike. The look on Mike's face gives him away.

"You never told me about... _Jack_?" She feels a rush of irritation that his tone is almost accusatory, and is glad when she spies Maxine waving her in. As she makes her way towards the office she stops, twisting around.

"Mike?" She grins. "You never asked."

* * *

It's past 0100 hours that Kate jolts awake on the lounge to see Zac walk through the kitchen. He winces as he catches her gaze, smiling apologetically. "Sorry." He murmurs. "You shouldn't have waited up."

"Urgh." Kate swipes a hand across her face, shaking hair out of her eyes. She'd arrived home hours ago, showered and changed before moving downstairs to wait for him on the lounge. Somewhere along the way she'd fallen asleep, the opening title of the TV series she'd started watching looping in the background. "Zac, where have you been? I've been texting."

"Had some dull meeting about 'strategies for sourcing further donations'." He moves closer and presses a kiss to her forehead. "But if I had have known you were home I would have cut out early. My phone died." He waves the device in an irritated fashion, before tossing it carelessly into an armchair. "How was your patrol? Did you defeat some evil?"

"Mmm. Just a mothership." She tries and fails to stifle a yawn as she sits up. "Want to watch a movie?"

"Come on." Zac murmurs, taking her hands and gently pulling her up. "You need bed. Like, a proper bed. Not that monstrosity." He gestures vaguely towards the lounge.

Kate nods sleepily, too exhausted to argue. "You want your phone on charger?" She frowns, jabbing a thumb vaguely behind her.

"I only want to talk to one person right now." He grins, leaning over to flick off the lights. "But first…" He loops his arm around her waist, leading her upstairs. "…she needs sleep."


	4. Chapter 4

The first thing Kate hears upon waking is the glorious sound of bacon sizzling in a frying pan downstairs. She knows it's such a simple thing really, in the grand scheme of things, to wake up to food, but the mere fact that there is someone else here in her too-big house means more to her than she can put into words. Taking a moment to stretch lazily, she heads downstairs, half-heartedly smoothing down her hair. Zac has seen her far messier than track pants and a singlet anyway.

"Hey!" He greets cheerfully as he spots her on the staircase. "You're just in time. I was about to come wake you. Sit down." He gestures towards the bar stools and she obliges, resting her chin in her hands.

"I missed your cooking." She says through a yawn, admiring the ease at which he moves around her kitchen.

"Well, I've got to say I don't miss yours." He flashes her a cheeky grin as she arranges her face to mock-indignation. Unfazed, he shrugs. "Hey, I still remember that curry you made for my birthday."

Kate winces at the memory, but refuses to go down without a fight. "At least I tried. And I still maintain I followed that recipe to the letter!"

"There was _at least _a cup of salt in that." Zac scoffs. "Remember, Kit! One-T-B means one tablespoon, not a cup." He grins at her. "It smelt amazing, though." He concedes, leaning over to put two pieces of toast in the toaster. "And, hey, I _did _quite enjoy my birthday McDonalds dinner."

The memory brings a smile to Kate's face too as she remembers how she'd paid extra for one of those stupid paper McDonalds party hats, and how they'd slid down the slide in the playground like children. "Do you think we're still banned from there?" Kate wonders aloud, smile still firmly attached to her face.

"Probably." Zac chuckles, shaking his head in mock sadness. "It's like they'd never seen a twenty year old climbing to the top of the slide and declaring himself the Birthday King before, hey?" He gives a respectful bow in Kate's direction. "With his loyal Queen at his side, of course." He screws up his face for a moment in thought, and then shrugs. "Eh, I still maintain that six year old started the battle, not me."

Kate furrows her brow. "You know, looking back, it seems to only be with you that I get banned places."

"Oh, don't act all perfect with me!" Zac scoffs, rolling his eyes. "We both know it's your bad influence." The toast pops, and he begins to butter it generously.

"Where did all this stuff come from?" Kate enquires, examining the fresh loaf of bread and the carton of eggs sitting on the bench. "I know all this wasn't in my fridge."

"Well, I mean, there was _something _in there..." Zac begins, gesturing towards the back door. "...but it was furry and green so it went straight outside. No... see, all this..." He waves a hand over the detritus of the kitchen, "...came from the shops. So... it's this place where you go and get ingredients to cook. Because I was kind of worried you'd get..." He screws up his face in deep thought, then asks, "...what's the opposite of scurvy? Because it seems like all you eat is fruit and yoghurt."

"Yeah, well..." She shrugs. "Even _I _can't screw that stuff up."

"You need a proper meal every now and then." He slides the bacon and eggs from the frying pan and onto the toast, before passing her the plate. "So eat!"

"What about you?" Kate notices that he has no food for himself.

He waves a hand in the air as though dismissing her concerns. "Pfft. I ate hours ago, Kit." He grins at her incredulous look. "Well, not all of us slept in."

Her mouth waters at the plate in front of her, and she digs in without hesitation. And it might just be the most delicious thing she's ever tasted in her entire life, but that's always been Zac; even when they'd been broke, he'd still managed to make two-minute-noodles taste like a gourmet delicacy.

"So," She asks between mouthfuls, "What's the plan for today? We could head up to Kuranda if you wanted? Or down to Mission Beach for a bit of a drive?"

The frying pan hisses as Zac submerges it in soapy water. "You're going to a barbecue with your crew, remember?"

She can't help but slump her shoulders at the prospect of even more curious looks and silent judgement, before recalling Dutchy's invitation. "Hey, you feel like coming with me? Then at least I could get out early."

She's surprised when Zac looks less than enthused about this prospect. On the contrary, he simply shakes his head in a serious kind of way. "Haven't I caused enough troubles with your crew already?" He points out. "I feel like if I'm within reach your sailors might take me out. After all, I _am _the big bad trying to steal their beloved boss away."

"They won't." Kate rolls her eyes, and she can't quite explain the slight twinge of annoyance she feels towards her crew. After all, she is a perfectly capable, strong and independent woman, and yet they seemed to insist on seeing her, at least on a personal level, as some kind of incompetent baby sister in desperate need of protection. "They'll be good. And... if they're not... well, they can scrub some toilets."

"Ha!" Zac gives a wry smile as he continues to clean the frying pan. "Good to see some things haven't changed."

"I'd forgotten about that." Kate muses quietly.

"How could you?" Zac grins. "I think it's shaped every relationship I've had since. If you were the person cleaning the toilets, you were the one who had screwed up."

Kate rolls her eyes. "Come with me!" She all but begs.

Zac looks sympathetic, but shakes his head. "Look, I'll walk you there on my way to the office. I'm going to try and get some admin stuff done anyway. All the boring paperwork stuff - organising infrastructure transport and everything. But once you're done, we can do something special." He gestures towards the plate. "Now please, Kit. Eat."

* * *

Kate can't help but laugh as she watches Zac hop and jump in accordance with a chalk-outlined hopscotch outside a brightly painted child care centre. Of course, she can't say it particularly surprises her; he's always had a zest for life that she could only dream about. At the end he grins and turns to face her, raising an eyebrow.

"Not a chance." Kate shakes her head before he's even asked, walking around the drawing.

"Oh, come on!" He scoffs, doing a sort of jig to move himself in front of her, walking backwards and smiling his goofy grin at her. "Where's the girl that got yelled at by the Coles manager for doing handstands in a shopping trolley?"

Kate snorts with laughter at the memory. "Oh God. _That _was purely Fee's bad influence. She bet me I couldn't." She stabs at a pedestrian crossing button. "And you make me out to be such a rebel. Most of the time we were at work!"

"Well, we did have some fun times." Zac grins as the light turns green and they make their way over towards the park entrance. He has to stoop slightly to pass underneath an overhanging tree branch, though somehow manages to pluck a flower from in amongst its leaves, tucking it behind an ear.

"So... is there a date for this next trip?" Kate touches a hand to the flower and secures it more soundly, leaning against the park gates. "You seem to be making a lot of plans."

"We're trying to source some vaccines and building materials and to do that, we need financial backers. So that means I have the lovely job of trying to convince rich people to help us out. With the way things are going... maybe a few months?" Kate can't help but look down. It's not as if she's particularly surprised by the news, but it is still a blow. Zac reaches forwards and tucks her chin up with two fingers. "You could always come with me."

Kate lets out a dry laugh and continues to walk forwards. "This again? Zac, I've got... got the boat and the crew and-"

"And they'll all be here when you get back." Zac gives her hand a light squeeze, turning her to face him once more. "Come on, Kate. What's life without a little adventure?" She knows that now, hovering in full view of the _Hammersley _crew is hardly the spot to have this conversation. And, hell, if she's honest she hardly even knows _what _the conversation is. But before she's even managed to consider what to say, Zac has spoken again. "Kate, I... I need you to know this isn't just... I don't know... a fling with an ex to me. This... it feels like we've been given a second chance and I'm... I don't want to waste it this time. I know... last time I wasn't..."

"Zac-" Kate shakes her head, because she needs him to stop blaming himself. "It wasn't just you. God, we were so young and- it wasn't just your fault."

He doesn't say anything to acknowledge her reassurances, and she wonders whether in fact he's listened to them at all. "Look, I don't need an answer now. Just... I need you to know how I feel. Just... just think about it, okay?"

She nods soberly, turning towards the playground and field in time to catch 2Dads' gaze. He lifts a hand in polite greeting, before turning to call after one of Annika's boys. A moment later he's dashed off after him, every bit as childish as the boys. Kate gives a half-smile in his direction, before turning back to Zac. She's not sure she wants to leave him this way, with the insecurities ringing around in his head. "Are you sure you didn't want to come along and meet everyone?" Kate asks, trying and failing to make her voice go back to normal. "I'm sure they'd love to pick your brains about every single embarrassing thing I've ever done."

Zac shrugs, but he smiles all the same, and Kate feels slightly better. "I think I caused you enough embarrassment with them the other night at the pub." He grins at her. "Besides, I need to sort a few things out with the charity and you do this, and then," He takes both her hands in his, "we're going out tonight."

"Oh are we?" Kate smirks, taking a step closer and raising an eyebrow.

"Yes." Zac nods decisively. "So... don't tire yourself out. Because there is a horror movie marathon on at the cinemas and I am excited."

She smirks, wondering whether he still hides his face at the gory bits. "That sounds amazing." She grins. "I'll call you when I'm done here. I-"

"Boss!" They both turn around to see Dutchy jogging towards them, a wide smile on his face. "You made it." He catches sight of Zac and holds his hand out. "Oh, hi. Zac, right? I'm Dutchy. Dylan."

"Great to meet you." Zac shakes Dutchy's hand politely, taking half a step backwards, but Dutchy interjects before Zac can say his goodbyes.

"You coming to have a beer with us?" Dutchy grins, clapping a hand on Zac's back. "Got plenty of cold ones ready to go. And of course wine for you, Ma'am."

"Oh, Zac was just-" Kate jabs a thumb lamely over her shoulder, but Dutchy is already moving in the direction of the esky and plainly not prepared to accept any refusals. Throwing a pained and helpless expression towards Zac, she shrugs and allows them to be lead across the park towards the rest of the crew.

He's mobbed almost immediately, the crew gathering around him in their standard blatant curiosity, so that for a moment Zac is hidden out of her sight. She throws her hands up in the air in exasperation at their distinctly childish antics, but can't stop the smile that grows as she notices that Charge, 2Dads and Dutchy have all made movements to get Zac a beer.

"I think you've lost him for the time being." Annika muses, watching the scene from her camping chair, her youngest son curled up on her lap. She smiles softly, and reaches over for one of the plastic wine glasses she had beside her. "Wine, Ma'am?"

* * *

"So, what are your plans, Zac?" Dutchy asks, taking a swig of his beer as he peers intently at Zac. "You seem to be sticking around here for a while?"

"Oh, a bit of this. A bit of that." Zac takes a swig of his own drink, throwing a quick glance in Kate's direction before turning back to Dutchy. "I'm planning a trip to Haiti at the end of the year."

"Oh really?" Zac has the feeling that Dutchy is less interested, more fishing for dirt. "What for?"

If Zac detects Dutchy's tone, he says nothing about it, smiling warmly. "Well, mainly to help building infrastructure, get schools up and running. But also delivering vaccines and medical treatment. Dengue and malaria have been fairly prevalent there and..." He shrugs. "Well, whatever I can do to help."

"So you'll be off soon enough?" Dutchy summises, and Zac follows his gaze, watching as he glances at Kate once more. "You planning on coming back?"

Zac shuffles a little closer. This time, he makes it clear that he has seen the way Dutchy's eyes keep darting back to his boss. "Have you got a problem with me?"

Dutchy has the good grace to look a little taken aback at Zac's blunt words, however he doesn't back down. Instead, Dutchy takes another swig, making it a point to keep his voice light and casual. "I just wonder whether you spending so much time with Kate now is really the best idea."

"Well..." Zac takes another gulp of his beer. "I'm sure you know Kate can look after herself."

"But she shouldn't have to." Dutchy interjects. "And if you're going to jerk her around, you'll have us to answer to."

Zac steps a little closer. "I certainly don't intend to jerk her around." He smiles once more. "Actually, I'm hoping she'll come with me."

"She won't leave _Hammersley."_ Dutchy mutters, and he is not as successful at keeping the anger from his words.

"We'll see." Zac shrugs. "But like I said, she can look after herself." He turns to leave, but spins around at the last minute. "Thanks for the beer."

* * *

Kate pauses mid-sentence in a discussion about life on a frigate with Bird, her gaze catching on Zac. As she falters, he doesn't look back, quickening his strides until he's very soon out of sight. Kate turns to see if anyone else had noticed, and doesn't have to look long to notice that Dutchy is staring guiltily after him. "Excuse me." Kate murmurs, barely listening to the reply as she rises from her spot and makes her way towards Dutchy.

"What did you say to him?" Kate demands without preamble, her voice low and dangerous.

Dutchy flinches as though she's brandished a gun; he was still so intent on watching the spot where Zac disappeared from that he hadn't seen Kate coming. "I... I..."

"He's just stormed off after talking to you! Obviously you _weren't _intent on playing nice after all." Kate drains her wine in one gulp and drops it carelessly into Dutchy's long-since abandoned camping chair. "Why are you so against him? He's a good guy!"

"Ma'am..." Dutchy hesitates for a moment. "I... all I said was that he'd better not hurt you. But... there's something off about him. Surely you can see that!" Kate scoffs and turns away, but Dutchy keeps talking. "It's just... you're letting him into your house, letting him drive your car and use your computer and-"

"Dutchy, I... I trust him, okay? And... and it's none of your business." She takes a deep breath. "And I don't need you to warn anyone off of me. That's part of the reason we-" But she sucks in another breath and stops. When she speaks again, her voice is quieter than ever, so that Dutchy has to move closer to hear her. "Look, growing up, my home life wasn't exactly..." But once again, she doesn't seem to be able to find the right word. For a moment, her hand flails, as though she might be able to catch it with enough effort. Then it falls limply to her side. "Look, Zac was always there for me. Always. Whether it was me needing food so I wasn't going hungry or... or help cleaning wounds or just a safe place to stay when I couldn't go home, he... he was always there. And... and I don't need you or anyone else telling me what kind of a guy Zac is. I know him."

"Okay." Dutchy holds his hands up. "But as a friend-"

"You know what?" Kate interjects, shouldering her bag. "I've tried talking to you _as a friend, _and you don't seem to get it. So, _Petty Officer,_ I'll say it once more. Back. Off."


	5. Chapter 5

The blood is still thumping in her ears as she stalks towards the park exit. She's sick of it - sick of the crew treating her as though she was their thirteen-year-old sister with her first love, oblivious and optimistic to the point of blindness. How dare they? Dutchy's face swims before her eyes, and she mentally corrects herself. How dare _he_?

She aims a kick at a stray rock on the path ahead, sending it skittering out of sight. It does nothing to alleviate her anger.

_As a friend. _As though a friend would interfere this severely. As if a friend would potentially ruin everything.

She needs to find Zac. All she cares about is finding Zac, and she refuses to look back as she makes her way up the path and towards the gate. But as she reaches the exit to the park and the traffic beyond, Zac is nowhere to be seen.

"Shit." She mutters under her breath, walking more slowly towards the city centre. She digs out her phone, but she's not surprised when Zac's number goes straight to voicemail. "Zac?" She pleads, biting her lip as she turns up and down the street, searching in vain for him. "Zac, please call me."

* * *

"Well, for once it looks as though it won't be 2Dads scrubbing the heads this patrol." Charge muses, clapping Dutchy on the back and flashing him a look halfway between sympathy and incredulity. "I mean, you really put your foot in it this time."

Dutchy doesn't answer immediately, taking another gulp of his beer, his eyes downcast. But he's unable to hold his feelings in for very long as he suddenly shakes his head. "But it's ridiculous, isn't it? I mean, she barely knows him and-"

"Hey, crazier things have happened." It's not quite a warning look Charge flashes his way, but there is an element of caution all the same, and when he speaks again his voice is lower and much more serious than Dutchy is used to. "Come on, Mate. You know the boss. I mean, she's a hell of a woman, but you meddle in her life and she will light a firecracker up you."

"I'm not meddling!" Dutchy protests, throwing a hand up in frustration. "I'm just trying to point out-"

But Charge interrupts once more, and this time his tone is more forceful still. "You know that if you turn this into a push and pull, you're not going to win." Silence falls between them for a moment as Charge twists slightly to look him straight in the eye. "Look, she's a strong, stubborn woman. And... and I don't exactly know what their history is but she's not the type to just marry anyone and she obviously trusts him."

"She's not the type to just _divorce_ anyone either." Dutchy points out stubbornly, not yet willing to drop this argument. After all, he'd been employed to look out for her, and whether she was his XO or not, he was still intent on doing just that. "Obviously it was something big. I mean, she's not the type to just walk away. How do we know what this guy's story is?"

"It's not our place to know, Dutch."

"Oh, come _on_!" Dutchy rolls his eyes. "You can't honestly tell me you're happy to see her heartbroken again. She has _terrible _taste in guys."

"Dutchy-"

"I just can't believe that you're okay with this! I mean, you've known Kate for years and she's never mentioned this guy. And then he just shows up? And you're fine with that?"

There's silence between the two of them for a moment before Charge speaks again. "Look, no part of me wants to see her get hurt. But... she's happy. And she's not going to throw away that happiness just because you don't like the guy." Charge glances around the park for a moment, but the rest of the crew are absorbed in watching a soccer game between several sailors and Annika's kids. "Mate, you and the boss..." He hesitates for a moment, before lowering his voice still quieter. "Are your reasons for not liking this guy as innocent as you're making out?"

"And just what's that supposed to mean?!" Dutchy feels himself fire up at once, half-rising to his feet. Charge quickly holds out an arm to still him.

"You know what it means, Mate." Charge settles on, smiling sadly at him. "Just think about it, okay?"

Dutchy opens his mouth to respond without really knowing what he is about to say. Vague protests are mixing in with even vaguer thoughts, but a moment later 2Dads lets out a heavy sigh, flopping into an empty seat beside them and effectively putting an end to the conversation. "Geez, those damn kids have a lot of energy." He pants, tipping his head back and closing his eyes for a moment. "I am exhausted."

One of Annika's kids call out, _"You can't catch me, Leo!"_ But 2Dads just waves a hand in lazy surrender and leans forwards to tug a beer from the esky.

"So, what'd I miss?" He looks around at the people milling. "Where's the boss? Don't tell me she left already?"

Dutchy and Charge exchange a quick look before Dutchy forces himself to shrug nonchalantly. "Yeah, she said she had some errands to run or something."

"Yeah, fair enough." 2Dads, thankfully, seems to accept the answer. "I swear I've met that guy before, though."

"Who? Zac?" Dutchy enquires, suddenly interested in the conversation again.

"Yeah." 2Dads confirms, taking a gulp of drink and sighing in a satisfied way. "He just seems so familiar. I swear I've met him. But he didn't seem to recognise me."

"Where do you think-" Dutchy begins, but Charge clears his throat pointedly, and Dutchy quietens.

"He seems nice enough anyway." 2Dads shrugs, before turning to him. "Hey, Dutch! I thought we were going to meet your girl today?"

Dutchy's face darkens and he too leans forwards to retrieve a fresh beer from the esky. "Yeah, well..." He forces another shrug. "That's all over." At Charge's less-than-surprised expression, he uncaps his drink and tosses the bottle cap into a nearby bag. "When does the Navy and relationships ever work out, anyway?"

* * *

Kate drops her phone to the lounge once more, not even bothering to leave a message this time. The events of the day have compounded into a throbbing headache, and her gut is churning with worry about Zac.

Does she have any right to feel this upset? After all, their marriage was over, long over. And this was...

Was what?

Just a weekend. One beautiful night, and a day, and then a thousand texts and promises.

And this. The loneliness. The emptiness of a house was bringing up too many memories of the past she doesn't want to relive.

She's always hated being alone.

As if on cue, there's a sudden clattering of keys in the lock, catching her attention instantly. She sits up immediately, relief washing over her as she catches sight of him. But he avoids her gaze as he shuffles in and sets his keys and phone on the benchtop.

Muting the television, she waits, and a moment later he sits himself on the lounge next to her. He doesn't speak though, and after a few more moments of silence Kate feels her frustration grow. "I called." She points out, unable to keep the accusatory tone from her words. "I left messages."

"I know." Zac agrees quietly. The ticking of the clock is suddenly deafening. And she hates how the silence and the weight of unsaid words are pressing in on her.

"Zac, I don't care what they think! Dutchy had no right to meddle."

"They're worried about you. I shouldn't have..." Zac trails off, raking a hand through his hair, before turning to Kate, looking ashamed. "I'm sorry."

"It's him that should be apologising." Kate grumbles, hugging one of the lounge pillows tightly in her arms. "Where have you been?"

"Just around." Zac shrugs, his gaze on his feet once more. He shifts slightly, still avoiding her gaze. After even more time filled with the too-loud ticking of the clock, Kate rolls her eyes.

"I'm going to bed." She mutters, stalking towards the stairs.

"Kate?!" Zac calls after her.

"I ran after you, Zac!" Kate whips back around, her voice growing louder. "I did my block at Dutchy and I ran after you! I've been calling you and leaving messages and I'm trying to tell you that I don't care and _you_ don't want to talk, so I'm going to bed."

She has one foot on the step when Zac calls out again. "Kate! I'm... I'm sorry." She stops, but doesn't turn around until he speaks again. "I shouldn't have let it get to me, but it did. And then I felt like shit for causing a scene with your crew and I... I've just been walking around trying to clear my head."

She softens instantly, and when she next speaks her voice has returned to its normal volume."But you've got to know that he was wrong." Kate presses, pressing a hand to his cheek. "He had no right to say those things."

"But they're things you're thinking, Kate." He shakes his head, though he doesn't pull away, and Kate takes that as a positive sign. "He said you'd never leave _Hammersley._"

"He doesn't know me as well as he likes to think he does." Kate mutters. "But you can't just run off whenever someone doesn't approve."

"I'm sorry." He repeats. "I was being ridiculous. But I get it. And... in a way I'm glad they're so protective. They just don't want to see you hurt, Kate."

Kate nods soberly for a moment before shrugging. "Well, I guess it's a good thing you're not going to hurt me."


	6. Chapter 6

"You know you _can _go out and spend time with your crew. You don't have to keep hanging out with me." Zac points out, turning the volume on the TV down a few times, quietening the exaggerated on-stage screaming.

"There is nowhere I'd rather be but here, watching _The Exorcist _with you." Kate replies, her eyes not wavering from the screen as she turns the volume back up again. "Oi!" She protests as a handful of popcorn lands on her head. "What was that for?"

"You are such a horror junkie." He laughs, tossing another few pieces at her. "You've barely moved the whole movie."

"Well, I haven't seen it since we all went to the drive ins after you got your licence." Kate defends herself, brushing popcorn from her hair before tossing a piece back at him. "Fee fainted and Max was hiding behind his hands the whole time. Remember?"

"Pfft. Your eyes barely flickered from the screen. I'm surprised you even noticed."

"They never really wanted to come to the movies with us after that." Kate tips her head in mock puzzlement. "I always wondered why."

"Nah. It was just that we were too cool." Zac tells her, the last word turning into a laugh as Kate resettles herself on the lounge, laying her feet across Zac's lap. He holds his hands up for a moment in mock exasperation, muttering, "By all means..." before he breaks into a laugh again.

"Hey, you threw popcorn in my hair." Kate grins. "And I just washed it too. So you became my footrest."

"Hmm..." Zac pretends to ponder this for a moment, before suddenly lunging across the lounge. Kate lets out a shriek of laughter as he traps her with a hand, his mouth impossibly close to hers. "What if I show you how very sorry I am?" He murmurs, his voice low.

Kate rolls her eyes before adopting a cheeky expression. "Nah. Rather just watch _The Exorci-_" Her words are stifled by laughter as Zac's hands suddenly attack, tickling every inch of her she could reach. She shouts aloud, squirming and flailing in an attempt to escape, her laughter echoing off the walls. Zac lifts one hand and she manages to roll away, still laughing as she runs towards the stairs.

"Do you want to take that back!?" Zac shouts, arms held wide as he chases after her. Kate squeals, only six or seven steps up, and recklessly vaults the banister, landing catlike on the ground below.

"No! I give in! _Strawberry_!" Kate's words are once again drowned by laughter as he catches her, but at mention of 'strawberry' he ceases the tickling in favour of pressing his lips to hers. Kate responds in earnest, allowing him to walk her backwards until her back hits the wall.

"Only because you used the safeword." He whispers into her ear. His hands are playing with the hem of her shirt when there's a loud knock at the doorbell and they both pull apart.

"Ignore it?" Zac almost pleads, teeth shaving her collarbone.

"Can't." Kate mumbles, and gently pulling away, she straightens her clothes before heading towards the door, pulling it open to reveal none other than Dutchy.

"Hi." He murmurs, tentatively peering behind her and catching sight of Zac. "Uh... I was wondering if you had a minute."

Kate says nothing, but steps aside so that Dutchy can pass. Zac nods pleasantly in his direction, before jabbing a thumb at the stairs. "I'll be up-"

"No, I actually wanted to talk to you as well, if you have a sec." Dutchy interjects, his voice strong. Zac exchanges a glance with Kate, who instinctively moves to stand next to him, before nodding again.

"Yeah, sure." A loud shriek interrupts the three of them, and they all turn to glance at the TV. "Oops. You caught us in the middle of a gore marathon." Zac lifts up the remote and pauses the movie before turning back to Dutchy.

Dutchy looks between the two of them once more before turning his attention to Zac. "I just wanted to apologise for what I said. It was... it was out of line, and I'm really sorry I upset you." He turns his gaze to Kate. "And I'm sorry I interfered."

Kate sucks in her breath, but Zac steps forward and holds out a hand. "All forgotten, Mate. No hard feelings." Dutchy looks relieved as he takes Zac's proffered hand and shakes, before turning to Kate.

For a moment she stands, silently staring him down. And then she nods and forces a smile. "Like Zac said, no hard feelings."

Dutchy seems as though a weight has been lifted from his shoulders as a smile splits his face. Zac grins too. "Really, I know I got mad, but I'm glad Kit has people looking out for her."

"You act like I walk around in traffic with my eyes closed!" Kate scoffs.

"Hey, if the shoe fits." Zac grins, before turning back to Dutchy. "But thanks for coming around and saying that. I know it can't have been easy. And for what it's worth, I'm sorry I took it so personally. You were just trying to look out for a mate."

Dutchy nods in appreciation, before jabbing a thumb over his shoulder. "Well, I'd better let you get back to your movie. Ma'am, I'll see you on patrol."

"See you then." Kate agrees, and the three of them walk towards the door. Zac has barely closed the front door behind Dutchy when he turns to face Kate and raises an eyebrow at her.

"So... should we pick up where we left off?"

* * *

"_Oh baby baby! How was I supposed to know? That something wasn't riiiiiight here?" _Kate let out a groan as consciousness was thrust unceremoniously upon her in the form of 2Dads singing through the intercom. Resisting the urge to scream, Kate gives herself a moment to cover her face with the pillow in an attempt to drown out some of his words. "_Oh baby, baby, I shouldn't have let you go. And now you're out of sight, yeah."_

"Bloody 2Dads." Kate mutters under her breath.

_"Shooooow me how want it toooo beeee. __Tell me, baaaaaaaaby, 'cause I need to knoooow now."_

She glances at the mobile phone on the edge of her bed and, upon seeing she still has two bars of reception, shoots a quick message to Zac. _**And apparently the wake up song of the day is Britney Spears 'One More Time'. Is it too late to flee with you :D **_

Kate gets up and dresses as 2Dads continues to sing; in all fairness, Kate thought the word 'sing' was probably too generous, but she was at a loss as to what else to call it. By the time she has laced her boots, her phone beeps with a reply. _**Say the word and I'll parachute in GI Joe style and save you ;) **_Smirking, she stowed her phone in the drawer and arrived on the bridge just as 2Dads was finishing the final chorus. "That..." She begins as 2Dads lets the final note stretch out before finally, mercifully, falling silent. "...was probably the worst wake song up of my life."

2Dads doesn't look hurt. On the contrary, his cheeky grin grows as he forces a shrug. "Oh, well, Ma'am. Just keeping morale up. You know." He gestures towards the mic. "I mean, you're more than welcome to give it your best go if you think you can top it."

Kate doesn't look up from the radar, a smile twitching at the corners of her mouth. "If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times, 2Dads. It'll take more than that to get me behind a microphone."

"Oh, come on Boss!" 2Dads grins. "I bet you've done plenty a night of karaoke."

"Noooo." Kate holds a hand up. "You guys already know _way _too much about my private life, thank _you_. Anything of note?"

"Nothing." 2Dads flops back into his chair and takes a swig of a mug of coffee. "The horizon has been as bare as-"

"Stop." Kate interjects swiftly. "Think. Evaluate."

2Dads falls silent for a moment, then voices, "Is 'as bare as Britney Spears' head' in bad taste?"

"Yes." Mutters Annika as she too entered the bridge, Bird not far behind. "And that is a worse sound than my kids' best tantrums all mashed together. Coffee, Ma'am?"

"Cheers." Kate takes the beverage gratefully, reaching over and scooping up some of the paperwork she had to review. "You're a lifesaver, X."

The morning was uneventful, the only vessel on radar a coastal trader. By the time it was mid-afternoon, the crew were near hyper with pent up energy, and Kate permitted Dutchy to engage several of the junior sailors in a hand-to-hand combat class.

"You joining us, Boss?" 2Dads quips, paying for his distraction as Dutchy sweeps him easily to his feet. "Ouch! Gentle, Dutch!"

"You hesitate, you die!" Dutchy says unapologetically, turning to Kate. "This is your one chance to kick 2Dads' arse, Ma'am."

A moment later the intercom breaks out, and Kate looks up. "CO to the bridge. CO to the bridge."

"Saved by the bell." Kate grins.

"I could have taken you." 2Dads murmurs back.

"Keep telling yourself that." Kate mutters under her breath as she makes her way back to the bridge.


	7. Chapter 7

"Ugh!" Kate can't help but let out a groan as she closes her front door, taking a moment to lean heavily against it before moving onward. "You would not believe the patrol I have had." She makes her way into the kitchen, depositing her handbag on the kitchen bench and moving towards the stairs. "I mean, I think we actually intercepted a modern day Romeo and Juliet. Two kids convinced the only solution to their love was to run away." Kate lets out a dry sniff as she reaches the top of the stairs. "Better than poison, I guess." Her only response is the slight shuffling of feet, but she's not surprised. After all, Zac had pretty much lived plugged into his walkman whenever he was alone.

She moves into the bedroom, expecting to be greeted by the sight of him. Instead, the room is empty. "Zac?" Kate calls out.

She doesn't see it coming. One moment she is hovering, about to drop her sea bag on the end of the bed. The next, she was knocked hard into the opposite wall, hip smacking hard into the plaster, her head following immediately after.

A blinding, sickening pain fills her head and she blinks, trying desperately to regain some sense of understanding. She barely has time to glance wildly over a shoulder before a hand wraps around her throat, and the situation becomes terrifyingly real.

Intruder.

Danger.

Can't breathe.

Hot breath tickles her ear and she can barely breathe, let alone try to formulate an escape. All her training leaves her body as she stands, paralysed with fear. Her lungs are choking, desperate for oxygen. She tries to yell, but can't articulate a sound. And then...

"Tell your boyfriend he messed with the wrong guy." God, his voice is like ice, sending shivers down her spine, and she might just die here while a dark shape squeezes her throat. She's desperate for oxygen, her lungs trying in vain to expand, her heart hammering in her head. She can barely comprehend his words. Panic is the only thing she understands.

Just as her vision begins to fade...

Release. Sweet oxygen, and Kate crumples to the ground like a puppet with its strings cut, coughing and rasping as the footsteps fade away.

* * *

"I told you! I'm fine." Kate says for what feels like the millionth time, closing her eyes for a moment and breathing in the cool evening air before turning to glare at Dutchy once more.

"You keep saying that but you're still white as a ghost." Dutchy counters, pushing the glass of water closer to her. "Made a mess of your neck too."

Kate says nothing, taking a sip obediently, even though one hand snakes unconsciously to finger the bruised skin of her neck. But she's alive. She's safe and she's free and she can _breathe, _and she digs her fingernails into her thighs because there's _no reason _to be scared.

There's a movement and she flinches, a move that doesn't go unnoticed by either Dutchy nor the suddenly appeared Charge. He holds his hands up in a half-hearted position of surrender, and when he moves again his actions are slower and more deliberate. "Whoever it was, they've definitely gone." He mutters, jabbing a thumb towards the house. "Someone smashed a hole in your back door. Looks like they got in that way anyway." He tips his head to get a better look at her, and there's a knowing and piteous look in his gaze that she hates. "You alright?"

"Yeah." Kate murmurs without any real thought, even though she's unable to rid her head of that pounding terror still coursing through her veins. Someone had been in her house. Someone had tried to kill her.

"There's a spare room at mine if you want." Charge continues, his face uncharacteristically serious. "Not the _Ritz_ by any means but... well, you shouldn't be here alone tonight."

"I'm _fine._" Kate repeats, regretting calling for help in the first place. It had been terror - blind terror - that had sent her fingers flying to her phone. "Look, Zac will be home any moment."

Dutchy makes a noise she can't _quite _pin down the meaning of. As she turns to face him however, his expression is impassive. "I really think you should call the cops-"

"No!" _Tell your boyfriend he messed with the wrong guy. _She pushes herself to her feet, her expression serious. "Look, I'm okay. It just... it gave me a bit of a shock. But honestly, I feel fine." She wonders whether the word will soon lose all meaning.

More footsteps, and 2Dads appears, he too with an uncharacteristically grave expression. "Nothing seems to be damaged or missing. You must have caught them in the act or something."

"Sorry?" Kate frowns.

"Of burgling you." 2Dads continues, as though it's the most obvious thing in the world. "You must have caught them in the act."

"Oh. Right..." Kate nods without contradicting him. "Look, I'm grateful for you three coming, but I promise you I'm-"

The four of them throw hands in front of their eyes instinctively as a taxi's headlights arc over them. A moment later Zac gets out, moving quickly towards them. "What's going on?"

"I-" Kate begins.

"Someone broke in and attacked the Boss." 2Dads cuts in before Kate can explain. She closes her eyes for a moment; of course he'd found the most blunt way to put things.

Predictably, Zac's eyes boggle. "What?!"

"Look, I'm okay." Kate interjects before he can work himself into a fuss. "I just got a fright and I couldn't reach you so I called Dutchy. And then Charge and 2Dads came too."

"Well are you okay? You..." He freezes as he catches sight of Kate's neck. "Shit."

"I'm fine!" She all but shouts the word, folding her arms across her chest. "Look, I just... I just want to go to bed."

Zac nods gravely before turning to the three other men. Under cover of Zac thanking them all and shaking their hands, Kate shoves her own shaking fingers deep into her pockets.

* * *

She doesn't sleep well, her mind turning over with swirling memories. She feels as though there's not enough oxygen in the room, each breath shallower and shallower than the last as her brain ticks over scenario after scenario.

"Kate?" Zac mumbles, shifting in the bed and wrapping an arm around her waist. "You're still awake?"

His arm is constricting. She squirms and, after a moment, leans down and throws it off. "He was after you." Her voice is barely more than a whisper, the words out in the universe before she can stuff them back.

"What?"

But the words are out there now, and now she's here they keep tumbling from her mouth. "He said to tell you he messed with the wrong guy." Kate presses, and it's easier in the dark to hide her still-shaking frame. "What are you involved in, Zac?"

"Kate-"

"Someone broke into my house and strangled me." Kate's voice cracks on the last syllable. For the longest time, there's only silence. Silence pressing in on her. Silence and darkness where people can hide.

Zac swallows heavily. "No one is going to hurt you again." He murmurs. "Kate, I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

It isn't until hours later that she realises he never answered her question.

* * *

"You think it's his fault?" Charge's question cuts through Dutchy's thoughts, snapping him back to earth as heavily as if he'd been hit.

"I didn't say that." Dutchy murmurs evasively, taking a swig of his beer and avoiding Charge's gaze.

"I know." Charge agrees. "You were... not saying it... very loudly." His gaze is unavoidable, and it's only a matter of time before Dutchy feels his resolve break.

"I'm sorry, but if you're busted on a break in, you get the hell out as quickly as possible. You don't assault a lady. And strangling her? That's... that's not random. That's personal."

"I agree with you."

"I mean, if she'd-" Dutchy freezes as he registers what Charge has said. "What?"

"I think you're right. I've known her long enough to know when she's not telling me something."

"So you think she knew the guy?" He lowers his beer to the table. "Shit, you don't think _he _attacked her?"

"I don't know, mate." Charge shrugs. "No. I don't think so. He seemed really concerned."

"So-" Dutchy begins, but he cuts himself off as 2Dads approaches, carrying three drinks. "Cheers, mate." Dutchy murmurs, to cover up for the awkward silence.

"What a night, eh?" 2Dads muses.

"What a night." Dutchy agrees, sipping his beer once more.


	8. Chapter 8

Kate fingers the skin of her neck as she peers critically at her reflection. The bruising has faded slightly, now a patchwork of ugly yellows and greys rather than the vivid purples and blacks it had been several days ago. She heaves a heavy sigh and digs around into her bag for a moment, before retrieving a tube of cream. Dabbing some onto a finger, she smooths some under her eyes, desperate to remove the heavy bags that are lining her face.

It's not shame at her appearance exactly that drives this routine. No. It's a need for control. Or at least, for her crew to _think _that she was in control. For them to think anything otherwise would be catastrophic. No. She needed them to believe she was okay. And so she dutifully applies her makeup, desperate for some semblance of normality.

"Hey." Zac's voice pulls her from her reverie and she flinches, very nearly poking herself in the eye. Zac curses. "Shit. Sorry. I tried to announce myself."

"Not your fault." Kate murmurs, catching sight of his reflection in the mirror and forcing herself to get a grip.

"You're still not sleeping?" Zac presses, moving closer to her and trailing a hand lightly down her back.

She forces a smile she's not quite feeling and twists to face him. She's sick of jumping at shadows, of flinching at every branch that scratches at the window, or every beep of the microwave. But she doesn't want to get into that with Zac, and so she shrugs her shoulders in what she hopes is a nonchalant way and forces a smile. "Not with your snoring." She quips, and she's relieved when he smiles back. She's in no mood to dissect the reasons for her sleepless nights, has no inclination to relive those few moments of pure terror.

"Cheek." Zac snorts with laughter, bumping her lightly with an elbow, and she's relieved as the subject of her sleepless nights is apparently dropped. "Bloody stubborn, you are." He grins at her, before his eyes dart up and down her clothing choices. "So, what's the go for today? You don't sail until tomorrow?"

"I'm on duty watch this forenoon." Kate murmurs, beginning to button up her DPNU shirt.

"And for people that _don't _speak Navy that means..."

Kate rolls her eyes at his tone. "8am to midday." The words feel foreign on her tongue.

"Ah," Zac grins, raising a finger as though he's just had an epiphany. "So _that's_ why you're up at this ungodly hour."

"Hey, some of us need to work. And 'ungodly'? It's 0710. _And _you were already up." Already she can feel herself returning to normal - Zac's mere presence calming her. She scoops her dog tags from the dressing table and tugs them over her head.

"Maybe we could do lunch?" Zac suggests, flopping back down onto the bed and stretching luxuriously.

"I'll just have to duck into NAVCOM to check some stuff but after that? I can call when I'm free?"

"It's a date." Zac agrees, and despite her earlier apprehension, she feels the last of the tension leave her. She was fine.

* * *

"Hey Boss!" 2Dads' familiar goofy smile is firmly in place as she makes her way onto the bridge. She'd expected to find him in one of the chairs, perhaps making _pew pew _noises as he pretended to be a sci-fi fighter, or else singing _In The Navy _or some other equally cliched and terrible song. She's not prepared for him to be sitting cross-legged on the ground, dealing out cards from a deck he seemed to have made from paper and may just have been coloured in by a five year old.

"Really?" She asked, stifling a laugh. He looked up, clutching the 'cards' closer to him.

"I had to replace mine!" He defends, his voice so distinctly childish in that moment that the corners of her mouth twitch. "Someone's pinched them again. I think it was Bird."

"And just what did you do to her to warrant payback?" Kate frowns, crossing her arms along her chest.

"Who says it was justified payback?" 2Dads protests, flashing her a look of unconvincing honesty. When Kate fails to look away he caves. "She's so gullible! I didn't think she'd actually believe me."

"Do I want to know?" Kate asks wearily, returning her gaze to the console in front of her as she flops into one of the chairs.

"Probably not." 2Dads concedes, flashing her a cheeky smile before turning back to his handmade cards. Kate follows his gaze and barely suppresses a laugh as she sees the badly-drawn King of Hearts he's currently holding, identifiable only by the 'K' in the corner.

"Tell you what," She begins, feeling generous, "in my top drawer there's a deck of cards. Grab them."

"Really Ma'am?"

"Either that or enrol in some art classes." Kate quips, nodding towards the paper cards. 2Dads makes to stand up, but whips around a moment later and frowns. "What?" Kate presses.

"Does Zac have anything to do with art?"

"What?" Kate frowns at the bizarre question. "No. He can barely manage a stick figure. Why?"

"Huh." 2Dads flashes her a puzzled look before shaking his head. "I just... I swear I've met him before."

Kate barely suppresses a dry laugh. "And you thought art?"

2Dads waves away the thought with a flourish of the hand. "Eh, my parents were always buying super expensive paintings and stuff. Maybe he just reminds me of one of the sellers. Must be the way he talks."

"What do you mean?" Kate presses, her voice stopping 2Dads in his tracks as he makes to move below deck once more.

"Well..." 2Dads' brow furrows for a moment as though trying to put the thought into words. "I just mean, he's very... what's the word? Like... suave and convincing. He'd be able to sell anything. He's just got... well, he's got that confident speaking voice, hasn't he? He's convincing. Persuading." Something in Kate's face must cause 2Dads to hesitate, and he shakes his head, voice gaining volume once more as he hastens to add, "I mean, in a good way. He's just a guy you can't help liking." He leans against the bulkhead as though pondering something else, before asking in a rush, "Why'd you never change your name?"

"Ha." Kate lets out a dry laugh and rolls her eyes, sinking deeper into the chair. "His last name is Tate."

"So?" 2Dads frowns, then mouths the name. "Oooohhh." A wicked grin adorns his face. "Yeah. Kate Tate is pretty tragic."

"My thoughts exactly." Kate agrees. "Now go grab the cards. And prepare to be defeated."

2Dads' grin spreads across his face. "We playing for matchsticks then?" He grins.

Kate raises an eyebrow. "No gambling on the ship." She recites back as he dashes below deck.

* * *

"So, did your parents like him?" 2Dads enquires as he shifts the cards in his hand, peering over them to gauge her reaction. She's joined him in his spot on the ground, the factory-made cards a little beaten around the edges - she's sure she's had this deck since high school at least - but infinitely better than 2Dads' own handmade versions.

Kate rolls her eyes as she moves several matchsticks into the middle of them, where they'd been piling their bets. "Is this a poor attempt at a distraction technique?"

"That and sheer curiosity." 2Dads admits, examining the expressions on Kate's face. "So?"

"Mum hated him from the start." Kate keeps her expression impassive, turning her gaze back to the cards. "But she hated most things about me so it didn't really factor into my decision making. Your turn."

2Dads doesn't move at first, his face showing a mixture of pure delight at the exciting news, confusion and... is it pity? "So you ran off with the guy and eloped?"

"You make it sound so cheap and tawdry." Kate mutters, shuffling her cards once more before quavering under the look 2Dads gives her. "But essentially, yes."

2Dads chews on his lip for a moment before huffing and folding his cards in front of him. Kate grins and drags the pile of matchsticks towards her. "So you've known him for a while then?"

"I've known him since I was about fourteen. Aaaand..." She thinks for a moment, "...we got together just before we finished high school."

2Dads nods and glances at his watch for a moment before smiling. "Well, for what it's worth, he seems like a decent guy."

"Yeah, he is." Kate agrees, and although she's grateful for 2Dads' apparent support of her relationship, she's far from comfortable talking to him about it. "Uh... so how are you finding all the information I sent you?"

His smile falters slightly as he grimaces. "Some of it is interesting..." He begins evasively.

"And some of it you need to stick toothpicks in your eyes to stay awake?" Kate finishes tentatively.

"Basically." 2Dads agrees. "But... it's helping. So thanks."

"No problem." Kate nods. "And... if you need any help or anything, I'm only a phone call away."

Footsteps make them both look up and they both spy Charge wandering up onto the bridge, closely followed by Bird. He raises an eyebrow at them both sitting cross-legged opposite each other, cards abandoned between them. "Poker party, is it?" He quips cheekily, nodding at them. "Let me guess? She beat you?"

2Dads scoops the deck of cards into the packet and otherwise refuses to answer. Kate snickers. "What are these?" Bird laughs as she picks up 2Dads' abandoned, homemade paper cards.

Charge crosses his arms and tuts in a mocking way. "Children, I hope you're going to tidy up your toys before you leave the bridge. Go on! Watch is over!"

"We _have _been working." 2Dads defends.

"Sure looks like it." Bird grins.

"Such cheek!" 2Dads scoffs, turning to face Kate once more. "I think we should take our business elsewhere."

"I agree!" Kate laughs, scooping up her bag. "Have fun!"

* * *

The meeting at NAVCOM takes less time than she'd feared, and she's out just after 1230 hours. The weather outside is warm, and she soon ditches her DPNU long sleeve, draping it over her bag and slotting her sunglasses over her eyes before making her way towards the city centre. One hand absently fingers her phone, pulling up Zac's number and dialling as she ducks out of the way of a woman with a pram.

She gets Zac's voicemail and pulls a face, but leaves a message explaining that she's finished her watch and is free to meet, before hanging up and making her meandering way towards the shops and restaurants. There's no point going home; not if she's going to meet Zac anyway, and besides, the breeze from the water and the warmth of the sun mean she's loathe to lock herself away indoors.

Finding herself outside the pub, she enters and orders herself a wine. The place is relatively quiet; after all it's a weekday and most people are at work or uni. She takes a seat in a quiet corner outside and pulls out her phone, pulling up her Kindle app and settling herself into reading an ebook she'd started a few days ago. It's predictable and corny, but even so she finds herself immersed in the tale, until a familiar voice catches her attention and she looks up to see none other than Zac chatting away with an unfamiliar face.

She is just about to interject when something in the way that they are talking catches her attention, and with a jolt, Kate realises that Zac is furious. His voice is too low for Kate to hear exactly what they're saying, but now that she's noticed, all she can take in is the way Zac is gesticulating wildly, and the glare on his face. Sinking lower into the chair, she feels that unease return to her, though she can't quite pinpoint why. And after all, is there any real sense in being suspicious. After all, she knew Zac, has known him since they were kids, and there could be a perfectly good reason as to why he is so angry with this man.

And then, abruptly, they seem to come to some kind of terse agreement, as Zac lowers his head and nods reluctantly, before taking a step back. The other man mutters something more before stalking out without a backwards glance, and Kate watches from the shadows as Zac balls his hands into fists.

And then, just as suddenly, something shifts, and Kate watches as Zac digs his phone out of his pocket and taps away. A moment later, her own phone buzzes and she glances down to see the message from him.

**_Sorry missed your call. Just got out of the world's most boring meeting. Meet up for lunch? xx_**


	9. Chapter 9

When Kate closes her front door this time, she immediately knows Zac is home. For one thing, music is blaring through her speakers, some low crooning singer with beautiful guitar medleys. For another, the delicious smell of barbecue chicken and fresh bread rolls is making her stomach growl.

"Zac?" She calls out, raising her voice to be heard above the music.

As she rounds the corner and spies the kitchen bench, half-hidden behind reusable shopping bags, and Zac leaning against it. "Hey!" He greets, shutting his laptop and beaming at her. "I messaged you?"

"Did you?" Kate frowns and pulls her phone out of her pocket, knowing full well what he is talking about. After all, she'd been the one to delete it and leave the pub without him noticing her. She pulls a face as she peers at the screen. "Nothing's come through."

"Huh." Zac's brow furrows for a moment before he shrugs. "Oh well, no matter, because I have lunch all ready to go. BBQ chook, bread rolls and salad? _And _a whole bloody jar of olives for you. You weirdo."

Kate can't help but laugh as he slides the jar over, despite her unease. "Don't call me weird! Olives are _amazing. You're_ the one that likes pineapple on pizza."

They make their rolls, bickering goodnaturedly all the way, before settling down on the lounge. "What's up?" Zac breaks the silence, tugging a bit of chicken skin off his drumstick and dropping it on Kate's plate. "You seem quiet."

"Oh, just... just thinking about the next patrol. We sail day after tomorrow." She begins to nibble on the chicken skin while Zac dives straight into his roll. "So... how was your meeting?"

"Urgh. Crazy." Zac takes a gulp of his water, before swiping at his upper lip with the back of his hand. "Ended up getting into an argument with the guy, actually." Kate looks up, astonished that he has admitted this outright. Zac seems to take her shocked expression differently because he hastens to add, "Just had a few words is all. He's driving me mad with all this red tape. So I kind of... yelled a bit... and then we sort of figured some stuff out. Meeting again with him soon and _hopefully _he can source these vaccines I'm after."

Relief washes over Kate, and she suddenly feels as though she could dance and sing. Of course there was no need to be worried. Of course there was a simple explanation. He'd always been stubborn, to the point of a little argumentative when it came to the things that were important to him. Hell, Kate can remember him tearing strips off a guy who had dared to catcall Fee when they were in high school, his logical explanations doused in irritation as he grew steadily more frustrated. But his heart was in the right place. It always was.

* * *

"How did we sit through this whole movie at the cinema?" Kate digs her hand into the bowl of popcorn and resists the urge to throw it at the television as a teenage girl screams theatrically on screen.

"Well, as I recall you jumped me about one-third of the movie in and we spent the rest of it making out." Zac shrugs, flashing a sideways look at Kate. _"Which,_ you know, I wouldn't be opposed to repeating."

Kate scoffs, and, as Zac jokingly puckers his lips and closes his eyes, she claps a popcorn-filled hand to his mouth. He coughs, spraying her and the lounge with popcorn. "It's... it's not bad enough, yet it's certainly not good." Her gaze returns to the TV.

"See, I don't buy this whole thing about things being so bad that they're good." Zac gestures towards the screen. "You always go on about how if a movie is so bad it suddenly gets good-"

"No, see, what I said was there are some things that are so bad that it's _fun _to watch, purely to mock it because it's so terrible. Case in point, _Popstar Puppy."_

Zac peers at her with a mixture of alarm and incredulity. "And what in the hell is _Popstar Puppy._"

"Look, something Fee and I ended up watching last time we caught up that is just... _terrible._" She says the last word as though it's the greatest compliment of all, before shifting back further into the lounge. "But _this _is just- _hey, _where are you going?"

"No, I have a solution!" Zac cries out, moving towards his laptop bag and extracting a bottle, before returning to the lounge, bouncing slightly. "All problems can be solved with tequila!"

Kate wrinkles her nose, and she can almost taste the liquid already despite Zac only just uncapping the bottle. "Gross, how can you even wave that in front of me?"

"Well, I wasn't the one that downed a whole bottle of it on my eighteenth. I don't think I have the same... _aversion_ to it as you do." His words turn to a laugh as Kate lets out an unintelligible whine as he wafts it in her direction.

"You're never going to let me live that one down, are you? So, _what_? I'm just chugging out of the bottle, am I?"

"Eh. Wouldn't be the first time." He winks, still holding the bottle out to her before standing up once more and sinking into a terrible bow, adopting a posh accent. "Of course, I could be convinced to retrieve my girl some salt and lemon if it makes her feel better."

Kate rolls her eyes and takes the bottle from him, pulling him back onto the lounge. "Urgh... I'm getting too old to pass out on floors."

"Who says anything about passing out?"

"Hey, you've got a bottle of tequila and a wicked look in your eye. I'm just building my own hypotheses."

"Hmm." Zac doffs an imaginary hat. "Because it seems as though you might just be expecting something to happen that would involve some furniture." His fingers dance up her leg.

Kate raises an eyebrow and, more to shut him up than anything else, takes a hearty swig from the bottle. She buries her shudder in the lounge cushion once more. "Oh, piss off." She mumbles, thrusting the bottle towards him. "Show me what you're made of."

"What I'm made of?" He grins, although his too turns into a shudder as the liquid burns his throat. "Wow that's strong!"

Kate's throat burns. "I'm having so many dazed flashbacks." She leans back against the lounge.

"Don't worry." Zac grins lazily at her once more and wraps an arm around her waist, pulling her towards him. "I'll hold your hair back."

* * *

2Dads curses once more and knocks even louder on the door before pressing his face closer to the glass, peering in. He can see nothing more than the closed laundry door. Should he go around the back? Her car is out the front, but there are no signs of life from within.

He picks up his phone once more, more to stall breaking in than anything else. However it rings out, and he can hear the muffled ringtone from within. "Boss!" He shouts, directing his face towards the window where he assumes her bedroom is. "Boss, are you there?"

There's a scraping of locks and the door finally opens, but as 2Dads takes in the person, he sees it's not the Boss. "Zac." He greets, suddenly feeling awkward at seeing the shirtless man at his Boss' house, scratching at his hip and looking so obviously _just _awake. "Uh... I'm looking for the boss - uh, I mean Kate. Is she in?"

Zac is squinting in the morning sun, raking a hand through his hair and sounds like he's half asleep when he speaks. "Oh, you're that guy. Uh... 2Bob?"

"2Dads." He corrects curtly, wondering whether he'd do better just to push past Zac all together. "Look, I really need to see Kate. I've been calling all morning. We've been crash sailed."

"Crap." Zac murmurs, peering behind him as though she could be hiding behind him. After another long pause he shrugs, jabbing a thumb randomly towards the rest of the house. "Uh, I'll go wake her. She's still asleep. Come in."

He leaves the door open for 2Dads to enter, and by the time 2Dads has reached the kitchen Zac has disappeared upstairs. He feels beyond awkward, hovering in his Boss' house, and even more so when he catches sight of the distinctly female t-shirt thrown carelessly on the floor and the empty bottle resting on the lounge, the TV still paused on whatever they must have been watching.

More for something to do, he glances at his watch again. They are scheduled to set sail in 20 minutes.

He has to resist the urge to clean, just for something to do. Dirty dishes are piled in the sink, and a bag of what looks like the bones of a Woolworths chicken sits on the benchtop, so distinctly _un-_Kate-McGregor-like. Just as he is thinking he'll wait outside, Zac heads downstairs tugging a t-shirt on. "She's jumped in the shower. You want a coffee?"

"No thanks. Uh, will she be long?"

Zac doesn't seem to hear him, reaching up into a cabinet above the stove and extracting a bottle of painkillers. He swallows two and sets another couple on the benchtop, turning the kettle on. They both stand in silence, the seconds ticking on on the clock. And yet again, 2Dads is unable to shake that feeling that he _knows _Zac from somewhere. "You didn't go to private school, did you?" He asks, more so to break the silence than anything else.

"Certainly not." Zac grins lopsidedly at him. "Why? Do I look like it?"

"No. Uh, I mean..." Zac raises an eyebrow and 2Dads curses even starting conversation in the first place. "I just feel like we've met before. Ah, not through the boss, I mean."

Zac shrugs. "It's funny, hearing Kit called _The Boss. _Thirteen-year-old-her would have been mad with power."

"But... I mean, did you ever play poker or-"

"Look, I'm sorry, but I don't recognise you and I certainly don't know you." Zac cuts across him curtly, before wincing. "Sorry." He mutters. "Kit says I get bitchy when I'm hungover." He lapses into silence once more, and the seconds ticking on the clock seem to be the only sound. 2Dads is about to call Dutchy and beg him to come and help when he hears feet slapping against tiles.

"Crap. Crap crap I'm so late." There's a clattering of footsteps on the stairs and a moment later Kate is standing before him in a singlet and jeans, a t-shirt in one hand and her boots in the other. Her hair is everywhere and 2Dads just spies the hairbrush and socks sticking out of the top of her bag. "Sorry, 2Dads. Sorry. I left my phone on silent and..." She turns to Zac. "Sorry. I'll email when I know more." She leans forward, swipes the painkillers off the bench and swallows them whole, then plants a quick kiss on him before turning to the door.

2Dads gives an awkward wave in the direction of Zac before running after his boss, who has stopped dead in the doorway. "Where's the taxi?" She asks, turning to him.

2Dads panics. "I... I told it to go when I saw your car was here. I figured you'd drive."

Kate bites her lip, scoops a set of keys from the end table and chucks them blindly in his direction. He just manages to catch them before they hit the ground, but she's already making her way to the passenger door. "Uh, you're going to have to drive." She says, before she freezes and turns back to him. "You _do_ have a license, right?"

"Sure... but..." He trails off as Kate looks relieved, tugging on the passenger side door. As she turns, looking irritated, he curses and unlocks the car before making his way to the driver door. Her seat is too high and too close to the steering wheel, but he makes do with simply adjusting the mirrors and tugging on the seatbelt before turning to his boss once more. Up close, she looks paler than normal, and is leaning against the side of the car door with her eyes closed. The moment he turns the engine on, she lowers the window.

But regardless of the fresh air blowing around him as he backs out of her drive, 2Dads can smell the alcohol on her, the minty smell of mouthwash only slightly masking it. "How drunk are you?" He asks before he can stop himself. For a minute she looks at him, then turns away pointedly.

"You said we were running late?" She challenges, her voice thick.

* * *

They seem to hit every red light along the way. He hasn't called the new X or Dutchy to let them know they're on the way and he's paranoid beyond belief that he's going to somehow total Kate's car. So he jabbers, explaining all about the suspected pirates that _HMAS Huon _has managed to locate and about how nice her car is and what he'd done on his shore leave, all to no real reply. In a desperate attempt for something to distract himself from the semi-conscious probably-still-seeing-double brewery-smelling woman beside her, he flicks on the radio and tries to immerse himself in whatever tunes are playing.

They're only a few minutes from port before she speaks. "Stop the car for a sec."

"What?" 2Dads frowns, turning to her and instantly seeing why. She's gone past pale now and is near-green.

"Stop!" Kate cries, slapping a hand on the door for good measure. 2Dads pulls over as quickly as he can, stopping in front of some old service station and is so distracted he doesn't even flip off the guy who beeps him. A second later Kate topples out and promptly vomits spectacularly into to the gutter. She throws a hand out wildly and just manages to catch her own weight before she falls, still retching horribly.

"Shit." 2Dads curses, unbuckling his seatbelt and heading out of the car towards her. "Are you..." He puts a hand tentatively on her shoulder, but Kate pulls away, still coughing, and he hangs back, not quite sure of what he should be doing.

Covertly, he takes his phone out of his pocket and sends a quick message to Dutchy. He's not entirely sure what he should be sending, but there's not much time to dwell on the decision, so he types out, **_Got the boss but shes ill 5 min away + parking_** and hits send before he can doubt himself. He knows technically speaking he should have sent it to Annika Patel - she _is _their XO after all, but somehow this feels too personal to get other people involved.

Kate gives a final cough and straightens up, not turning around. "2Dads... in glove box there's... tissues. Please." He obeys and slides the packet forwards before turning his back once more. Only when she has blown her nose and wiped her face does she turn around shakily. Her eyes are bloodshot and her forehead is slightly sweaty, but she looks a little better than before.

"You feel better now?" 2Dads quips shakily, not quite sure of the etiquette here.

"Bit..." She mutters, leaning her head against the side of the car for a second.

"Can you stand?" He moves forwards again but this time doesn't touch her. She nods and, after a few moments, manages to seat herself back in the car. "Here." He mutters, handing her his water bottle.

"Thanks." She murmurs, leaning once more against the seatbelt. "Uh... we should go."

2Dads hands shake on the steering wheel as they drive on forwards. She doesn't speak until he parks the car and turns the engine off, tossing her the keys once more. She's managed to drag a brush through her hair and pull on her socks and shoes at least, but she still looks distinctly worse for wear. "2Dads, I... I mean it. Thanks."

2Dads swallows, hoisting her own sea bag on his shoulder as well as his own. "When you get aboard, go straight to your cabin. X can take command of the ship until we reach the vessel." For a moment, she looks as though she's about to argue. Then she bows her head.

* * *

"2Dads!" Annika greets with a mixture of relief and confusion on her face. For a moment, she peers behind him, before turning to face him once more. "Where's the CO?"

"Ah, we've caught her at a bad time. She's a bit unwell. Nothing a good sleep shouldn't fix but that's why she missed all our calls unfortunately." He keeps his eyes forward, even though he can feel the crew's curious collected gazes on him. Kate McGregor missing work for feeling unwell was unprecedented. "She's asked if you'd be able to take us to our target vessel, Ma'am, and call her when we rendezvous with _Huon._"

She continues to stare at him, and 2Dads remembers painfully her speech to them all when she'd first been posted. _Just because I am a mother does not mean I am a soft touch. It just means I am extra qualified to spot lies and I have heard every excuse in the book. _He keeps his gaze on her though, hoping his expression is injecting some sort of trust, and a moment later she nods, turning to Dutchy. "Very well. Close up specials, Dutchy."

* * *

She will never drink tequila again. As Kate retches into the toilet (mercifully at least a little more private than on the side of the road this morning), Kate curses everything to do with alcohol. She can still smell the wretched liquid, even though she's sure that she _must _be down to bile by now.

Her head is pounding. She's long since thrown up the painkillers and she knows she can't leave her cabin to retrieve more. She's barely managed to strip herself out of her jeans before throwing up once more, and she's now shivering and half-dressed on her cabin floor, cursing every single movement of her body.

When her stomach has finally stopped heaving she flushes the toilet and stands, peering at herself in the warped mirror for a moment. "Urgh." She just manages, before she tugs on her DPNU pants and moves out into the cabin to flop unceremoniously on the bed, willing her stomach to stop rolling. If she closes her eyes, it feels as though her brain is on a rollercoaster, dipping and rolling and turning, and she knows it's only a matter of time before she'll end back up in the bathroom.

A knock sounds at the cabin door and Kate winces at the sound. "Y... yeah."

The door opens and Kate turns slightly to catch a glimpse of Dutchy peering at her. "Uh... Ma'am. I was just... well, 2Dads said... well, he didn't say much of anything, which is unusual in itself. I just wanted to check you hadn't lost an arm or something." He looks around the cabin, and Kate is painfully aware of her dumped clothes bundled on the floor and the fact that her breath must reek of booze and vomit.

"I'll... I'll be okay. Just... got a bit of a migraine actually." She lies. She wonders whether Dutchy sees right through her words, but his expression gives nothing away.

"Well, we've... uh, got just under four hours until we rendezvous with _Huon._ So... I'll leave you to it. And... uh, if you're still not well we'll manage. Okay." He swallows awkwardly and Kate feels his eyes rake over her once more. Her cheeks flush and as his eyes lock onto hers, she knows that _he _knows it's not just _sickness._

"Dutchy..." She begins. She's not entirely sure what she's about to say. It's not as if she really owes him anything, no explanation or apologies or anything else. But she hates the pity and disgust in his eyes. "Dutchy, I didn't know we were going to be crash sailed."

"Yeah, well... none of us did, hey." He says coolly. "And don't worry. Whatever you've said to him, 2Dads hasn't told anyone anything. Your secret is safe."

She sits up and instantly regrets it. "Dutchy, I was a few minutes late and didn't hear my phone. I'm sorry I broke my perfect attendance record but it's really none of your business."

For a moment, Dutchy looks as though he's about to say something else back. For a moment, it seems the retort hangs on the tip of his tongue. And then his shoulders slump, and his face turns impassive once more. "You're right." He agrees sadly. "It's not." And before she can say another word, he has left her cabin.

* * *

In his own cabin, 2Dads curses as he closes his computer screen, and fully understands why his grandmother had warned him not to go looking for things he didn't want to find.


	10. Chapter 10

Three hours later sees Kate glancing at herself once more in the mirror and trying to imagine how everyone else will see her. She's brushed _and _sprayed her hair into place, triple-checked her DPNUs are buttoned correctly and her laces are tied. She still feels _slightly _out of it, not drunk by any means, but almost as though her head is a couple of paces in front of her body, as though her legs are clumsily trying to keep up.

A little pale perhaps too, but otherwise okay, with enough toothpaste and mouthwash used to... well, she's not _quite _sharp enough to finish that sentence wittily.

Sucking in a deep breath, she scoops up her water canteen and makes her way towards the bridge, grateful she doesn't meet anyone along the way. Annika is seated in the chair Kate normally occupies, and makes to move respectfully as she spies Kate. However, Kate waves her down with a hand and adds with as much control as she can, "You keep the helm, X. Would you be able to brief me?"

"Of course." Annika nods politely. "I hope you are feeling better, Ma'am."

"Loads." Kate smiles, even though it doesn't quite meet her eyes. "So, we're how far off?"

She can feel everyone on the bridge scrutinising her appearance, although she's hoping she's just feeling raw and paranoid rather than this actually being the case. However she feels her hands absentmindedly wandering to her ponytail, tightening it.

"Ma'am, _Huon _is just over one hour away, although they are not build for speed and so NAVCOM requested that we take over. They are currently tracking a vessel that is apparently harbouring an unknown number of suspected pirates rumoured to have attacked at least seven vessels in the previous month and seriously injured two people before killing another. Reports are varying between four and five people on board, armed with semi-automatic weapons." She turns to gesture at Dutchy. "Petty Officer Mulholland has come up with a very promising plan, if you wish to discuss it with him."

Kate nods, and takes a moment to try and force everything non-work-related from her mind. This mission requires focus, and holds no room for her to feel embarrassed or otherwise. "Very well." Kate turns to Dutchy. "Let's hear it."

* * *

"Dutch... I need a word." Dutchy looks up from the report he is finishing on the successful capture of the pirates and takes in 2Dads' expression. Once again, the young sailor is uncharacteristically serious, wringing his hands and shifting his feet in such a tense manner that Dutchy takes his hands off the keyboard and turns to give him his full attention. "Uh... it's... it's serious." He adds unnecessarily.

"Okay." Dutchy nods soberly. "Ah, shut the door if you want." 2Dads doesn't wait to be asked again, closing the door and taking the seat next to Dutchy. "What's up?"

"Um... hypothetically speaking..." 2Dads begins, and Dutchy immediately shuts his eyes, terrified to hear what drama 2Dads has gotten involved in now. "If you knew someone wasn't... who they say they are. I mean... if they were involved in something... but you didn't want to ruin someone else's happiness. And... and maybe you weren't even sure? Or... or there could be an explanation. Or it was so long ago-"

"2Dads, I have no idea what you're on about." Dutchy intervenes, leaning forwards. "Mate, you're going to have to be more specific."

"I..." 2Dads takes a deep breath. "I figured out where I know Zac from."

"Oh." Dutchy takes in the expression on 2Dads' face. "And I take it it's not..."

"It's not good." 2Dads finishes the sentence for him. For a moment the two of them look at each other, then Dutchy drags a hand over his face. Of course, he'd had his suspicions, but it didn't mean he hadn't hoped they were unfounded.

"Have you talked to the boss?"

He knows the answer before 2Dads gives it. "No. I just..." He takes another deep breath. "She's... she's happy. I mean, for a while... after... you know... _everything._"

"Yeah, I know." Dutchy murmurs, and asks the question he most needs to know. "Is she in danger?" It amazes him how much older 2Dads looks without his trademark cheeky grin plastered on his face. His hands are still twisting in front of him, and Dutchy himself is resisting the urge to pace. "2Dads?!"

"I... I don't know." He admits, and Dutchy's stomach gives an unwelcome lurch. "I've got to tell her, don't I?" 2Dads murmurs sadly.

* * *

Kate rolls her eyes as she closes the email from Zac, a small smile playing on her lips. He still hadn't let up about inviting her to Haiti - his latest email was a video from this years _Carnival, _all pulsing music and a sea of colour. She can't deny she's tempted. The nineteen-year-old Kate would have jumped at the chance to be part of something so unifying and beautiful, and the internal battle _that_ Kate is throwing at her current Lieutenant Commander persona is almost winning.

She's happy. Maybe for the first time in a long time, completely happy in such a freeing way she could almost break into song. And no matter how stressful a patrol she's had she always finds herself relaxing as she sees Zac once more.

They're on their way back to port to deliver the pirates and their vessel of stolen goods to the Federal Police. Kate is no fool though - she knows that the time ashore will be minimal, probably just twelve hours to refuel and restock before heading back out again, but it doesn't mean she's not eager to return back home for a moment, if only to poke Zac in the ribs for even mentioning the word 'tequila'.

A knock on the door startles her and she pulls the door open, catching sight of an anxious looking 2Dads. The expression on his face is so panicked, for a moment Kate wonders if someone on the bridge has simply dropped dead. "What's wrong?" Kate frowns, half-standing from her chair.

"Boss, I... um can I have a word?"

"Sure." Kate pushes open the door so that he can enter. However he stays where he is. "You can come in."

"It's... well, it's personal." 2Dads begins, fidgeting with the bottom of his DPNU.

"Ah." Kate nods, mentally preparing for the drama that is about to unfold. After all, on a boat full of young males, it's inevitable that one of them at some time will get a girl pregnant, or - as Charge had done - even drunkenly marry someone. "What's the problem, 2Dads?"

"It's..." He hesitates for a moment, then moves into the cabin and makes a motion as though to shut the door. Kate nods and he does so, before leaning heavily against it. "I saw my parents on the weekend. Ah.. they came down for a visit. Spent some time chatting with them..." He trails off and Kate nods, waiting for the problem.

When he says no more, Kate waves with a hand. "And?" She prompts.

"Well, conversation was pretty slow. They were asking about the crew and I mentioned Zac and... um... that I thought I knew him." Kate has no idea what to say to this. She has no idea where the conversation is headed. "I pulled up his facebook and showed them a picture of him and they both recognised him straight away. He... uh..." He trails off once more.

"What?!" Kate presses, her voice a mix of irritation and alarm.

2Dads sucks in a deep breath before making eye contact with her, and he knows that this is it, that this is the news that will change everything. "He scammed them. Promised to sell them some fancy painting worth hundreds of thousands. Got the deposit and finders fee out of them before he disappeared."

This is the last thing Kate has expected. After a moment of opening and closing her mouth she shakes her head. "Well, obviously there's been a mistake. Zac doesn't-"

"It was definitely him." 2Dads cuts her off, and although he's still speaking in that carefully quiet voice, his tone is quite firm. "I'm... I'm sorry. My parents are certain."

"But you can't..."

2Dads digs in his pocket before sliding a picture over to her. Clearly in black and white is Zac. "We had CCTV. Police were never able to ID him because he went under an assumed name and the accounts were untraceable. But it's him, Boss. I'm sure of it. And... and there's more." Kate says nothing, swallowing hard. "I... I asked around. From what I've heard... he's involved in internet scams."

This news is too much for Kate, and she stands up so fast that she sends the papers on her desk flying. "What do you mean, internet scams?"

"I mean... Mum asked around after I talked to her. The photo is old but... a few other women recognised him."

"Women?" Kate swallows, her head spinning.

2Dads bows his head sadly. "He's targeted rich widows. And... and scamming them out of thousands."

"You don't know-"

"I wouldn't be here if I wasn't sure." Kate's whole world is spinning. Bile is rising in her throat.

"No." Kate shakes her head, and begins to gather her fallen papers. "No. You don't know-"

Slowly, with shaking hands, 2Dads passes a piece of paper. Kate unfolds it and sees Zac's face. The page is a printout from a dating profile, but it's not his name. "He's using the name Tim Collins on this one." He murmurs. "There are more. I can..."

"Get out." Kate murmurs.

"Boss-" 2Dads begins, but Kate jabs a finger towards the door.

"Get out!" Kate repeats, her voice louder.

2Dads nods sedately, moving towards the door. Finger on the handle, he turns back. "I'm sorry." He murmurs. "But I had to tell you."

* * *

Charge lets out a low whistle as he walks on deck and spies 2Dads dutifully scrubbing the deck of the ship.

"Alright!" He leans casually up against the bulkhead, crossing his arms. "What'd you do this time?"

"Don't know what you're talking about." 2Dads mutters, not looking up from his cleaning.

"Don't tell me you got busted trying to switch the salt and sugar again. No!" He claps his hands together. "You actually tried to sneak Oscar into the Boss' bunk."

2Dads drops his brush into the bucket of soapy water and glares so harshly that Charge actually takes a step backwards. "Buddy, I'm just not in the mood." He says between gritted teeth.

"Whoa!" Charge holds his hands up in surrender. "Okay, now I'm worried. What's going on?"

2Dads chews angrily on his tongue for a moment before something catches his eye, and he retrieves his brush. "Nothing." He mutters darkly.

Charge hesitates for a moment. He's never since 2Dads this angry, and _certainly _never heard him refuse to back up or explain away whatever stupid prank he's last played. But a moment later he feels the hairs on the back of his neck prickle and he turns in time to see the boss.

"Ma'am." He greets respectfully, glancing between her own taut frame and 2Dads' mute cleaning. "Uh, I'm going to..." He doesn't even bother to make an excuse, pausing only when he's closed the hatch and leaned against it. "What the hell?" He mutters to himself.

* * *

"I didn't say anything." 2Dads breaks the silence between them.

"I know." Kate mutters, hooking a loose strand of hair behind her ears. "I didn't order you to clean."

"Figured it was only a matter of time. Might as well get a jump on it if I actually want to get to sleep tonight." He glances up at her. "Ma'am." He adds, knowing the addition is really too late.

He's not sure exactly what he expects to happen. He feels he could have dealt with fireworks, or tears and denial. But this cool... nothingness is putting him on edge. And with a fury he's never known before, he wants to hurt Zac, wants to punish him for even daring to consider breaking her heart.

"I couldn't _not _tell you." He addresses the soapy deck of the ship.

"You don't understand..." She begins, and he jerks his head up so quickly he cricks his neck.

"You're actually defending him?" 2Dads knows he's beyond pushing his luck, knows that at any moment she could end his career for even daring to open his mouth, but he can't stop. "He's a criminal! A criminal and a fraud and you're..." He forces himself to bite his tongue, knowing that if he continues the sentence they'll both have to live with the consequences.

"2Dads, you don't know him like I do. He's... he's a good guy."

"He's a good guy that steals people's money and... and it's okay because they're rich? Would it still be okay if he was scamming single mothers out of their kids' last meals? Or you? Because he's using you too! Surely you see that!"

"Just _stop!_"

"He's using you and you're too besotted to see!"

"You're..." Kate holds up a hand and despite his fury, he falls silent. For a moment he's sure she's about to fire him or order a captain's table. But the cold fury in her voice is so much worse. "You don't know him." She repeats.

2Dads shakes his head, and as he takes in her desperate expression, he feels his anger fade to pity. "I think," He begins, his voice softer. "...that you're going to have to consider the possibility that you don't either."


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: **So I just wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone who has been taking the time to read this and FtF. I know I have been tremendously slack, both in terms of updating and in terms of replying to everyone's beautiful reviews, but it really does mean a lot to me. This will probably be the last update for a while as I'm on holidays for a month. I will try to write when I'm overseas but be warned there is a strong chance of me getting detained by border security trying to smuggle llamas so...

Thank you so so much... sorry if it's too disjointed but I needed to get it up! Hope you enjoy

* * *

The last thing she wants to do is work, but she has no choice. The moment she approaches the bridge, Annika approaches her in her usual business-like tone. "Ma'am, the Federal Police have completed the handover." She says by way of greeting, straightening her DPNU shirt unnecessarily and nodding respectfully at Kate. "We're almost finished refuelling and then we are ready to make sail once more. NAVCOM have just faxed through the coordinates of a general area where there are unconfirmed reports of FFVs."

"Roger." Kate nods, even though her guts are churning and her heart is breaking. And she hopes that her voice doesn't betray the weakness she's feeling. "How long until we're ready to set sail again?"

Annika doesn't seem to notice anything peculiar about Kate's behaviour. On the contrary, she turns and consults her watch for a moment. "Approximately forty-five minutes, Ma'am?" She guesses.

"Right." Kate gives a stiff nod and finds her gaze wandering towards the docks once more. "I- I just need to deal with something on shore. I shouldn't be more than half an hour but are you able to take point here and prepare us for sail, X?"

"Uh..." Annika looks perplexed but recovers, nodding stiffly. "Of course, Ma'am."

"Very good." Kate nods, leaving the bridge and heading straight to her cabin.

* * *

She supposes she needs to get used to the emptiness sooner or later. Should get used to the creaking of the house and the ticking of the clock. And the loneliness. Had the house always been this big? How will it look without his possessions around?

Wearily, she makes her way upstairs, wondering whether she's glad or not that he isn't here. Wondering whether it will make things easier for her.

But she'd give anything for just one more _good _moment.

She heaves a heavy sigh as she peers once more at the papers she's been clutching in her lap the entire car ride over, before laying them out along the bed. He'll find them before long, along with the note telling him to get out of her house. She'll be back at sea when that happens, far away from him and the lies he will no doubt spin to defend himself. But she'll stay strong. She'll stay away.

Fighting back tears again, she makes her way back out of her house and to her car once more, trying to force herself back into that CO mindset.

He'll find them.

He'll know.

And then it will all be over.

* * *

This time, when 2Dads knocks on Dutchy's door, the Petty Officer doesn't have to guess why the younger sailor looks so wretched. He nods ever so slightly and pulls the door open a little more, permitting 2Dads to enter. Not until he's shut the door behind him does Dutchy turn to face 2Dads.

"So, she didn't take it well then?" He guesses, resting his chin in his hand.

2Dads raises an eyebrow in a _what-do-you-think _kind of expression before the irritation seems to fade and he shrugs. "She doesn't believe me. Kept talking about how I don't know him and... and what a great guy he is and all that bullshit." 2Dads scuffs the toe of a boot against the floor.

Dutchy takes in the slightly damp fabric covering 2Dads' knees. "She made you scrub the deck then?" He guesses, hoping that Kate's anger doesn't extend much further than that. To his surprise though, 2Dads just gives another distracted shrug.

"I kind of felt like I deserved it." He reasons after a while.

For a moment, Dutchy is struck by just how far 2Dads has come over the years, so far from the careless, reckless, immature junior he had once been. Before, the transformation seemed to make 2Dads feel proud. But now, any happiness is long gone from his features. "Hey," Dutchy interjects, reaching out and resting a hand on 2Dads' forearm. "None of this is your fault. She... she needed to know."

This seems to do nothing to reassure 2Dads who simply twitches as though trying to dislodge a fly from his shoulder. "I just..." But then he stops, twisting his hands around and around in front of him. "Well... it was nice to see her happy."

"I know, mate." Dutchy nods, and yet again he longs to hurt Zac, make him suffer for breaking Kate's heart. "I know."

* * *

2Dads isn't expecting to run straight into her, isn't even remotely prepared for what he can possibly say to make this better. He can only imagine the twisting emotions within her, but he feels powerless to help. After all, he's not really her _friend. _He's not Dutchy, who can get away with sometimes slipping up and calling her _Kate_ and can tease her about how she has to keep her mashed potato from touching her peas and how she has no social life. Hell, 2Dads knows she could have him up on charges for half the things 2Dads has already said to her, let alone the overstepping of boundaries he feels he has to do to in any way comfort her.

If it was his sister who was in front of him, he knows in an instant what he would do - let her cry on his shoulder, share some chocolate and a six pack and offer to go beat the guy up for her. But it was the Boss. It was Kate Freakin' McGregor, who could throw a guy over her shoulder without breaking a sweat. It was his CO. A Lieutenant Commander in the freaking Navy and he... he...

Well, he doesn't know how to help. And the one person he knows he could turn to for advice is the very person he is desperate to help.

She hasn't seen him, her gaze fixed on the boiling kettle in front of her, and, without meaning to, he finds himself taking in her appearance, trying to detect any trace of what he should do.

And then she hiccups. Hiccups in that way that tells him oh-so-plainly that she's just spent the last hour or so crying her heart out, and he lets out an involuntary gasp that has her whipping around and hastily wiping her eyes with the back of a sleeve.

"Ma'am." He stammers, taking a step back and knocking his elbow painfully against the bulkhead. "Uh... sorry, I was just coming for a brew but... but I can come back..." He trails off when she doesn't immediately start breathing fire.

"I picked that name." Her voice is so quiet he isn't quite sure of what she said, and in spite of his earlier apprehension, he takes a step closer to her.

"Ma'am?" He manages finally.

"My..." Kate's voice cracks and she clears her throat, before adopting an almost-business-like tone, as though she's chatting to Maxine White or something. "My mother hated him. We joked about running away. About starting a new life. And he... he said I should change my name to Mel and he'd change his name to Tim and we'd run away and get married and everything..." It doesn't seem as though she can bring herself to finish the sentence, to recount the happily-ever-afters he had spun her. "Tim and Mel Collins. We figured it was... enough to hide us. It was a joke, really. A tale we spun about our future."

2Dads says nothing. Just bows his head, not daring to mention that Zac had taken the opportunity to hide something far worse from her. "I'm sorry." He says again, and he wonders vaguely whether he'll ever feel as though he's said it enough.

Kate looks up and catches his eye, and he wonders whether he's ever seen her looking this lost before. "I don't know what to do." She admits. "I can't..." Her voice cracks and she lets the words trail away. And he knows, really, that there is no way he can make this better for him. No matter how much he tries, no matter how badly he wishes he could take back his words or explain away everything he had found in logical and well-reasoned excuses, he can't. In the end, it has to be her to end it. Has to be her to cut the ties.

The PA crackles into life, calling her up onto the bridge, and he thinks if it wasn't such a miserable sight he'd be impressed at the way she oh-so-quickly pulls herself back into CO mode. But as she walks away from him, he wonders just how long she can keep up the facade before it breaks.

* * *

Though both 2Dads and Dutchy keep a close eye on her over the next few weeks of patrol, she gives no further indication of any concerns, personal or otherwise. On the contrary, she has never seemed more focused than ever, and her dedication pays off as they intercept FFV after FFV. Neither one of them mention Zac to Kate, and her likewise, as though never speaking his name again will completely wipe him from history.

And while Dutchy is not quite sure if this coping strategy is at all healthy, he sure prefers it to getting his head bitten off again, so for the most part he just gets on with work and encourages 2Dads to do the same.

* * *

She blocks his number and deletes his emails. It's the only way, she tells herself. The only way not to fall back into his clutches. The only way to move forwards.

So she focuses entirely on work for the next three weeks as they chase FFVs all across the Coral Sea, and pushes away the heartbreak still tearing her apart so dramatically it's like a physical sickness.

She doesn't sleep very much, instead spending more time than ever on the bridge or in the galley, anything to surround herself with as many people as possible so that she doesn't have to be alone with her thoughts. The task of acting as though everything is fine is a tough one though, and she feels weak and sick at the end of each day when there's nothing to distract herself from the impending shore leave.

Because she knows either way she is doomed. Either way, her heart will break. Either she will arrive at her house and find Zac full of lies, or he will be gone. And, God, she longs for him to convince her, to give her some excuse, some reason that makes sense of everything 2Dads had told her. But she doesn't think she can face the alternative.

So as _HMAS Hammersley _makes its way back into port and she finishes handing off the stack of paperwork to Maxine and she's left facing nothing but a daunting three days of confirmed shore leave, she finds herself, instead of driving back towards her house, instead nudging her car towards the highway.

* * *

It takes two hours to get to the little house with the garden full of weeds and the torn flyscreen on the door, and the dream-catcher swinging in the dusty breeze. She hasn't bothered to change, hasn't packed anything that wasn't already in her sea bag and has no real plan of action as she walks along the cracked garden path towards the front door. And she's still not sure if this is a good idea or not, but her feet carry her forwards, and she finds herself knocking on the door.

Cigarette in hand, the woman says nothing as she takes in Kate's broken frame, but pulls the door open and mutely raises an eyebrow. "He did it again, didn't he?" She frowns, taking in Kate's appearance.

And Kate crumples into her arms. "Mum." She whimpers.

* * *

Barbara moves forwards and deposits a glass in front of Kate, the decal of _Blinky Bill _on it barely recognisable through scratches, before taking the seat opposite her daughter and dragging an ashtray towards her. "You get your bad luck with men from me, you know?" She quips, tapping her cigarette on the corner of the ashtray and cocking an eyebrow in the direction of Kate.

Kate says nothing, keeping her gaze fixed downwards at the grubby rubber table cloth. Very little has changed in the house since Kate has last seen it, and she is just able to see the faint indentation of the star she'd once scratched into the rubber, just because she could.

Barb seems unphased by this lack of conversation. On the contrary, she takes another breath and continues talking as though the conversation wasn't entirely one-sided. "Yep. Your Daddy always had my heart, no matter how many times he smashed it beneath his boot. Affair after affair. Fight after fight. When he died I lost a piece of myself. Still missing." She fingers her chest idly. "And you..." She sucks in another long drag, blowing the smoke out between her teeth. "So much love to give in that tiny body of yours."

Her vision is swimming, the patterns on the tablecloth blending, and her mother pushes herself up and moves to wrap an arm around her. And it's the touch that breaks the dam. And it might as well have been ten years ago, as she sat in that same kitchen crying over him. And her mother smells of cigarettes and VB but it's her _mum, _and she feels herself sink into the comforting embrace.

"You can stay here for as long as you need, Katie."


	12. Chapter 12

_Hola from the outskirts of Puna in Peru! Been having a blast on this holiday and finally had time to sneak an update. Sorry for any potential mistakes. Reception is pretty dodgy. But side note, if you ever have the chance to get to South America, go! Each spot is just stunning. Amazing! Thanks for hanging in there with me :)_

* * *

Just for a moment, when she wakes the next morning, she forgets. For the briefest of moments, she relishes in the notion that she can simply sleep, that she's on shore leave and that she can relax. It isn't until one of her arms snakes out to the left, and collides heavily with the wall that shouldn't be there, waking her up as abruptly as if she'd been doused in freezing water. And then she remembers. Remembers that the dreams of a life she's constructed have all evaporated, until all she is is a pathetic woman in her mid-thirties crying herself to sleep in her childhood bedroom.

She moves, and feels the tightness of the sheets pulled tight around her, as though she's wrapped in a straight jacket. Struggling slightly to free herself, she realises that her mother must have tucked her into bed.

_Even more pathetic._

The room is like a time capsule, practically unchanged, so that it feels more like a museum than the place she'd once called her sanctuary. Her doona is still that horrible flowered monstrosity she'd so hated, the posters covering the salmon-coloured paint on the walls and recounting interests in celebrities Kate can barely remember. Stuffed toys and books and photos line the book shelves, all memorabilia of a life she'd been sure she'd left behind.

She rolls over and peers at the door, the plastic butterfly beads she'd begged for when she was ten still hanging, limply collecting years worth of dust. And although she had imagined that after last night she will have cried out all her tears, her eyes begin to swim once more.

_Zac. _

She still doesn't quite believe it.

And yet... she does.

It's a crushing, confusing, twisting snake of anguish, constricting her heart, her lungs, her brain. Everything in her that had moved Zachary Tate.

And she can't go back.

She hiccups and rolls onto her side, curling herself into a ball, even though it's way too warm already to be doing that. Despite every effort to the contrary, she keeps imagining Zac, pacing around the house waiting for her, perhaps. Or else calling her over and over again with no response. _Or maybe, _the dark voice inside her head hisses, _he's already moved on. _

She doesn't exactly expect a knock from her mother, but she's still not prepared for the way in which the silence is torn apart as Barbara sweeps the beads back and bustles in without so much as a preliminary hello. However, the intrusion is a welcome one. Any chance to distract from the misery that has been thrust upon her.

"Morning." Barbara casts an appraising eye over her daughter, and instinctively Kate draws herself into a tighter ball as though to hide from the inquisition, her chin tucked beneath the doona. Barbara looks unphased by this less-than-warm welcome, a dressing gown hanging loosely around her and an unlit cigarette tucked behind one ear. "You look terrible." She muses, nudging the bed with a slipper-clad foot. "I'm not bringing you breakfast in bed, I hope you know. You want room service, go check into _The Hilton._"

Kate just about manages a smile. Of course, Barbara's words are far from supportive or encouraging but there's something distinctly comfortable in the tone. Almost a reminder that Kate had once looked after herself, and would once more. "Thanks, Mum." She mutters into her pillow, still making no effort to move.

For a moment Barb hovers. Then she lets out a sigh and sits herself on the bed beside Kate, ignoring Kate's squeak of protest as she manages to sit on one of Kate's feet. "Fuck's sake, Katie, you were always so much smarter than me. Bloody running before you'd even learned how to crawl. But you always seem to fall for the dumbass pricks that are too stupid to see you for who you are!" She fidgets with a hole in the doona. "You were top of every class. You were great at sports and you went for everything you wanted, but you are utterly hopeless with guys. I mean..." She shrugs. "I know I never really gave you much of a stellar example. But you always seem to go for the idiots."

"Zac's not an idiot, Mum." Kate cuts in before she can stop herself. A moment later she feels the heat rush into her cheeks.

Barbara dismisses the words with a careless flick of the head. "Well, he's certainly not smart, letting you walk out of his life." She huffs irritably. "Don't suppose you feel like telling me why, though."

Why? But the _why _was never simple when it came to them. So Kate closes her eyes tight and draws herself even smaller. "I'll be out later, Mum. I'm just... I'm tired."

"Yeah, yeah." Barbara pushes herself to her feet and flicks Kate lightly on the ear, so abruptly that Kate's eyes fly open once more. "Come to the kitchen. I've got a present for you, and you left your phone on the kitchen bench. You have messages. Some man with multiple fathers or something wants to know if you want to go to the pub." She claps her hands together and then, for good measure, tugs the doona from Kate's clutches. "Get up! Breakfast in five minutes."

oOo

She ignores the messages from 2Dads for the moment, settling herself on one of the stools in front of the kitchen counter and resting her chin in her hands. She's dressed herself in a singlet and cargo pants before dragging a cardigan over her shoulders. Of course, it's far too warm already to exactly warrant this extra layer, but it feels oddly like a security blanket, and she feels she'll gladly take anything that gives her that bit of extra safety.

A moment later there's a slight chink of porcelain as Barbara deposits a plate in front of Kate. Rolling her eyes, Kate picks up one of the small triangles in front of her. "Aren't I a little old for you to still be cutting my toast into triangles?"

"Cut the crusts off too." Barbara muses, seating herself next to Kate and picking at her own toast. "Hey, you're still my little girl. You were always fussy with your crusts. Never believed it would make your hair curly." She catches Kate's eye and grins.

"Yeah, somehow I saw right through that one." Kate mutters, tugging at a strand of her straight blonde hair.

"Bloody know-it-all you were. Here." Her mother drags a plastic bag across the bench and upends it, sending orange paper packets across the bench. "Make yourself useful, eh?"

Kate blinks, picking up one of them and frowning. "So this is my present? How old do you think I am?"

"Shut up and unwrap." Barbara quips, flinging a handful of the orange paper packets across the table towards Kate without looking up. "Don't look at me like that. Some of us are working."

"What a job! Selling stolen... what are these called again? Squishies?"

"Ooshies." Barbara responds, her eyes fixed on the table as she frees the tiny collectables from each packet. "And don't you raise your eyebrow at me young lady. There are one hundred rare ones to collect and a full set sells on eBay, so..."

"Whatever." Kate tears one open and reveals a golden lion and holds it up for Barb to see. "Is this special? It's gold?"

Barbara twists her face into that of mock excitement. "Yeah, shit, Katie! You've plunged us both into the money. In fact-" She tugs another identical Ooshie from the packet in her hands. "Two! What should we buy?"

"Alright, you don't need to be mean." Kate lobs the lion at her mother, who dodges it easily. "So where'd you get these from? You hijacking woollies trucks now?"

"You are looking at Staff Member of the Month at the local Woollies, young lady. So what about you? Last time you visited you'd just been posted on _Hammersley." _Kate blinks, astounded that her mother would remember this, and Barbara scoffs. "What? You think I'd forget where my only child is?"

"Well, I'm CO now." Kate shrugs, then adds, "Running the boat."

"And does that make you happy?" Barb presses. For a moment Kate hesitates, not quite sure how to answer. Yes, she is happy. Was happy. Stalling for time, she tugs her jumper over her head and readjusts the straps of her singlet. She'd forgotten her mother's aversion to air-conditioning and the room is already stuffy, despite the early hour. But her mother's stern tone makes her freeze. "Kate!" She barks, her voice suddenly as sharp as barbed wire. "What is that on your shoulder?"

Perplexed, Kate's fingers trace her shoulder blade before realisation hits. "Oh." Kate feels her shoulders droop. "Oh. I... well, I... I got a tiny little bit... uh... shot?"

For a moment Barbara looks as though she is about to explode. The next time she speaks, however, her voice is dangerously low. "And when did this happen?"

"Uh..." Kate hesitates. "Well, it... it was..." She feels herself shrinking under her mother's glare. "Look, Mum, I was fine. It was-"

To Kate's bewilderment though, tears start to well in her mother's eyes. "You..." She shakes her head, seemingly lost for words. "You fucking _tell _me shit like that." She manages.

"It was a graze. I was fine. I-"

"You are my daughter. Do you get that? I have a right to know!" She shakes her head. "Do you have any idea how much I love you? But you... what_ else _hashappened in your life you haven't told me?"

_Mike._

_Jim._

_Everything._

Tears well in Kate's eyes too. "A lot." She croaks, before she dissolves once more into tears.

oOo

"It's just bullshit. When people... people lie and shit." 2Dads murmurs as he and Bird make their way along the road towards Goat Central.

"2Dads, I have no idea what you're on about." Bird mumbles, brushing a hand through her hair and sweeping it from her face. Her features are a little bleary, and there's certainly less patience in her gaze than usual. "You've been rambling on about loyalty and justice all night. What's going on?"

As though suddenly remembering where he is, he shakes his head. "It's... it's not important."

Bird rolls her eyes and continues along the road. "So we can stop _not_ talking about it?" She presses.

"You know Birdie, you're a happy drunk, but a mean hangover.. person."

"Shut up." Bird moans, rubbing circles on her temple.

"Ugh." 2Dads yawns widely and stretches his hands above his head "I think I am so drunk I am still seeing-" 2Dads stops mid sentence, freezing as he takes in the figure perched outside goat central.

Zac has obviously spotted him too, because he suddenly pulls himself up from the brick wall and moves purposefully towards him. It seems to take Bird slightly longer to recognise Zac, but a moment later she grins. "Hey, Zac. What are you up to-"

"What are you doing here?" 2Dads cuts across her, his voice dark and laced with malice.

Bird looks curiously between the two of them before holding her arms up in surrender. "I'm too tired for this. Night Zac."

Zac waits until Bird is out of sight before moving closer to 2Dads, who folds his arms and glares. Zac licks his lips for a moment before speaking in a slow, measured tone. "Kate's gone... somewhere. She's not returning calls-"

"Can you blame her?" 2Dads interjects.

"You... you don't understand. I just need to talk to her. To explain..."

"I don't think _you _understand. We're a family on _Hammersley. _We look out for each other. And you-"

The effort Zac seems to be putting into remaining patient seems to be slipping. "2Dads, I-"

"No." 2Dads shakes his head. "We're not friends, Zac. Just go! Do us all. favour."

For a moment Zac looks as though he's prepared to fight him, and 2Dads readies himself. But then Zac shakes his head sadly. "I'm not giving up on her. You tell her that from me."

"Go home, Zac." 2Dads mutters. "I don't owe you anything."

oOo

Her mother goes to work, and Kate spends most of the time sleeping. She's tired. So tired it seems to drag her under as she spends hour after hour in her old bedroom. It's not just her body that's tired. Her mind feels like a wrung out sponge and her heart... well, she doesn't want to think about that just now.

She tries to distract herself. She watches some documentary on coma patients, the Spanish news to brush up on her language skills, even a bloody Play School episode, but over and over her fingers fumble through her bag to scan the papers 2Dads had given her, until it seems as though she will never be able to rid the imprint from her eyes.

Barbara doesn't look surprised to find Kate in tears again when she returns from work. Heaving another weary sigh, she moves to the lounge next to Kate and sits. Kate stiffens, ready for the lectures, or the complaints or. slurs on Zac's character. But after a moment Barbara wraps an arm around Kate's shoulder. "It won't always hurt like this, Baby." She whispers, pulling Kate close. "I promise, it's all going to be okay."


	13. Chapter 13

The shower won't go hot enough, because she can still feel the ghost of his touch on her skin. She scrubs and scrubs with a loofah until she's almost as raw on the outside as how she feels on the inside. She has no more tears to spill; everything inside of her is shrivelled and dry, leaving her with a dull ache somewhere where her heart used to be.

It's pathetic. _She's _pathetic. After all, she'd gotten over him once before, but yet again she let herself just involved with an ex and yet again, she got burned.

Zac. Mike. Jim. Why did she keep going back to failed relationships expecting anything to change?

She turns the shower off and stands for a moment, water dripping from her waterlogged hair and trailing down her body as she stands shivering in the sudden cold. It's an effort to pull open the shower door, her arms full of lead as she drapes herself in a fluffy towel she doesn't deserve and moves towards her bedroom.

And there he is. Zac. Seated on the edge of her bed, his chin blue with stubble and his shoulders slumped, although he straightens when he sees her. And even though seeing him here, _now_, is the last thing she has expected upon getting out of the shower, she doesn't flinch or yell or scream. She just stands there and stares at him.

"Hear me out." He croaks. "Please, Kit." For a moment, she's not sure what she is going to do. She teeters for a moment, not sure whether she's going to yell, or run, or fall into his arms. She settles instead for tightening her towel around her and tilting her head just slightly, and he takes this for permission to continue speaking. "I'm sorry." He murmurs.

She frowns as she folds her arms in front of her. "You're a thief." It's not a question. They're long past any denial on his part. But she needs the facts. Needs to know, needs to collect all the information and then... then he will be gone from her life.

"I don't use the money for myself." He murmurs. "Not a cent of it."

"What a defence." She can't keep the frostiness from her tone. "Zac, you're insane if you think we can move past this! I should be calling the cops right now!"

"Then why don't you?" He reaches over to her bedside table and tosses her mobile phone on the bed next to him, calling her bluff. He knows she won't dob him in. For a moment they both stare at the phone. Then he pushes himself to his feet and begins pacing. "There are people that have the world at their feet who... who wouldn't lift a finger to help anyone. They could solve all these problems just with a fraction of the wealth they have, but they don't. They don't care. And then I go to all these places and meet these families and... and they've got nothing. Their kids are dying and their stomachs are empty but they will still open their homes to complete strangers. I mean, is it so wrong to want to help these people? I can use this money for good. I _do _use the money for good. It's built schools and... and homes and hospitals. Kate, it's saved lives!"

"But you did it by breaking the law! By abusing people's trust! _My _trust!"

For the first time, the conviction in his tone seems to falter as he averts his gaze. "I never meant to hurt you."

"But you did." She hates how her voice shakes and cracks. Hates how she's still longing for him to say something - _anything - _that would permit her to forgive him. "You did, Zac." She draws the towel tighter still. It's far from feeling uncomfortable around him - heaven knows, he's seen her in far less. But the towel is a barrier of sorts, a safety blanket between them.

"I'm sorry." He takes a step forward, but Kate darts out of his reach. "Kate..."

She shakes her head. "I want you gone, Zac."

The world is spinning.

Please don't go.

I hate you.

I love you.

"We're done, Zac." She turns away, because she doesn't want him to see her tears. She's sick of being weak, sick of being the victim and sick of being pitied. But a hand catches her shoulder and, despite every fibre of her being telling her otherwise, she turns to face him.

"Kate, I love you. And I truly believe it's fate, us being here, having this second chance."

"Zac-"

"And I'm not giving up on you. I'm not giving up on _us._ I can't just turn my back on what we have."

"You think that I want to be here?" Kate snaps. "You think this is what I hoped for us? You think this is what I planned? You can't make out like this is up to me, Zac. _You _broke the law. _You _dragged me into this."

"I'm doing what _we _dreamed about. _Helping people. _And, _Fuck, _I know it's not the way we'd planned it. But... Kate, I'm trying to do the right thing. You deal with... with illegal fisherman trying to feed their families and... and people hiding in shipping containers and crates all in search of a better life for themselves and their families. You of all people know there's more than one right thing to do."

She can't help but snarl at those words. "Oh, this is not about morals-"

"But it is! It _is_, Kate. Fuck... I..." His hands tangle in his own hair. "If it was me suffering, you wouldn't think twice. Why can't you just... just consider it for a second-"

"2Dads is my friend and you ripped his parents off!"

"I didn't know you'd be posted on a ship with the guy, Kate. When I met them, he was a party boy staggering home at 6am!"

"Oh, so it was okay to steal from them then?"

"I just tried to do what we'd talked about!" Zac's voice bounces off the walls of the house, so loudly that Kate takes a step back. Zac seems to sense her fear because he drags a hand over his face and lowers his voice. "Look, I'm... I'm sorry. I don't want to fight with you, Kate. I want to explain. I want... I want to talk to you. And if at the end of it you still want me to leave, I will. Just... just please, Kit. Hear me out."

For a moment, she teeters on the balls of her feet. And then she nods. "Let me get dressed. I'll meet you downstairs."

* * *

"So are you going to tell me what's going on, or do I need to guess?" Charge asks as he slides another beer across the table. Dutchy drags it in front of him and mutters thanks but doesn't say any more. "Well," Charge drums a hand on the table as he continues to speak. "The Boss sent 2Dads to scrub the deck, _you're _acting as though someone keyed your motorbike and then the boss just took off for our entire shore leave. And now, you're wallowing in the pub not talking. My first guess is... you made a move on her and 2Dads saw."

Dutchy's eyes flick up in irritation. "You're a shithouse detective." He mutters.

Charge nods soberly, taking another gulp of beer. "Alright, then you and 2Dads jumped Zac and beat him up."

"I wish." He mutters before he can stop himself. Charge raises an eyebrow, and Dutchy knows that the older man probably knows a lot more than Dutchy has given him credit for.

"Dutchy, what the hell is going on? I know I make jokes and everything but... I'm worried. Something is not right. And... and if Kate is in danger-"

"She's not." He cuts in quickly, draining the last of his first beer and swiping at the condensation on the one Charge had just bought him. "Or... or she shouldn't be."

"Dutch-"

For a moment, Dutchy wants to confess everything to Charge. Full of jokes and inappropriate comments he might be, but Charge cares about the safety of the crew more than anything else. But as Dutchy teeters on the edge of confession, he feels his resolve leave him. She'd never forgive him if he told.

"Nothing." He mutters, taking a deep breath and trying to inject some credibility to his words. "Look, Charge, it's just me overthinking things. She's okay, I promise. But I'm going to head off. Have the beer, I haven't touched it."

"You're not driving-" Charge begins, half-rising from his own chair.

"I've only had a couple but no, I'll walk." He tries a reassuring smile that he doesn't feel. "I'm okay."

* * *

The walk to her house is a relatively short one, the cool breeze rustling the leaves on the trees and tickling his hair. In the distance, he can hear the sounds of a gathering. Maybe a barbecue, and he thinks back to that disastrous barbecue with Zac. He should have pushed him harder.

Yet again, there it is. If he was faster. If he was smarter. If he'd anticipated the danger.

He makes his way up her front path and is just about to knock when something on the ground catches his eye, and he has to bite down on his tongue to stop himself from yelling out. Two men's boots.

Hesitating for a fraction of a second, he presses his ear to the glass door, and catches the low mumbling voices, then, unmistakably, laughter.

She had invited him back.

* * *

She goes to _Hammersley. _She has the key she'd given him weeks ago clutched tight in one fist, but after waking up in his arms yet again, she scrambles out of bed, plucks the key from the pair of his jeans crumpled on her floor and she heads to _Hammersley, _the one place he can't follow her. Of course, she doesn't strictly need to be there for another twelve hours, but her home is no longer a _home, _and she doesn't want to waste any more tears on him.

She doesn't want to be Kate anymore, because Kate had loved Zac.

So she becomes _The Boss _instead, pausing only to change into her DPNUs before busying herself on the bridge with a stack of paperwork and mug after mug of coffee. She listens with a detached sort of interest as Annika regales stories of her boys' latest sporting achievements, and Charge boasts about the fish he'd caught. She nods dutifully as RO lists... _something _to do with COMCEN (she only ever understands about half of his technological ramblings on a _good _day, and this is far from good.)

She can't sit for very long, too full of anxiety, and hides the bags under her eyes with a layer of makeup she wouldn't normally wear.

And she ignores his calls.

It isn't until they've left port that she bumps into 2Dads - quite literally bumps into him, sending her travel mug to the floor with a clatter of metal on metal. "Oh no." 2Dads mutters, dropping to the ground to retrieve the mug as Kate shakes drops of coffee from her fingers. "Ma'am, I'm sorry. Did it burn-"

"It's fine." Kate forces a smile she isn't feeling and takes the mug from him. "It was mostly cold anyway. Needed the caffeine hit more than I could be bothered waiting for the kettle."

"I should have looked. I'm sorry."

"It's fine." Kate repeats. "No harm done."

"Sorry." He mutters again, eyes darting down, and she realises he's not just talking about the coffee. "Are... are you-"

"Have you told anyone?" The words tumble from her mouth before she can quite wrap her head around them. He flinches, and she knows instantly that he _has _told someone. "Who?"

"Dutchy..." 2Dads murmurs, before he adds in a rush, "He doesn't know everything. Just... enough. I... I needed advice and..." He trails off, eyes still downcast.

"Great." Dutchy. Of all the people. Well, she supposes that Dutchy was right in the end. He'd never trusted Zac.

"It wasn't to gossip, Boss. I just... I didn't know what to do. Look, if you need someone to talk to or... or _not _talk to, we're here. Okay?" It might just be the most awkward affirmation of solidarity she's ever gotten, but she nods distractedly.

"Are you going to report him?" 2Dads looks up, confused. For a moment it looks as though words are on the tip of his tongue but after a moment he seems to second guess what he was about to say, and falls into silence once more. Kate glances left and right. The corridor is deserted. "I know what he did was wrong. But... he did it for good reasons. And-"

"What?" 2Dads splutters indignantly. "I mean, all due respect and all, but what possible _good reasons _are there?"

"He's..." Adjectives flood through her head - _good _and _honest _and _loyal._ But none of them quite seem to fit.

2Dads peers at her with a wisdom she's never quite seen in his eyes before. "And if I was going to report him... turn him in... Would you warn him?"

"What?" Kate splutters, even though she heard him perfectly well.

"You heard me." All previous concerns about him speaking out of turn seem to have flown out the window. She is not the Commanding Officer in this scenario, and he is not a subordinate. No. They are just two people. Inquisitor and victim. "Are you going to tip him off... give him time to run? Or are you going to uphold those Navy values? Because Honesty and Integrity seemed to mean a lot more to you before he showed up-"

**"**You're out of line, 2Dads!" Kate snaps, taking a step forward, and they're already so close that she very nearly pokes him in the eye. "You don't know him! You think he deserves to go to prison?"

"I don't think my friend deserves to go to prison for trying to help a criminal."

There it is again. The same word Dutchy had thrown at her. Friend. Except friends listen to each other. Her fingers clench and unclench. "We're done here." She mutters, and she turns away, leaving him alone.

* * *

Inside his cabin, Dutchy raises his phone to his ear.

"Yes." He greets. "I'd... I'd like to report a crime."


	14. Chapter 14

Kate kneads a palm into her temple in a desperate attempt to alleviate the growing stress headache. She's always hated taking painkillers, but she's already admitted defeat and taken some, as well as loosening her hair as much as she can without _technically _breaking uniform dress code, _and _chugged about a hundred litres of water - okay, so that is a _slight _exaggeration - but the pain is growing so quickly that a faint nausea is churning in her stomach.

She's drinking too much coffee. Zac had always made fun of her caffeine intake, insisting that she at least balance it out with food. She just can't stand the looks she's getting from Dutchy and 2Dads every meal time, not to mention the paranoia she feels as her gaze flickers between each member of her team, wondering who else knows, and who else suspects. So she grabs fills three mugs at a time in the galley and avoids the galley and the messes as much as she can.

She curses and turns her gaze back to the paperwork, but she can't concentrate. Every time she tries to shift her attention towards the pile of papers littering her desk, her view goes blurry within seconds, and she finds herself staring at nothing in particular, thinking about Zac.

Leaning down, she pulls open her drawer for the umpteenth time and touches the smooth metallic shell of the mobile phone, reassuring herself it's still there. Her out. Her safety net. Just in case...

No.

She shuts the drawer once more and forces herself to her feet. She had told him to go. She'd taken her key back. She'd said it was over.

She'd just also slept with him again beforehand.

And told him she still loved him.

But then she'd told him to go.

Groaning, she makes her way down the corridors, knowing that she needs to find something to soak up all the coffee she's been drinking on an empty stomach, before she's sick. She has to cast her mind back to even remember the last time she ate. She'd skipped breakfast this morning. And dinner the night before.

Cursing at her scattered thoughts, she moves into the galley, but she's barely crossed the threshold when the loudspeaker blares into action and Kate hears herself being summoned to the bridge. "Just my luck." She mutters, scooping an apple out of the fruit bowl and turning back in the opposite direction.

"Ma'am." Annika greets as soon as she spots Kate, in that same no-nonsense tone she always uses. Kate can't remember how many times she's told Annika she can call her Boss, or even Kate while they're ashore, but the woman has never changed her syntax the entire time Kate has known her. "Suspected Foreign Fishing Vessel on our radars. 2Dads has it on the EOD now." She gestures towards 2Dads who seems to shrink as soon as Kate's gaze falls upon him, as though he's expecting her to suddenly rage and storm at him once more. Her own figure stiffening, Kate nods curtly and moves to investigate the screen.

"RO, try and raise them on radio." Kate instructs, and as RO attempts to communicate, Kate watches the EOD carefully.

"They're picking up speed, Ma'am." Annika reports.

Kate nods soberly. She'd noticed the same. "Right." She agrees, turning to Annika. "Hands to boarding stations, X."

* * *

As Kate fingers the binos around her neck, she can't help but wish that she was out on the waves with the rest of them. It's the thing she hates most about being the CO - that she doesn't get to do boardings anymore. She misses the thrill of the action, misses the responsibility. Now, all she does is watch with her heart in her throat.

It would have been a good distraction too, far away from the drama of her current situation.

_Run with me, Kit. Come with me. _

She tightens her grip on the binos, refocusing on the crew, that irrational part of her worrying that the moments she's looked away will have been the moments that disaster strikes. But the boarding is a routine one, and once they've catalogued the illegal catch (as Charge had put it, a particularly rank catch of trochus), they are ready to transfer the fisherman back to the _Hammersley _and prepare to sink the unseaworthy vessel.

The boarding party have just stowed the RHIBs when the SAT Phone rings, and Kate is greeted by Maxine's voice. "Kate," She greets. "How's the patrol going?"

"Very good, Ma'am." Kate reports back, glancing at the surveillance system where she can see Dutchy, Bird and Annika ushering the FFV crew into austere. "We've just apprehended an FFV attempting to smuggle trochus from our EEZ. Vessel has been apprehended and the catch has been catalogued and now ditched. We were preparing to transfer the crew to _Huon _to bring back to port so that we can continue-"

"Negative, Kate." Maxine interrupts, and there's a certain _something _in her voice that wasn't there before. Kate opens her mouth, puzzled, but Maxine continues, sounding more like her usual self. "_Hammersley's _new order is to return to port ASAP."

Kate blinks, sandwiching the phone between her shoulder and her ear as she shifts to get a better look at the Marine Link console. "Ah, may I ask why, Ma'am? We're fully fuelled and _Hammersley _only just began its patrol."

"The Federal Police need assistance and as they've worked so closely with _Hammersley _in the past, they asked specifically for your crew." Maxine explains. Kate throws a glance at Charge, who is looking just as confused as she is. "So, make ready for home."

"Aye, Ma'am." Kate murmurs, still feeling quite confused herself as she hangs up the phone.

"What's got you all puzzled?" Charge enquires, and Kate realises that the only reason he's looking so concerned is the look on her own face.

"We're headed back to port." She explains, fingering her dog tags as she stares out at the waves.

"Already?" He frowns. "Odd."

"Yeah." Kate agrees, tapping a finger against her bottom lip. "Yeah."

* * *

Of course, a trip to NAVCOM requires an entire wardrobe change, and Kate fidgets with her bun, trying to get it to sit right. She hates her Whites the most; the uncomfortable fabric and the way she's so paranoid about accidentally spilling anything on it.

Preparing herself for the Cairns heat, she makes to leave, but at the last minute turns back, snatching up the phone hidden in her drawer and stowing it in her pocket. _Just in case. _

* * *

Maxine waves her straight in and closes the door, something that in itself usually means trouble. Kate glances at the desk for some sort of clue as to what this is about, but the desk is neat and empty, save for the usual stationery and Maxine's collection of wooden boats. Maxine, for her part, looks quite as put together as normal, although her smile doesn't quite reach her eyes as she greets Kate.

"Lieutenant Commander, please sit down." She instructs, not quite meeting Kate's gaze, and yet again, Kate has that feeling that something is wrong. "Ah, how are you?"

"A little puzzled, I'll admit. Ma'am, what's going on?" Kate cuts to the chase as she sinks into the offered chair.

"Ah..." Maxine hesitates for a moment, then glances out of the window, and as Kate follows her gaze, she spies two Federal Policemen watching the both of them through the glass. In an instant, Kate's limbs suddenly feel like jelly and her heart skips a beat. Maxine catches her looking and her resolve seems to strengthen as she takes her seat behind the desk. "I need to ask you about your relationship with a Zachary Tate." All the air seems to rush from her lungs. The world is spinning and she's barely clinging on to the edges of the chair. From far away, Maxine calls her name again. "Kate?"

Of course, she'd known. She'd known from the moment she'd spied the Feds that it was to do with Zac. A rush of terror sweeps her like a wave, and she wonders where Zac is now. "He is my ex-husband." Kate murmurs, looking up to meet Maxine's eyes. "But you already know that. It's in my file."

Maxine tips her head in agreement, and turns to Kate. "I need to know what your relationship with him now is?" Maxine presses. Kate's eyes flicker once more to the Feds. When Kate doesn't immediately answer her, Maxine taps her fingernails on the desk. "Kate, serious allegations have been made against Mr Tate. If you're in any way involved, you need to tell me now so that I can help you-"

"It's not against the law to have a relationship with an ex." She feels cornered. Trapped. "You should understand that." She hadn't meant to say the last part. For a moment, Kate wonders if Maxine is going to start yelling, or put her up on charges for the out-of-order comment. Maxine's eyes flash, but she says nothing more, and Kate makes a valiant effort to try and get her temper under control. "Look, Ma'am, I got back with Zac. But I haven't done anything wrong." But she knows that it's not Maxine she needs to convince of her integrity. Sighing, Kate nods in the direction of the Feds. "I'm going to have to go over this with them, aren't I?" Ever so slowly, Maxine nods in agreement. "Well then..." Kate frowns. "You might as well bring them in now."

"Kate..." Maxine begins, but then falters. For a moment, they both look at each other, and Kate knows that neither one of them have any clue what Maxine was going to say. Then Maxine bows her head. "I'll go and bring them in." She murmurs. Her hand brushes Kate's shoulder ever so slightly, but Kate doesn't look up. Instead, she stays perfectly still, not looking up until a new voice enters the fray.

"Lieutenant Commander McGregor?" One of them steps forwards and shakes her hand. "My name is DSC Roland Spike, and this is my colleague DSC Sebastian Tridant. We need to ask you a few questions about Zachary Tate."

* * *

Kate closes the front door behind her and leans heavily against it, closing her eyes just for a moment, willing herself to be somewhere, _anywhere _else. But when she opens them, she's still in the exact same spot. Every inch of her feels raw and exposed, and now...

Her house has been invaded.

Her house.

Her home.

Her private space.

Torn apart.

The police are no longer there, but the evidence of their searches are plainly evident. Cupboard doors hang open, clothes tossed from the laundry hamper are scattered carelessly across the hallway floor. The cushions from the lounge are unzipped and replaced clumsily, and what looks like hundreds of muddy footprints are tracked in every direction. She heaves a weary sigh, dreading moving upstairs but knowing that she must.

More mess greets her upstairs too. Her clothes are scattered across the floor, the contents of her bedside drawer flung everywhere - photographs, letters, jewellery and perfume bottles. All the pockets are pulled out of her clothes, and a photograph of the _Hammersley _crew lays on top, the glass frame cracked.

She sinks to her knees and scoops up a beaded earring from the carpet. It had been a gift from her grandmother and now... now the other was somewhere in this mess. And before she can stop herself, a sob escapes her, and she crumples, hugging her knees.

* * *

"Boss!" It's just like so many months before, with the crew seated around the tables, a collection of glasses in front of them. And she can't stop her eyes from flickering to the stage, just for a moment, wondering if he might be up there playing. But no. Music is flooding from the speakers, some _Adele _album.

"What's the go with the unexpected R 'n' R?" Charge enquires from his spot at the table, but Kate ignores him. She's surprised that she's not sending chairs and tables flying, because she's certainly not paying attention to her path. And, hell, the windows should be flickering and the windows should be rattling and people would be yelling, not celebrating right now.

"You-" Kate stabs a finger in his direction, stopping millimetres from his chest, and she's so angry she wants to start smashing things. She wants explosions and fire and crashes and bangs. She wants him to hurt like she's hurting now. "-you have _no idea _what you've just done!"

"Ma'am?" 2Dads shifts his chair back, looking absolutely petrified. The cheeky smile that had adorned his face a moment ago has been wiped away, to be replaced with a look of absolute terror. "Boss, I don't know what you're talking about."

"No?" The rest of the crew have fallen silent, maybe even the rest of the bar, but she's beyond caring what anyone else thinks. "Thanks to you and your inability to keep your bloody mouth shut, I've got cops searching my house and Zac forced to run for his life! I'm getting grilled by Feds and my phones tapped, my whole fucking life under a microscope. And I promise you, I am going to make you regret what you've done until your dying breath!"

"Boss!" Someone calls. A hand grabs her arm, but she ignores it, not even registering who it is, who is pulling her away.

"No! You've gone too far this time! Playing with people's lives like they're bloody play things!" She throws off the hand that's pulling her back and glares at 2Dads, filled with hatred. "You're finished."

She doesn't want to hear anything else he has to say. Doesn't want to hear his excuses. She can't forgive him for this. And so she turns and runs from the pub, anger coursing through her veins, until all she longs to do is scream and shout.

"Hey!" He's following her.

She lets out a sound in between a scream and a yell and twists back around as 2Dads dashes after her. "Get the fuck away from me!" She hisses, clenching her fists. "Go back inside and drink away your pathetic little life-"

"I didn't do it, okay!" 2Dads yells, trying to be heard over her shouts. He's holding his hands up in surrender, looking at her pleadingly, but Kate can only scoff. "I promise, Boss! It wasn't me!"

"You honestly expect me to believe that? You think I'm stupid, expecting me to believe that when you were talking about it just yesterday!" She challenges, taking a step closer and pushing him in the chest. It's barely enough to knock a fly over, but he doesn't seem to expect that she'll touch him at all, and she probably has his inebriation on her side, because he takes a staggered step backwards.

"I swear!" 2Dads pleads. "Please, believe me I didn't-"

"Stop!" Dutchy's voice enters the thicket, and she has to actually turn around to try and control her anger.

When she's gotten her breathing under control she spins around again, shaking her head. "Go back inside. This doesn't concern you."

"It does." Dutchy steps forward, looking at her as though she's a bomb that's about to go off. With one hand, he grabs 2Dads' arm and pulls him back. "It wasn't 2Dads that called the cops." He swallows hard. "It was me."

For a full ten seconds, Kate stares at him. When she does speak, her voice is quivering with rage. "I hate you both." She hisses, angrily swiping away the tears from her eyes. "And I never want to see either of you again."

"Kate-" Dutchy begins, but a moment later he's on the ground, and Kate is already running away before she's even realised that she hit him.


	15. Chapter 15

"What do you reckon this meeting's about?" Charge is the one to break the silence, and although he seems to be addressing the whole room, Dutchy can feel Charge's eyes on him. Dutchy supposes it's to be expected after rocking up to the briefing with a brilliant black eye, but it doesn't mean he's happy about the extra attention. Especially not when he's feeling so miserable. "I mean," Charge continues, checking off each point with a finger. "We were called back to port, we have a meeting at NAVCOM? And the Feds are involved?" He leans closer, and adopts the same dramatic whisper he uses when elaborating on his latest conspiracy theory. "Must be _some_ case they're working on."

There's a general murmur of agreement from those listening to him, which seems to be everyone except for RO, who is staring out the window, Annika, who seems to be having an argument with one of her kids about his messy room via phone call, and Kate, conspicuous only by her absence.

"Do you think the Feds will sail with us?" Bird enquires, glancing over her shoulder at the two officers talking to Maxine in her office. Bird looks ridiculously young in her whites, like a child dressing up in her parents' clothes more than anything else. "I mean, do they just come on board? Is that a thing?"

Charge shrugs. "They have before. A few years back we were dealing with a potential terror plot and they were onboard." He throws a critical look at the Feds. "Not these blokes though."

They all stop and stare for a while longer. Behind the glass, Commander White looks stressed. She rakes a hand through her hair and shakes her head, but the glass is too thick for them to hear what she is saying to the two Feds standing seriously before her. "Typical." Bird mutters, raising a finger to gesture in their direction. "The only one that can read lips and she's not even here." The crew look up. It's the first time that any of them have mentioned Kate. He supposes after she'd stormed out of the pub there would have been gossip galore, but he hadn't stayed to listen.

He glances at his watch and his gaze flickers to Annika, who flashes him a reassuring smile before turning back to her phone call. ("No, you _can not _just duct tape your brother's lips shut, no matter how loud he's being!")

"So..." Bird voices her question in a tentative tone, spinning her hat around in circles in her lap. "What _was_ going on last night? I mean, the Boss was full going off at 2Dads and-"

"It's nothing important." 2Dads grumbles, not looking at her.

"Well, she was _seriously _pissed off..." Bird continues, her eyes on 2Dads as though hoping his expression will give something away. "I mean, she looked about ready to murder you and-"

"Bird, shut up! It's none of your business!" 2Dads snaps back, throwing her such an uncharacteristically stern look that Bird takes a step back. Dutchy stands up straighter, ready to grab 2Dads if necessary.

"You don't have to be so rude." Bird sniffs. Dutchy wonders for a moment if she's going to cry. "Geez, 2Dads! I was only-"

"Bird. _Enough._" Charge flashes her a warning look and she falls silent, fidgeting with her hair.

She ducks her head, and Dutchy guesses that she's probably fighting back tears. Normally, he'd go to comfort her, but today he's just wound up, and he doesn't have time to baby her. He's saved the trouble though, as a moment later Commander White walks through the doorway of her office and calls out. "Guys, in here please." She leads the way towards the briefing room, a stack of papers in her hand. The crew exchange a glance, and then follow. He wonders vaguely whether Kate will already be there, but a quick glance at the room tells him otherwise.

Maxine waits until they're all seated, shuffling the papers around in front of her in a way that suggests a need to do something with her hands rather than any real need. She's tenser than normal, and none of this bodes well for him. A moment later, she begins to talk, with the air of admitting something against her will, and Dutchy feels his heart sink. "In order to try and quash any... false rumours that may or may not be flying around, I have called you all here to inform you that you will be sailing with a replacement CO." She clears her throat as they all exchange glances, more like children than trained sailors. "Lieutenant Commander Bradley Harper will be taking command of _HMAS Hammersley _effective immediately. He has ample experience within the patrol boat service, and I trust you will all make him feel welcome." The speech reads as though she's rehearsed it over and over. She exhales heavily and throws a glance at the police officers standing at the door. "Lieutenant Commander McGregor has been questioned about her knowledge of alleged criminal activities undertaken by a Zachary Tate, who we understand to be an ex-spouse. In the process, we were left with no choice but to temporarily suspend her."

"What?" 2Dads interrupts, looking as though he's been slapped in the face. "You suspended her for what _he_ did? That's-"

"Leader, I assure you, it was not a decision that was made lightly. And we hope to have her back as soon as possible." She glances down at her papers again. "We are working in cooperation with the Federal Police, and I expect that the crew of the _HMAS Hammersley _will do the same. If anyone has any knowledge of any misdeeds by either Mr Tate _or _Lieutenant Commander McGregor, I expect that they would come forward immediately. Until further notice, you should refrain from conversing with Lieutenant Commander McGregor about anything related to the Royal Australian Navy. Any problems or issues should be brought to me, or Lieutenant Commander Harper."

* * *

"So Zac's a criminal, huh?" Charge nibbles at the strawberry skewered through the straw of his milkshake an hour later. He, Dutchy, Bird, RO, and 2Dads had gathered at a local cafe afterwards, all too wired to even consider going home. For a moment he frowns, as though thinking hard, then tips his head. "I mean, I guess I could believe that. But blaming the boss too?!"

"It's bullshit." 2Dads mutters under his breath, squishing his piece of banana bread with his fork. None of them are feeling really hungry. "The brass are a bunch of morons. And Knocker should have stood up for her!" His fork clatters against his plate as he drops it in disgust.

Bird drops her own fork too and fiddles with her dog tags. "But..." She says tentatively. "I mean, suspending her is serious, right? They wouldn't do it if they didn't think-"

"If you are seriously suggesting that Kate McGregor is crooked-" Dutchy begins in a warning tone.

"No one is saying that!" Charge declares swiftly, obviously trying to deter them from arguing once more. A moment later he sinks back into his chair. "Hopefully Fleet Legal can sort it out for her." His nose twitches. "Just wish I could get my hands on that little bastard for getting her involved in the first place. You know, I've been thinking about that break in. You remember, a few months back?" There are a few dull murmurs of ascent and several slow nods. "Well, what if that was why she was attacked in the first place? I mean, we always said it seemed dodgy, them taking the time to strangle her before they cleared off?"

There is silence for a few moments as they all seem to absorb what Charge is saying. "You think it was someone Zac pissed off?" Bird's voice delicately breaks the quiet of their conversation.

"It's certainly sounding that way." Charge nods impressively before punctuating his statement with a loud slurp of his milkshake.

Bird's eyes seem to go, if possible, even wider. "But do you think... like Zac _killed someone _or something? I mean-"

"He stole money!" 2Dads explodes, knocking over the salt and pepper shakers as he jerks his hand. "Okay Bird?! He stole a lot of money! Does that satisfy your curiosity?"

"Okay, why are you being such a dick to me?" Bird snaps, looking close to tears again.

2Dads looks at her in disgust. "Because you're over here chatting away like this is the latest _Home and Away _episode! This is _real life, _Bird!"

"I know that!" Bird snarls furiously. "I just-"

"How do you know he stole money?" Charge interjects, yet again cutting Bird off before the conversation turns into a full blown argument. 2Dads rolls his eyes and rights the salt and pepper shakers, slamming them onto the wooden table.

"Well, he was the one that dobbed her in." RO points out. Dutchy just resists the urge to do something slightly stupid. Like throw RO through the shopfront window. Obviously RO had learned nothing about not poking an angry bear.

"It wasn't me!" 2Dads barks. "I wouldn't do that to her."

"Yeah, right." RO mutters.

"You want to say that to my face, Robot?" 2Dads fires up at once. He throws a furious glance at Dutchy, but says nothing about who had truly called the police. Looking as though he's biting hard on his tongue, he takes a deep breath. "Look, Zac... he's a con artist. He... he pretends to be... high end art dealers or... or real estate developers. Whatever." He catches Charge's puzzled look and adds, "He conned my parents. That's why I thought I recognised him... when we first met him."

"So the question is, is he scamming her? Or does he genuinely love her?" Bird ponders, resting her chin in her hands.

"Don't think it makes much of a difference either way." Charge points out sadly. "Either way, she's in deep."

Dutchy can't sit here anymore, feeling the guilt eat him up from the inside. He pushes himself to his feet so suddenly that his chair falls to the ground with a clatter. Feeling four sets of eyes on him, he drags a hand over his chin. "It was me. I told." He makes sure to look at RO. "_Not _2Dads. Okay? I... I knew he was into some dodgy shit. I didn't think..." _Didn't think they'd go for her_. _If I was quicker. __If I was smarter. _"Look, I'm going to go over to hers. Try and... I don't know... talk some sense into her."

"You think that's wise?" Charge points out. "I mean, we got told not to talk to her about Navy stuff. And... she has been pretty adamant about us staying out of her personal life."

"No." Dutchy admits. For a moment he teeters on the edge of movement. Then, quite suddenly, he digs $20 out of his pocket and drops it onto the table. "But I'm doing it."

* * *

She'd known it would only be a matter of time before one of them comes knocking. She'd seen him pull up from her bedroom window, watched him undo his motorcycle helmet and tuck it under one arm, and she hates how calmly he can walk to her door, even though she'd told him not 24 hours ago that she never wanted to see him again.

She'd meant it too, and it's with a twinge of satisfaction that she sees the dark bruise on the side of his eye. Sure, her hand might hurt like a bitch, but at least it had felt good. She'd wanted to hit him again and again, wanted to take her keys and scratch at his motorbike, to smash every beautiful thing in his life to pieces the way he'd done to her.

She wonders how long he'll knock for before he gives up.

But five minutes pass.

Ten.

Then fifteen and he's still there, standing at her front door, and she needs him to go. Her hands shake, and she steadies them on the windowsill, gripping the wooden frame as tightly as she can, as though if she just applies enough force her whole mess of a life would steady itself.

And she breathes.

In.

And out.

In.

And out.

She opens her eyes again, but he's still there, still knocking on her door, and a fresh wave of fury washes over her. She's so overcome with rage that she's found herself stalking down the stairs before she can stop herself, her feet stepping over the papers and photographs and the rest of the detritus of her life, all a tangled mess that the police had left for everyone to see.

He stops his knocking as she approaches the door. Her door _is _glass after all, and frosted or not, she knows that he can see her. A moment later, he says in a defeated tone, "Kate... can we just talk? Please?"

"I told you I never wanted to see you again." She tries to inject as much rage into her words. She wants them to wound him like daggers. She wants him to bleed. And she knows that might make her seem dramatic or demented, but but she can't help it. She's furious.

"I never wanted to hurt you. I promise." And even though they're separated with the glass, she can still hear the wobble in his voice. "Kate, I was trying to look out for you. I was trying to be a good friend."

"Friends don't call the cops on each other, Dutchy." Her hands are shaking, and she digs them into her thighs. "They just don't."

"Kate, please just open the door."

She hates the wetness trickling down her cheeks. She doesn't want to waste any tears on him. "They suspended me, you know? And Zac-" Her voice cracks.

"You're better off without him."

Her fingers clench at her side, and she longs to fling it open, not to talk to him, but to give him another bruise. "Leave, or _I'll _call the police." She hisses. "You don't get a say in who I have in my life! You never liked Zac. Not from the start. You never gave him a chance. And the first chance _you_ got, you screwed us both over. And we'll never forgive you."

She realises her mistake the second before Dutchy does. _"We?_" He repeats, all hesitancy gone. "He didn't just run, did he? You know where he is!"

"I want you to leave!" She takes a step back, wanting to get away from him before she says something else, lets something else slip.

"Kate, you... you can't throw your life away like this. You..." His voice cracks. "You can't turn your back on the people who love you. You can't just run away. They're going to come after you, too! You'll be complicit. You'll..." She lets his words wash over her like white noise. And with a rush of clarity, she realises that this is _that moment, _the moment where her life changes in the blink of an eye. And it's almost as though she's not in her body at all, or maybe she's just floating on air as she makes her way back into the lounge room. She draws the phone out of her pocket. The phone that she's carried with her since he'd given it to her the night he'd told her everything. The phone she'd managed to keep hidden from Dutchy and the police and the Navy.

The phone with only one number in it.

He picks up after only one ring.


	16. Chapter 16

Sitting straight backed in her car in the pre-dawn darkness, she could almost swear time has stopped. She's long since given up on the radio, jabbing the power button after trying unsuccessfully to get even a fraction of a song over the previous five minutes. She hates the silence pressing in around her. She has no phone to play music through, and no CDs either. Just a car stripped of everything but herself, a few clothes and her life savings. Her life, reduced to just a backpack of worldly possessions.

Her hands tighten on the steering wheel, gaze fixed forwards even though she's turned the engine off long it's strange how important this simple act of sitting in a car feels right now. Like she's teetering on the edge of a cliff-face, staring down at the waves. Preparing to jump.

The world she'd known is gone forever. The security of a happy home, of a simple life together was long gone. And _Hammersley._ _Hammersley _was gone for good.

Her breath is shaky, and she focuses her attention on steadying it, trying to slow down the constant _thump thump thump _of her own blood pounding in her ears, and the adrenaline coursing through her body.

_Breathe, Kate. Be calm. Be rational._

Almost as soon as she tells herself these words, she realises why it feels so wrong. She'd thrown calm, rational Kate and all her logical decision-making and well thought-out ideas behind. Calm, rational Kate hadn't made the decision to run away with Zac. It was the other Kate. The one that he always seemed to bring out in her. The one that thrills her and scares her in equal measure, and she finds herself wondering what _this _Kate would do to calm down. Just as quickly, she realises the answer. She wouldn't calm herself down, because Zac was always the one to calm her. Zac was the one that could make her laugh and smile and _breathe._

Headlights arc suddenly out of nowhere, flashing as they flit in and out of the trees surrounding their little clearing, and she glances at the clock on the dashboard, even though she already knows it's him, and before she can fully register exactly how she feels about that... he's there, pulling up beside her and pushing open his car door.

Slowly, she echoes his movements and climbs out of her own car to move in front of him. For a moment they stop, and look at each other through the dim light of the internal car light, frozen, as though each of them is trying desperately to gauge the reaction of the other. And then he steps forward.

"Are you sure that this is what you want?" He asks, his voice shaking slightly. A hand reaches out and brushes her arm lightly, and she leans into the touch, closing her eyes for a moment. And she remembers him asking her the very same thing, all those years ago when they'd first decided to get married. Looking into his eyes, she gives the same answer she had before.

"Yes."

* * *

It's been four weeks since she disappeared. At first, they'd sent message after message to her phone, left voicemails and kept knocking on her door long after it became clear she wasn't coming back.

When Dutchy had finally snapped and broken into her house, he'd found her phone resting neatly on her bed, next to her house keys, and a coating of dust that made it clear she hadn't been there for some time.

It took a while for the reality of the situation to sink in.

She was gone. She'd chosen him. And she wasn't coming back, and yet none of them could stop themselves from detouring past her house, looking in vain for a lit window, or turning their heads every time someone walked through the pub door.

And it doesn't stop them trying to find her.

* * *

2Dads can't shake the feeling that he's in the wrong place, even though he's double and triple checked the address against the one RO had (reluctantly) retrieved from her file. He compares it yet again, before finally believing that, _yes, _this is the right place, and he frowns out the window at the dusty landscape.

The fibro house in front of him is surrounded by a tangled garden full of weeds, the few patches of grass there is dying and brown. One of the front windows is smashed, taped clumsily up with a sheet of plastic, and as he catches sight of the horrible floral curtains flapping in the hot breeze of another open window, he can't think of anywhere more unexpected for Kate McGregor to have lived. Such a stark contrast to the shiny cars and large house he'd grown up with, before he'd thrown it all away.

Hell, he'd barely had enough for the rental car to get here, but he'd felt he couldn't stay away any longer. If there was any chance at all of helping bring Kate back... well, he was going to take it. He gets out of the car, the heat of the day hitting him as suddenly as though he's just opened an oven, and within seconds sweat is dripping down him, sticking his shirt uncomfortably to his back. Before he's managed to process anything beyond the heat, however, the ripped flyscreen door suddenly bangs open, and a woman with greying blonde hair emerges, a cigarette between her teeth, and makes her way towards a crooked letterbox.

2Dads supposes that she might once have been beautiful, years ago, but now her face carries a more weather-beaten quality, and her clothes, though stylish and modern, are faded, as though they have been well-worn. The woman sighs as she tugs a collection of letters out of the letterbox, her brow furrowed as she flicks between them. Apparently nothing seems to be anything she had been hoping for because she sighs in a resigned sort of way and turns around, freezing as she catches sight of 2Dads. For a moment they both stand there, shock and fear in her eyes. And then, just as suddenly, she whips around and makes her way back to the door.

"Wait!" He hadn't meant to shout, but the sound escapes him before he can formulate a plan. He winces, moving closer to her. "Please wait? I'm... I just want to talk to Mrs McGregor. I... I wanted to ask a few questions about your daughter."

The woman doesn't turn around, but she consents to pause, flicking her cigarette but to the cracked concrete path and grinding it between her teeth. "Haven't been bloody _Mrs _anything in decades." It isn't exactly a denial in being Barbara. In any case, and there is something distinctly Kate-ish in the way she moves. "And I haven't anything to say to people like you."

2Dads doesn't quite know what she means by this. "People like me?"

She spits the word as though it's the filthiest curse she can think of. "_Cops_." She peers over her shoulder for a moment, her eyes raking over him in a dismissive sort of way, before making to turn once more, and 2Dads knows that Barbara might be the only chance they have at finding Kate.

"No! Wait!" He hadn't meant to shout, but panic at losing this only shot fills him with adrenaline. "Please! Listen! I'm not a cop. I'm a friend of Kate's." For the first time, she looks him in the eye, and he can't quite discern her expression. "Please! I just want to find her."

She stares at 2Dads for several long moments before her shoulders seem to sag. "She's run off with him again, hasn't she?"

* * *

He supposes, in all the time that he has known her, he's never stopped to imagine Kate McGregor as anything other than an adult, as though she'd suddenly appeared in the Navy years ago, fully grown. He knows, now he thinks about it, how childish a notion this is, but for some reason the idea of a _child _Kate never really seemed real until he was suddenly staring at a picture of her smiling a gap-tooth smile, arms outstretched as she reaches the highest arc of a swing.

"She was seven there." Barbara's voice seems to come out of the shadows and he jumps, replacing the photograph clumsily. She chuckles, dismissing his flinch with a lazy wave as she sets two glasses down upon the bench. "It's quite alright to look." She herself picks up the photograph too. "She was always such a daredevil. Always jumping off swings, or racing around on her bike. Scraped knees everywhere. She was never one to sit and... and play dolls or princesses. She was always hanging out with the boys, having pirate fights or playing... blooming detectives or what-have-you. Probably shouldn't have been surprised she joined the Navy. She never really grew out of it." She smiles fondly for a moment at the 7-year-old Kate, then replaces the photo sadly, turning back to 2Dads. "You know I have no idea where she is? I haven't seen her in a few weeks."

"But you know her. And you know Zac." 2Dads presses, peering at her closely for some glimpse of recognition or acknowledgement. Some flicker of an answer in the expressions on her face. Barbara, however, turns away, moving over to the windowsill where several cardboard cubes are housing dirt and seedlings, busying herself watering them. When she says nothing, 2Dads continues. "Look... we're worried."

"He wouldn't hurt her." Barbara sniffs. "And anyway, I don't know if asking me stuff will help. It was all in the past."

"Except he's not. Not anymore." He points out. She turns and leans against the sink. For a moment she seems to teeter on the edge of speech.

"He'd never hurt her." She repeats, and it's almost as though she's trying to convince herself just as much as she's trying to convince him. "Not on purpose, like. But... he had a way of getting himself into trouble and she had a way of following blindly no matter what the consequences were."

"And what were these consequences?" Barbara's eyes travel back to the photo of Kate, and against his judgement he finds his gaze wandering towards it too. He's never seen her look that carefree and happy before. Is that how Zac made her feel? Lowering his voice, he tries harder. "Look, if there's anything you know that could help us-"

"I… I don't know everything." She sinks into a chair at the kitchen table and invites him to do the same with a wave of a hand. "He always seemed to get Kate in trouble. Just kid stuff, though he'd convince her it was all for a good cause. You know, letting all of the frogs out in the science labs, or pranking this guy at school because he'd been picking on younger kids. But to Kate, they were all for making a difference. I mean, it all sounded like nonsense to me, but Kate was all about morality and ethics and… things between Katie and me… they weren't good." She meets his eye. "I'm not proud of it. But I had a boyfriend – Frank - and... well, he didn't exactly enjoy having a kid around. And I was too drunk most days to help her."

As he looks into her eyes he can see the shame and anger that this recount is bringing forward. Part of him wants to reach out and comfort her, but his skin is crawling and his stomach is lurching and he's still imagining all the horrible things that happen to kids when their Mum's boyfriends don't want them around.

"She was always… always responsible. Always smart and headstrong. Wise beyond her years." Barbara nods at the picture again with a small smile. "When I took that photo, she was explaining the science behind why she wouldn't physically be able to swing 360 degrees like I always used to warn her about if she kept pushing herself so high. Bloody know-it-all, she was." She takes a gulp of her water, before setting it clumsily down onto the table once more. Several splashes of water slop down the side.

Barbara doesn't seem to notice or care, though, and she ploughs on with her story. And it occurs to 2Dads that she might never have had anyone to talk about her daughter with, that he could be the first person. "Sounds about right." He agrees with a small smile.

"I think I took advantage of that." She admits regretfully. "I knew that she could look after herself, so… so I let her. And if I ever felt guilty… well, a quick drink would make me feel better, and another and another until I was blind drunk or asleep." She shakes her head. "There were times… I remember her pleading with me to get up, to wake up because she couldn't physically get me off the bathroom floor. And I'd be no help. The floor would be tipping and I'd be beyond wasted and… and it was easier to close my eyes than listen to the whiny little brat trying to ruin a good buzz." She swipes angrily at a tear in the corner of her eye and her words are becoming faster and faster. "I choked on my own vomit more than once. Kate's spent countless hours throughout the night making sure I was breathing. I mean, God, she was only a kid and I put her through all that shit. And I hate myself for it. And then Frank, well, he was another story. She got bruises, but Frank would say she fell over, or hit her head. Knocked into a kitchen cupboard and it… it was just easier to believe him." More tears are coming now, thick and fast, and 2Dads has to clench his fists to stop them from shaking. "I mean, I'm so ashamed. I know I can never make it up to her. I hit rock bottom and… and I just clawed my way out and by that point my little girl wasn't so little anymore."

He can't bear to look into her eyes anymore, doesn't want to witness her self-pity. It was no wonder that Kate was as closed off as she was, with a past like this. He finds his gaze flitting around the kitchen, taking in the cupboard doors and linoleum floors. Had Kate once lay, right on the ground beneath his feet, bleeding and scared?

For a moment, he sees her as he knows her now, arms splayed and hair matted with blood as she struggles against a hulking, faceless figure. Then she morphs into the seven year old. He has to fight the urge to be sick.

Barbara must see the anger in his eyes, because she nods sadly. "I know. I know how you feel. How much you must hate me."

"It's not up to me to decide to hate you." He says through his teeth, although the words cost him a great effort. He needs to know what had happened.

She seems to know what he is thinking though. Despite their differences, he thinks that Barbara is just as intuitive as Kate. She bows her head, tears still dripping down her nose, but says no more about her supposed regret. "When I'd… you know… gotten my head straight, and I started trying to get involved in her life again, she was… she was already done with me. We were basically housemates." She stabs a finger into her chest. "_I _couldn't get my life sorted. So she turned to him instead. Used to sneak out all the time to see him and God knows what else. And by the time... well, it took me a while to figure out my priorities. But when I did, she was in love." She gives a sad little shrug. "She never really moved out. She'd spend less and less time here and one day I just realised her room was empty. She'd just turned seventeen. Was finishing high school."

"Where did they go?" 2Dads interjects before he can stop himself. "I mean, they were both underage, weren't they?"

The hopeless look on her face gives away the answer before it comes to her lips. "I don't know." She admits, and 2Dads leans backwards again. "Next time I saw her it was a couple of days before her nineteenth birthday and she'd told me they'd got married. Just like that. The four of them in their little group had driven out to town and they'd gotten married in some bloody council chambers or fuck knows what. She didn't even want me there. I'd… I'd fallen off the wagon a few months before and… well, we had a huge fight."

2Dads jumps as a loud _cuckoo _suddenly breaks the quiet. Heart hammering, his gaze turns towards the cuckoo clock on the wall, announcing loudly that it was eleven o'clock. They both sit mutely, eyes fixed on the clock until it stops. Then Barbara continues her tale, eyes still on the clock. "She'd… she'd wanted to start over, to share her life with me and I was too drunk and stubborn and…" She trails off, fingers picking at a scratch in the table. "She'd write, once a year or so. Sometimes I'd reply and sometimes… well, writing was never my strong suit. Managed to get her number by fluke and… it was tense. But I was determined. Things were good, from what I could gather, but neither of us would talk about Zac because he was usually the source of all our arguments. And then one day, out of the blue, she shows up on my doorstep in tears, telling me they'd ended things."

"Did she tell you why?" He can't help but hold his breath. He doesn't quite know how the information will help. Only that it _has _to, because what else can he do to find her?

"She said they wanted different things out of life."

He lets out his breath, disappointed. "That's it?"

"I told you. We weren't close. There's a lot I don't know." She sucks at her teeth. "She's a good kid, you know?"

2Dads sizes her up, and as he gazes into her face, he can see Kate in her more than ever. "I know." He agrees. "That's what I'm trying to prove."

She nods, and moves over to a drawer, withdrawing a pen and a post-it. "Fiona Cavendish. That was her maiden name. And Max Cowell. Kate and Zac's old friends. They might know something more." She scribbles an address down and hands it to him. "Try them. If anyone would know, they would."


	17. Chapter 17

"I think you should go blue." Zac leans over her, resting his chin on her shoulder as he plucks a cardboard box from the shelf in front of them both. The colour on the box is a vibrant shade of turquoise that Kate knows would look completely ridiculous on her. Spinning her around, he holds it thoughtfully against her face and looks between the box and Kate. "Hmm. Yep. Definitely you!"

"Only if you go pink." She quips back, pointing to the box next to it before standing on tiptoe to ruffle his hair. "And I have a feeling that me dyeing my hair blue might not exactly fit in with our plans to fly under the radar."

Zac nods in mock thoughtfulness, returning the hair dye to its shelf. "Yeah, you're probably right." He concedes, one finger brushing against the boxes in sequence before stopping at another. "So... pastel colours?" She lets out a wry laugh and tugs at his hand, leading the way as they continue down the aisle. "Although I could totally see you with a bit of purple and pink at the ends…" He flicks the end of Kate's hair, grinning as she tries and fails to jump out of his reach. She knocks the basket that she's carrying into the adjacent shelf, and a packet of makeup removal wipes lands at her feet. Zac tuts as he shakes his head. "Geez. Bloody destroy the store, why don't you? I even _mention _blue hair and you decide to stick it to Corporate Mr Woolworths by rioting in Aisle Number- _oop-_" She presses her lips to his, kissing away his stupid words because she can, and because she knows it will shut up his smartarse ramblings. He leans into the kiss, and she can feel his smile against hers. When they break apart, they're both still smiling. "Way to end an argument."

"I learned from the best." She quips back, smiling softly at him as she leans across him to pluck a tube of toothpaste from the shelf, dropping it into the basket with the rest of their shopping, examining the contents critically. _"And_ we forgot to grab pasta. I think that's a few aisles back. I thought you were in charge of our shopping list."

"Eh, it's all up here." He taps a finger against his forehead.

"And it's been working so well." She teases. "I mean, we only had to double back for the chocolate, the tinned soup _and _the lighter-"

"Hey, we don't all have a Navy Standard Brain that sorts a shopping list into..." But he stops as her smile falls. For a moment, they both look at each other. Then he reaches out to her. "Shit, Kate. I'm sorry. I didn't-"

She tries to brush off the slip, because she knows if he starts trying to have a deep and meaningful conversation with her in the middle of Woolworths that she'll dissolve into tears. "It's fine." She tries to assure him.

"I..." He looks at a loss as to what to say next. And really, what else _is _there to say? She _had _had Navy brain. But she'd left the Navy. "Really, Kate. I just wasn't thinking."

She manages to force a smile that she hopes looks at least semi-realistic. "Zac, it's okay. I was in the Navy. And now I'm not." She leans closer to him. "If it means I'm with you, then it's a choice I'd make a thousand times over." He still looks as though he doesn't believe her, but she takes his hand again and leads him further down the aisle. "Shells or spirals?"

"Kate…" He stops again, so that she can't keep pulling him. And, God, doesn't he understand how much she needs to keep going? She's gone too far to turn back now, and spending time looking backwards...

"Look," She lowers her "I'll admit, it's... it's a little out of my comfort zone, suddenly being on the run from the cops and going AWOL... ish... from the Navy. I mean," She waves a hand around at the produce-laden shelves, _Can't Stop The Feeling _playing over the speakers. "I'm with my ex-husband and we're doing something as mundane as grocery shopping in some random Woolworths and then we're meeting some dodgy guy to make us a fake passport so that we can flee the country. I mean..." She waves a hand. "It's not exactly my usual Saturday."

"It's Tuesday." He replies automatically, just as she'd known he would. She knows, of course, that he's too smart to be distracted fully by her words. "I... I know it's different. And if you want to go back-"

"I've told you, no!" Her voice rises automatically, earning her a funny look from a passing shopper. She smiles apologetically at them, waiting for them to pass before continuing to speak. "I made my choice, and I don't regret it. I'm with you."

The look that passes between them seems to defy words. And it never ceases to amaze her just how much they can say while saying nothing at all. His hand reaches up and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. "It's not the life I wanted to drag you into."

She gives a shrug, smiling softly at him, and repeats his own words from weeks ago back to him. "What's life if you're not living?"

* * *

2Dads gets no answer at Max's place other than a dog barking at the side gate, so he programs Fiona's address into his phone instead, and has to drive only five minutes before he's pulling up outside. The house in itself isn't too different from Barbara's, except that while Barbara's was unkempt and dilapidated, this was bordered by freshly cut green lawns and a neat flower garden. He gets out and makes his way to the door, and has barely knocked when a young girl of about eight opens the door, red hair cascading down her back.

"Hi." He begins tentatively. He'd never spent that much time with kids, except for the new X's two boys, and he had no idea how to talk to them. "Uh... I'm looking for Fiona Cavendish?"

The girl frowns for a moment, looking him up and down. Then, so suddenly he flinches, she fills her lungs and bellows, "Mum!" before disappearing. "Someone's at the door!"

He stands shuffling from foot to foot, and he has a complete _what-the-fuck-am-I-doing _moment. He's at a stranger's house, trying to get information out of her about a high school friend she probably hasn't seen in-

"Yes?" A woman appears, her hair the same red as her daughters, looking quizzically at him through the flyscreen door.

"Uh, hi. I'm looking for Fiona Cavendish?" He tries again.

The woman looks up, eyes critical, and 2Dads catches sight of the girl peering curiously at him again from behind her mother. "Haven't been 'Cavendish' in a long time, but yeah, that's me. Who are you?"

"You don't know me but I work with a woman called Kate McGregor. And... I kind of need your help."

* * *

"This looks like the place Batman's parents got killed." Kate mumbles under her breath as they make their way down the almost-cliched-looking dark alley. She's not one to feel weak, but she's grateful all the same when Zac takes her hand and pulls her along, making his way confidently towards a heavily graffitied door. He takes one final look at her, then raises a fist and knocks, the sound echoing in Kate's ears.

_Fuck. Fuck. What the fuck are they doing?_

She meant what she had said in the shopping centre, because there's no way that she is even remotely considering leaving him. But all the same, the weight of what she is about to do is pressing down on her. Up until now, all she's done is run away and disappear. Up until now, she hadn't broken the law. Up until now, she wasn't a criminal. Zac catches her eye and opens his mouth, but she answers him before he's even had the chance to speak. "I'm not going to leave." She spits out stubbornly.

The corners of his mouth twitch, and he squeezes her hand again. "Thanks." He murmurs back, just as the door is pulled open.

Going into this, Kate had imagined a large hulking figure, tattooed and menacing. But the person standing in front of her is the complete opposite. She thinks that if she was told to imagine a geek, the man in front of her would be exactly who she would think of. His eyes are magnified behind rectangular glasses, his hair a tangled mess, and a faint odour of body odour following him. For a moment, they hover in the threshold, and she knows that she's not the only one turning over what they were about to do.

"You ready?" He murmurs in her ear.

* * *

"Bloody Zac." She curses under her breath after 2Dads recounts the tale, slicing celery sticks effortlessly as she speaks. "He always knew how to get under her skin. Course, I don't know how much help I can be. I haven't spoken to her in ages." She frowns. "Not since Zac came back into the picture, I guess. She would have known..." She lets the sentence trail off, setting the knife down and sliding the celery sticks onto two plates that already have crackers, cheese and dip on them. "Kids! Snack!" She calls out.

"Known what?" 2Dads prompts, as the young girl who had answered the door comes barrelling into the kitchen, a young boy following close behind. Fiona hands them both a plate and shoos them from the kitchen, before turning back to 2Dads.

"Look, I like Zac, okay?" She assures him, as though she's worried 2Dads will think she is out to get him. "He's a mate. And… and there was never a dull moment hanging out with him in high school. And I know he loves Kate but... but he's no good for her."

"How so?" He presses. He's hoping that she at least will have some sort of information that will make this trip worthwhile, something more than the tragic retelling of Kate's childhood trauma. When she remains silent, he asks another question. "Why did they break up?"

She stills in the act of her washing up, turning the tap off and turning slowly to him. "She said he scared her." The words are low and cautious, as though the two people they were speaking of were in the room at the time and she was trying not to offend them.

"Scared her?" 2Dads repeats, perplexed. He has a hard time imagining Kate McGregor as anything resembling scared. "You mean he hurt her?"

"No." Fiona scrapes her long hair over one shoulder and takes the seat opposite him. "She... she was scared of what he might do. Of what he was capable of."

His confusion must show on his face, because she sighs again and drums her fingernails on the table. "Look, the four of us used to hang out in school. Kate, Zac, me and Max. And there was this environment club thing at school. We were all in it. One of Kate's teachers filled her head with ideas of... of saving the earth, one tree at a time, and she dragged us all along to the meetings. Max and I were just... just there, but to Kate and Zac... they were really involved. And after they left school they kept it up. I mean, they'd go to protests and... and, I don't know, recycle. Whatever." 2Dads frowns, not exactly sure where the story is going. "But Zac joined this other group. And... and I guess at the start Kate thought it was all good and moral, but apparently their intentions soon became more... more eco-terrorist than save the earth hippies and... and Zac seemed to be right in it. There was this protest and it turned into a huge brawl and Zac ended up charged with assault... I guess that was the last straw for Kate. They fought and... and that's all I know."

"They..." The story doesn't quite make sense. "I don't get it. They broke up because of a fight?"

Fiona seems to be weighing up her words before she voices them. "Basically Kate... she wanted to save the earth, even if it inconvenienced her. He... he wanted to save the earth even if it cost other people."

2Dads swallows, absorbing the news. Now that he thinks about it, the story fits. Of course, Zac had robbed those people (in his own mind at least) in some misguided quest for justice. It made sense that he was like that in high school too. "Do you have any idea where she would go? Where they would run?"

Fiona gives a wry smile. "Hon, you've got no chance of catching her."

"I'm not trying to catch her. I'm trying to _find _her. The police are after her. After him. She's already been suspended from the Navy and now she's on the run with him. If they're caught... if the police find her-

Fiona drags a hand over her face. "Look, she... she might have mentioned something about camping. They used to go camping a lot in this little clearing a couple of hours away. I don't know the name though. We went there once all together after we finished high school. But they used to go all the time. It's way out bush. Had to borrow a four-wheel-drive just to get there."

She frowns thoughtfully for a moment, then stands up, moving to the sideboard to her left. Digging through the drawers with an intent look in her eye, she soon frees a small photo album. She sets it down upon the table top once more, and flicks through the pages. 2Dads catches a few upside-down glances of a younger Fiona, a glimpse of blonde that might have been Kate, before she stops at a photo and taps at it.

"Here." She murmurs, turning the album around so he has a clear view of the group of four people. He recognises Kate immediately, though the smile on her face is unlike anything he's seen before. She's sandwiched in between Fiona and Zac, a fourth person that must be Max on the far left. They're all waist-deep in the water, grins wide as they hold their arms out. "Look… Kate's a good person."

"I wouldn't be here if I didn't agree with you." He murmurs. "I… I promise, I'm trying to help her."

* * *

Kate emerges from the car and makes her weary way towards the lone tent set up on the banks of the creek, the scene of so many adolescent adventures. When they'd been younger, this had been their go-to holiday destination, a place so remote that they could almost kid themselves they were the only two people in the world.

It had been freeing, back then. That solitude, the time to just be together and be in love, with no one else watching them, or trying to stop them. Now the silence is pressing in on her, and she has to dig her fingernails into her palms and remind herself that this was the life she'd signed up for. That it would be just the two of them from this moment on.

Zac busies himself about the portable camping stove, and Kate finds she can't just sit around. "I'm just going for a swim." She murmurs, leaving before he can stop her and making her way towards the creek. She misses the water, needs to feel the coolness pressing in around her and then-

"2Dads?!" Kate can't help but shriek as she spies the lone man making his way along the creek bed. For a moment she stands, frozen in horror as they both look at each other, and he looks so hopelessly out of place, here and now in the place that seemed so utterly hers-and-Zac's.

"Wait, Ma'am please!" 2Dads holds his hands up in surrender, moving closer to her before she's even fully registered that she's backing away from him as though he's brandishing a weapon.

And then, just as suddenly as he'd appeared, sense seems to come flooding back to her. "What are you doing here?" She hisses, throwing an anxious glance around her. Did he come alone? "Are the cops-"

"It's just me." He interjects, and he looks as though he is still making his mind up about what to say. If it was any other situation, Kate would find it hilarious that 2Dads had found her against all the odds and now was rendered speechless at the eleventh hour. And, God, her own heart is still thumping against her rib cage. "I... I spoke to your mother. And to Fiona. Fiona sort of led me here." He explains, and despite everything that has happened, he still looks sheepishly apologetic at having violated her privacy by speaking to the people in her life. "We're worried about you. _I'm _worried. This... it's ridiculous!"

Kate draws her arms around herself and shakes her head. "I can't, 2Dads. I... I'm with Zac. I made my decision."

"Even if it lands you in prison?" He challenges. She says nothing, and he throws his hands in the air. "I don't _get it, _Kate. You... you said you were done with him and now you're... you're living in a fucking tent in the middle of nowhere. If you're intent on disappearing, then the least you could do is tell us why." The air around her is thickening, her heart is hammering in her ears.

And she needs him to leave but even more, she needs him to understand that this was never a decision she made on a whim. For a moment, she simply finds herself opening and closing her mouth. Then she shakes her head. "I love him, Leo."

2Dads shakes his own head. "See, the Kate McGregor _I _know... she'd never throw away _Hammersley _and her friends and her family. Not for some guy."

"I never wanted to throw you all away. I was going to contact you when it was safe-"

"When you're successfully in some non-extradition country with your criminal ex-husband?" 2Dads snaps.

"Leader-"

"You don't get to outrank me. You're not my boss anymore." 2Dads cuts her words off, fury in his eyes as he points an accusing finger in her direction. "You left us! You took off and now-"

"I'm pregnant." The words slip from her mouth before she can fully register them, and for a moment there's only the sounds of the distant birdsong and the water rushing in the creek. 2Dads' gaze slides predictably from her face to her stomach, still hidden behind her arms. Unfolding them, she reaches out and brushes 2Dads' arm. "I grew up without a Dad, 2Dads. I can't do that to my child. I know I can make it work and... and if I have to lose a boat for that, then..." Tears are pricking the corners of her eyes. "I need you to understand."

"And Zac? He's all for parenting on the run?" 2Dads can't keep the bite from his tone.

"He doesn't know." 2Dads looks up in confusion. "You're the first person I've told." She takes a step closer. "None of this is easy. But... it's what I've got to do. It's what I want to do." Before he can respond, she leans in and hugs him. "And you're going to make an amazing Petty Officer. Just keep working hard."

2Dads nods, still feeling lost for words. When he does recover, he manages, "And... and there's nothing I can say to make you come back with me?"

"No." Kate murmurs, giving a soft smile. "There isn't. I'm sorry."

"Yeah." 2Dads agrees. "Me too."


	18. Chapter 18

"I swear, by the time we reach civilisation again, I might have been eaten alive by mosquitoes." The only thing illuminating their tent is the solar lamp in between them, sending a dim orange glow around them. In the light of it, Kate sees Zac slap at his shoulder with a palm, cursing softly, before staring up at her in amazement. "Seriously? How are you not getting bitten here?"

"Well, some people's scents are just super attractive to mosquitoes." Kate points out, as she finishes unlacing her shoes and toes out of them. "You must be one of those lucky people." She grins cheekily down at him. "And I guess I'm not." She peels back her socks, and gestures towards the now-zipped tent entrance. "That's why I said to make sure it's zipped shut after it gets dark. But _someone _didn't listen to me." She pokes a tongue in his direction and he adopts a look of mock-indignation.

"Pfft. For all I know, you've replaced my bug repellent with sugared water." He gives a pointed sniff in the direction of his wrist, eyes narrowed in suspicion. "I'm onto you."

She barely smothers a wide yawn. "Ah, you caught me." She deadpans, snapping her finger. "Looks like it's back to the drawing board for further covert affairs."

"You're hilarious." He leans back, tucking his hands behind his head so that he can still watch her. "Ooh. Comedy _and _a striptease." She stills in the act of stripping her jeans off for sleep as he grins goofily up at her, waggling his eyebrows in an exaggerated fashion. A moment later, she's balled them up and tossed them at his head. "Oof!" He laughs.

"You're a shameless flirt." She teases, combing her fingers through her hair, wincing as it snags on a knot.

"What can I say? You bring out my romantic side." She lets out a snort of laughter, unzipping the edge of her sleeping bag. A second later she leaps back, shrieking in fright. "There's a snake!" She calls out. One hand is already fumbling behind her for the zipper to the tent, the other gesticulating madly in the direction of her sleeping bag. "Zac, there's a fucking snake in my sleeping bag!"

"What?" Zac splutters.

"It's a _snake!_" She hisses, still flailing madly.

Zac leaps into action just as Kate manages to get the tent entrance unzipped, and she moves through it frantically, not caring that all she's wearing is a t-shirt and underwear, intent only on putting as much distance between herself and the snake. Zac scoops up the sleeping bag and drags it through after her, disappearing from view. There's a few tense moments of silence, and then he returns, holding the sleeping bag open. "It's gone." He assures her, dropping the sleeping bag in favour of wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "Just a python, Kit. Promise."

Kate drags her hands down her body, as though trying to rid it of cobwebs. All over her, her skin is itching, as though a million tiny spiders are crawling on her. "I hate snakes." She's unable to keep the whimper from her voice.

"It's okay, Kate. It's gone."

"No, it's not okay!" She can't keep the terror from her voice. Hands twisting in front of her, she shakes her head, willing the tears to keep at bay. And she knows it's a ridiculous thing to cry about. After all, she's faced terrorists and drug dealers and actual fucking serial killers, but she doesn't think her heart has ever pounded like this. "It's not okay! Zac, I can't keep doing this! I can't... I can't live in a tent and eat plain pasta every night! Snakes and... and spiders and..."

"Hey," Zac tries to hold her closer, but she leaps away, hands still twisting madly. "It's... it's only temporary, Kate. Once we've got the new ID's-"

"I need a plan, Zac!" She waves a hand around at the blackness. "This? We... I can't do this for years on end. I need to know where we're going and what we're doing. I... I need to know. I need to know that I'm not just some toy you're dragging along on a crazy adventure."

Zac holds his hands up in surrender. "Of course you're not! We just need new IDs and then we can go anywhere we want, Kate! We just need a bit of time while we wait for them and then-"

"I don't have time, Zac!" Kate throws her hands up in the air. "I'm pregnant!"

She's heard about the oxymoronic 'ringing silence' before. She'd just never thought it could exist until now. Even the crickets chirping in the background seem to have ceased as Zac stares at Kate, mouth wide in shock. For a full ten seconds, they stare at each other, and Kate finally realises what's she's said.

"I... I shouldn't have told you like that." She murmurs, raising a shaking hand to cover her mouth. "I'm sorry. I..."

"You're..." Zac takes a step backwards, and this isn't how she wanted to tell him, not in the pitch blackness standing outside a tent while she's spiralling and ranting about pasta. Not while they're arguing. And certainly not while they're on the run. She watches his face anxiously, trying to discern what he's thinking, trying to decode the emotions on his face. But it displays nothing but shock as his gaze travels predictably to her stomach. "You're what?"

"I'm pregnant." She repeats hesitantly, trying to convey the apology in her tone. She takes a step forwards, her other arm reaching out as if to touch him, even though he's way too far away from her. "I know we didn't plan it, and-"

"Kate-"

"-if this isn't what you wanted, then I can walk away-"

"Kate!"

"-because I know you have plans and-"

"Can you stop writing our future before I've even had time to process?" Zac snaps, and they both fall into silence for a few more moments. And, geez, she feels ridiculous, wearing only a t-shirt and underwear and shivering in the cool breeze outside the tent while Zac stares uncertainly at her belly as though some sort of monster is going to burst out of it at any moment. He opens and closes his mouth several times before he finally manages, "Why didn't you say anything before?"

Kate shrugs. The tears are flowing fully now. She thinks that she would have been okay with him shouting. Anger and confusion she can deal with. But this... the hurt in his voice. That is killing her. "Zac, I... I didn't know how to tell you. And I was scared. And... and I didn't really know what to think. And... and I didn't find out until after 2Dads had... you know... told me. It was too much." She can't help the hand that moves to rest on her belly as she looks down at him. "I should have told you before. I was just..." The other hand rakes through her hair as she stares at him.

Still Zac is saying nothing, still staring at her, and she feels her hands grappling to grab her dog tag chain, before she remembers that they're back in Cairns. "This isn't how it's supposed to go! We were supposed to get things right this time, not... not make things worse. And now, here we are in the middle of fucking nowhere waiting for some dodgy guy to make us fake passports and I'm pregnant and I love you but this isn't how it's supposed to work!"

"And do you think we can make this work?" Zac challenges. One of his hands wave around to gesture at the tent and the trees.

"I hope so." Her voice is barely more than a whisper, choked with tears. And for a moment, there's nothing but the wind whistling through the trees. Then Zac moves tentatively towards her.

"Yeah." He nods, resting a hand on her stomach. "Me too."

* * *

"Pregnant?!" Dutchy stares in horror at 2Dads, as though pleading for him to assure him that the whole thing was a joke. When the younger sailor simply stares at the bottom of his bottle, Dutchy feels the last vestiges of hope leave him. "That's fucking all we need."

"She seems... happy." 2Dads hesitates on the last word, not sure whether he's voicing it right. And, geez, the whole thing is so confusing. He'd gone into this task seeing it as a rescue mission, intent on nothing else but finding Kate and bringing her home, because _of course _she'd come back. He just hadn't banked on... that.

"You should have told me you'd found her." Dutchy's irritated voice interrupts his thoughts, bringing him back to earth. "I could have spoken to her! I could have convinced her to... to figure something out."

"You wouldn't have spoken to her." 2Dads points out, sick of feeling as though he was getting the blame for a decision far out of his control. "You'd have yelled and shouted, just like you always did whenever Zac was concerned. And that wouldn't have helped anyone. Least of all, you."

"What are you going on about?" Dutchy snaps, dropping his bottle back to the table with a lot more force than is strictly necessary. The loud clunk seems unnaturally loud, even in the noisy pub.

"Oh, get real, Dutchy!" 2Dads drains the rest of his bottle and swipes at his mouth with the back of his hand. "You hated the guy from the word _go._"

"I was right not to, in case you'd forgotten." Dutchy points out. "And anyway, that's not the point. We were supposed to be friends and she just took off without so much as a goodbye. She didn't care." In that moment, he sounds like a child, stuck in that same selfish viewpoint and utterly convinced that everything that has occurred has been done to spite him. For a moment, 2Dads feels the urge to snap back. But then he sees the way that Dutchy's fingers are nervously drumming on the table, and he realises that Dutchy... he's scared. And hurt.

"You know..." 2Dads lowers his voice as he shifts his chair a little closer to Dutchy. "For the record... she didn't do any of this to hurt you." This all feels ridiculous and wrong, trying to counsel Dutchy and make him feel better, but he knows he needs to try. "Her leaving, her being pregnant and everything. She never wanted any of that to hurt you."

Dutchy looks up at 2Dads, and a bit of his anger seems to fade from him. Without his eyes flashing or his shoulders hunched, he looks... smaller. Younger. "I just wish I could tell her..." But he trails off sadly, eyes fixed downward once more.

"I know, mate." 2Dads squeezes Dutchy's shoulder. "I know."


	19. Chapter 19

**_A/N: _**_Thank you to all that have stuck around. I'm not entirely happy with this, but if I don't just bite the bullet and post, then it will sit forever. I'm honestly trying so hard, but things have been really tough lately. But it's a goal to get this finished. So hopefully I can do that. Thank you thank you thank you_

* * *

"No, I haven't heard anything." RO reports wearily without looking up from his bonsai, before Dutchy has even opened his mouth to ask the question.

Dutchy scowls, despite not being able to quite put a finger on _why _this response irritates him so. Of course, RO was bound to get sick of him asking if he'd heard anything about Kate, but all the same, he _was _the communications expert. If anything new had happened in the police investigation or from NAVCOM, or indeed from Kate herself, RO was sure to know. "Right." Dutchy kneads his fist into his other hand, wondering, for about the millionth time, _what _Kate was doing now, and where she was. "And nothing from the feds or-"

"I just told you, _no._" This time RO turns around, although it seems more to give a pointed look in the direction of the door than any other effort at eye contact. And so Dutchy leaves COMCEN, slamming the door behind him, and makes his way up to the bridge.

* * *

"What about Abigail?" Zac mumbles into her neck later that night as they lay listening to the sounds of the night outside the tent. His arms are wrapped around her stomach - have been ever since they finished setting up the tent in a new clearing, as though if he ceases physical contact, then the... geez, the _baby... _will cease to exist. "…If it's a girl, I mean."

"Hmm..." Kate hums, eyes still closed. Telling him had been such a weight off her shoulders, and now that the tension has gone, she feels as though she could sleep for a thousand years. Beyond them, the nightlife around them chirps and rustles and clicks, but inside, it's just them and their baby in their own private world. "And if it's a boy?" She asks. She can feel his chest rising and falling against her back, and she matches him breath for breath, feeling the calm wash over her.

She can feel his smile against her skin, even though she can't see him. "Arthur?" He suggests, one of his hands walking two fingers over her stomach, as though it's a vast landscape to be explored rather than just her belly.

"Artie." Kate grins in spite of herself, and he presses a hiss to the back of her head.

"Well, maybe not Artie then." He muses.

He shifts, pulls her closer, and she relishes in the closeness of it all. "I like Noah." She confesses.

"Noah." Zac says the name as if it's water in a desert, liferaft in a stormy sea. "Kate, I can't believe we're having a baby." His eyelashes flutter against the back of her neck. "We're going to be so happy together, Kit." He promises. "We're going to make it work."

Of course, there's still the unspoken fear. The uncertainty of the future yet to come.

Tomorrow, they will pick up their new passports. And Kate McGregor and Zachary Tate will cease to exist.

* * *

2Dads finds himself bearing the brunt of Dutchy's anger. It's subtle at first - always volunteered to assist with maintenance, or stay with the RHIB during a boarding. He doesn't notice it at first, which is probably naive to say the least. And he accepts Dutchy's half-hearted apologies for forgetting his drink when it was Dutchy's round, cheerfully moving up to the bar to buy his own. It isn't until Charge tells him it's a shame he was too busy to join them fishing ("What do you mean you didn't know? Dutchy said you were out with your mates and couldn't come.") that he realises it's been ages since Dutchy has engaged in conversation with him.

He knows why, of course. Ever since he had gone to see Kate and returned without her, Dutchy had tried to wheedle her location out of him, growing steadily angrier each time 2Dads refused.

Of course, knowing his bosun blames him for Kate's disappearance, and knowing what to do about it are two entirely different things, and he finds himself valiantly trying to start conversations with Dutchy. He makes an effort to bring him a brew or some biccies from the galley, asks him about his shore leave. Hell, he even reads the latest issue of every motorcycle magazine he can get his hands on (okay, so he's broke and he gets them from the local library, but that doesn't mean he cares any less), so he can try and make conversation about Dutchy's motorbike. But his efforts remain unappreciated, and the brews grow cold.

He doesn't think anyone else notices. After all, Dutchy is not actively hostile to him. He still communicates professionally, relaying information and, to the casual observer, nothing was wrong. Except Annika Patel isn't just a casual observer, and she calls them both into her cabin one evening with an unimpressed look on her face.

"Alright, I want to know what's going on." It isn't a question, it's a demand. She stands there with her arms folded, frowning at the both of them as though they're her children, and 2Dads feels himself shift guiltily, despite the knowledge that, this time at least, _he _had done nothing wrong. When neither one of them respond, she continues. "This little... disagreement or whatever it is between the both of you, it needs to stop. We are a team of trained professionals, and a breakdown between two team members can have catastrophic consequences for the rest of the crew."

"I haven't got a problem with Petty Officer Mulholland, Ma'am." 2Dads settles on, not meeting Dutchy's gaze.

She clicks her tongue. "And you, Petty Officer?" She presses, peering at Dutchy. He says nothing, and she continues to speak. "Lieutenant Commander McGregor's abscondment is no one else's decision but her own. I know both myself and she would be very disappointed if this proved to disrupt the flow on _Hammersley._ Now, Dutchy, if you have something to say to 2Dads..."

"I have nothing to say to him, Ma'am." Dutchy manages, still staring blankly ahead. The unspoken _ever _lingers in the air.

* * *

The day she becomes Emily is no more or less outstanding than the day that had come before it. And she marvels at the absurdity of it all – that Emily Stark had been born without a mother to welcome her into the world. There was no hospital room, no signing of papers to signify her birth.

No.

Emily was born with the tipping of a paper bag, and the slide of a passport, opened by shaking fingers.

Emily. Emily Grace Stark.

Emily and Adam.

_Adam._

And she can't quite put into words _why _this causes her to mumble something to Zac- _Adam – _about needing a bathroom and lock herself in a cubicle, tears running down her face. Because even though she still has _him, _and they're still the same people, there's an incredible sense of loss that makes her feel as though the world is splitting in two.

Gone are the days of Kate and Zac. Gone are the days of _Hammersley _and friends and her mother and his sisters and every other person that Kate McGregor once knew.

Because now, it was just Emily and Adam against the world. And it's all well and good to tell herself that it's just a name, but now... now she's overwhelmed with the crushing realisation that it's name, her identity, her life and everything she has ever achieved seem to have been encompassed in those eighteen letters. Kate. Kate McGregor. Kate Violet McGregor, who'd come to Australia and joined the Navy and lived and loved and pushed herself onwards.

Emily.

_Emily. _

She doesn't know how long she sits there, leaning heavily against the cubicle door and shaking with sobs. Only that it must be _some _time, because there's a knock on the door and she hears Z… hears _his _voice at the door. Zac. Adam.

She wonders if he's having the same internal crisis that she is. Or if he's used to changing his name.

"K- uh… Em? Are you in here?" _Em. _It almost knocks the breath out of her. Already, he's made her name his own. Made it sound familiar and friendly on his tongue, even though she's still spiraling.

But she'd chosen this. Had known, realistically, that this day would come, from the moment that she'd chosen to hide him. So she forces herself to take a shaking breath, and swipes furiously at her eyes. "Yeah." She calls back. "I'll be a second."

* * *

"I'll quit." 2Dads' words break the tense silence between them, and despite his anger, Dutchy finds his eyes snap to 2Dads. He hadn't even heard the younger sailor approach, so intent was he upon staring out at the waves and feeling the salt-spray on his lips. "I'll quit _Hammersley, _Dutchy."

"And what the hell would that achieve?" Dutchy snaps back, returning his gaze to the sea once more. Not so long ago, he'd been standing here with Kate, joking about... _something. _Something unimportant. But they'd been happy. He wracks his brain, trying to remember _just _what had been so humorous, but already his memories of her are slipping through his fingers like water.

"Patel is right, Dutch." 2Dads takes a step forwards. "We're a team. And the ship can't have its bosun distracted like this. And I know you can't forgive me. So I'll leave."

Dutchy lets out a dry snort of laughter, even though there's nothing funny about reality now. "And that's supposed to make me feel better?" He challenges. "It's not going to bring her back. She's gone."

For a moment, there's nothing but the hum of the engines and the churning of the sea. And then 2Dads speaks, his voice soft and low, as though at the sickbed of someone very dear. "She'd not dead, Dutchy."

_She might as well be, _he thinks bitterly, the words leeching like poison through his bloodstream. Yes, Kate McGregor had gone, had left them as completely and abruptly as Swain had. _She might as well be dead. _

"I... I loved her too, you know." All the breath catches in Dutchy's throat at 2Dads' next words, and he has to fight the lump in the back of his throat and the prickling behind his eyes. "I loved her. Not like you did. But... if I could have brought her back, I would have."

"Well, you didn't." He spits.

"I _couldn't_." 2Dads corrects. "I tried, Dutchy. But... she's happy. She's happy with him and she's... she's safe."

Dutchy pushes off from the railing, rage flooding through her. "She didn't even have the decency to say goodbye!" He snaps. A hand slaps hard against the bulkhead, as though to emphasise his point. "She just left! No goodbye! No fucking farewell! She chose him and she just took off into the night!"

He's mad now. Furious. And he hates that 2Dads is just standing there feeling sorry for him, as though _he _was the weak one. Looking at him like a jilted lover, a broken-hearted fool. As though he was something to be pitied. "That was wrong." 2Dads agrees softly. And Dutchy can feel the young sailor standing behind him, but still, he refuses to look at him. "That was wrong, leaving like that. And I know she feels awful about it."

"She knew what he was like! What he had done! And she still bloody chose him over- over all of us! Chose him and took off without anything! It's selfish is what it is! And then you found her, and... and you took away any opportunity for me to... to..."

"...to get closure." 2Dads finishes softly for him, sighing heavily. "Dutchy, hit me. Yell at me! Scream! I can take it. But I can't bear to lose Kate _and _you over this. We were mates, Dutchy. All of us."

"Do... do you honestly think she's safe?" Dutchy asks softly, looking him properly in the eye for the first time.

2Dads gives a sad sort of smile. "I wouldn't have left her there if I didn't believe that."


End file.
